Can Multiple Cold Turkeys Still Heal?

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I am coming to realize that I did a multitude of cold turkeys from Valium (mostly 8-12 mg) over my first 4 years of 5 years of Valium use.  It was prescribed "as needed" so use was all over the place.  That is part of the reason I haven't managed to do a signature yet.  I also took Ambien "as needed."  So, I am very, very kindled.  (This last year, since I became Benzo-wise, I have done a slow taper from 8 mg down to my present .19 mg. 

 

Can I still heal?

 

Is it likely to take years and years?

 

I searched the Success Stories for kindled and it seems there are very few success stories from those who kindled, and the ones there are are from people who were not on their benzo very long.

 

Help me out here.  I want to know the truth.  I have mostly bad physical pain symptoms.  Most of the psychological symptoms have passed.

[Guest [ba...]]

Bottom line - I think it depends on you.

 

There are people who take this stuff on and off for years and don't have any problems.  There are people who takes this stuff for a couple of week and do.  And there's everything in-between.  Maybe you've made it harder, but maybe you're totally up to it.

 

fwiw - I think it's encouraging that you don't have psychological issues from the kindling. 

[[di...]]

Nobody knows what the likelihood is for you as an individual. Different people with the same experiences up to now will have different recoveries.

 

What we can say is that of course you can heal and most likely you will heal. Could it take a while? Yes, but it's unlikely that you won't see significant improvement before recovering. People who take 3 and 4 years to recover aren't usually in hell for that amount of time before miraculously snapping out of it. What I read is usually people who had some stubborn symptoms that stuck around after the other ones went.

 

You are giving yourself the best chance slowly tapering as you are. If you are coping, it is a good sign that you are healing and will continue to heal. By "coping", I don't mean that you aren't having difficulty or feeling like shit a lot of the time. It's expected that you're not at your best right now. Looks like you're about ready to jump. It is the normal course of things that you're not going to feel very good for at least 6 months. Remember this is normal and it's still normal to feel like you'll never get better even knowing that fact. It's a phase you have to go through and the huge likelihood is that in a year from now, you'll be doing better than now. In two years time, you'll probably be doing better still. In three years, you almost certainly will be able to say that you're healed.

 

I have a version of what you're going through. I believe that I will heal to a tolerable degree. I have been through so much, took extremely sharp reductions and healed as I have gone. The exception that I make is this screeching tinnitus. I am habituated to it because I've had it since 2015... but it still really sucks and on some level seems unfair. I know that I'd appreciate it very much to have internal silence at some point in the future. And sometimes I give some thought to the question, will it ever get better even if it takes 10 years? If it ever goes, I won't be expecting it.

[[He...]]

Yes.  You can heal.  People heal.  Success stories on BB are a small percentage of all people who take benzos and successfully taper.  The majority of people never post anywhere.  Because they’re doing well.  They don’t need to get support or hang out here.  They’ve moved on.  Including those who went up and down and off and on.  Even people who post in BZb don’t post success stories.  Because when they’re done, they just stop posting.  They move on.

 

It’s important to understand the possible outcomes.  But try not to focus on the few negatives.  These are the least common. 

 

Over 50 % of benzo users struggle to get off them.  Many have mild to no symptoms.  Of those, even fewer have severe kindling or unsuccessful tapers.  It’s only unsuccessful if you want off and never ever achieve that. 

 

Healing happens.

[[sh...]]

"I have mostly bad physical pain symptoms.  Most of the psychological symptoms have passed." This is a really good news! It means that you are healing! Psychological and physical symptoms are strongly correlated. If you look at the Ashton Manual link to her research article to Benzodiazepine Withdrawal: An Unfinished Story https://benzo.org.uk/ashunfi.htm and scroll down to Table 2 you can see how physical and psychological symptoms improve with time after taper was finished.

[[de...]]

Yes your statement that most psychological symptoms have healed are a testament to your likelihood for success. Hope your pain issues soon follow suit! But I understand your frustration.