Constant resurfacing memories/ memories floods

[[co...]]

Does anyone else get memories that keep flooding back to you? Where you'll be constantly bombarded by memories of the things that you've done, or had happen to you, or whatever..

 

It seems like every waking moment of the day is one big trip down memory lane.. and it's not a good one (at least for me)..

 

Anyone else get this?

[[tw...]]

Yes! I went through a very intense period of that! You know how on sitcoms they do "clip shows"? It was like that. There's an excellent article on life review during benzos - I don't know if anyone posted it here or if it's only external. I'll try to find it.

[[co...]]

Yeah, I've read that article. How long does this last for? My taper will be completed within 1 week and I'm curious as to how long I'll be experiencing this for.

[[ki...]]

yes. its brutal. its like all of my mistakes are on replay. and its random. i can be in a stable mood just trucking along and BAM!  the haymaker of memories out of know where. it happens at work and i physically tense up like a jolt of electricity ran through my body.

 

the mental anguish is one thing but having the psychical reaction is embarrassing.

 

even memories that really arent that bad i dwell over and just want to cry from the embarrassment. 

[[ki...]]

everyone is different but i am 27 days into being benzo free and its still happening.

 

its equally as frequent as it was but not quite as severe.

[[Ke...]]

It’s happening to me, and IMO, it makes sense.  This drug numbs us and thus, memories are “stuck” in our muscle memory.  I’ve done several sessions of EMDR throughout the past 8 years and have healed from much of the trauma I’ve processed. The things that are coming to mind, are things I have not processed. I’m taking this as an opportunity to heal and work through those circumstances that still cause me shame. Just like fear, shame can be dehabilitating. It’s not easy but it’s worth it.

Let’s just say I couldn’t be intimate with my husband unless I was intoxicated.  I stopped drinking many years ago and intimacy was always a struggle.  I no longer struggle as I reprocessed they trauma and no longer have flashbacks.  EMDR worked for me and I have yet to hear of someone for whom it didn’t work. It doesn’t erase the memory, but the impact on a person lessens greatly.  I’ve heard people say that it’s too hard to think about the trauma.  I usually have a few days of feeling emotionally depleted, then, by the third day I feel like a thousand pounds has been lifted off me.  I’d rather struggle for three days than the rest of my life with painful memories.

I believe so much of what we go through requires “reframing.”  I can choose to think about sonething from a very negative perspective or, I can reframe it to something that will serve me well.

[[He...]]

Benzos numb us.  Not just some parts.  Benzos don’t discriminate.  So yes, memories go underground, too.  Whatever is there to deal with is still there. 

 

Many people with anxiety have trauma.  Flooding memories are a symptom of trauma looking for an outlet. 

 

I’ve been in EMDR therapy for months now.  It’s been so powerful.  I’ve resolved a lot.  The charge of a memory reduces.  I can know something happened, it hurt me, feel that..but the terror and shame isn’t there now.  It’s in perspective. 

 

As a trauma survivor, extreme trauma..I was in memory flooding pretty much always.  This led to so many problems.  Profound insomnia, ocd, panic.  All of that was an effort to escape from having to look at my traumatic experiences.  Then I was handed the magic benzo.  And so it began.

 

I know this taper will be successful, because those traumas are finally managed. 

 

I’m so close to benzo free, and now with the hurts and flooding well managed, too. 

[[QU...]]

Thanks for bringing this topic up cookiemouse 25,i am tortured by these memories ,they are ruining me .

ive never been as sick as the last 8 months[especially last 3 months]  and it must be the 1mg diazepam ive been on for that time .

its also given me horrible OCD .my depression seems to use these memories to thrash me with .

i havent started my benzo taper so it must be a side affect of the drug for me .im so brain dead i cant get my head around starting the taper.

Thanks .

[[Ca...]]

Yes I can relate to this. Does it also feels uncomfortable even when a good memory is popping up?

[[He...]]

Buried memories don’t only bury bad memories.  All of them randomly go under.  Then they all randomly come back.  Your brain is processing everything.  So, good and bad can feel uncomfortable.  Because the memories are all joined.  I can be thinking if something nice, then an intrusive feeling that seems not connected happens.  Because when one memory occurs, others try.  It’s like a smiling face at the door, it behind the door there’s a bad guy, too.  You can’t bury only bad memories.  The brain doesn’t work like that. 

[[tw...]]

I'm about 8 months away from the end of my very slow taper. I went through an intense period of "life review" during the winter and then it dissipated.

[[...]]

Yes, this happens to me daily. I'm six months in to my taper. Dr. Ashton says it's because the drugs suppress emotions and to think of this as a sign that your brain is healing. I'm trying to see it as a positive thing. It's good that my brain can remember things and is learning how to process stuff again.