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Question regarding memory of past when healing and fully healed


[ki...]

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so i see a lot of us asking about if our brain will start working again moving forward, but i want to drill a little deeper.

 

since benzos make it difficult to commit new things to memory, do we ever recover memories regarding experiences we had while taking benzos?

 

for example, i have been going on vacations throughout my benzo journey the last 6+ years. are there details i forgot that i will remember suddenly? has anyone had that happen?

 

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After 2 years free from Benzos, my experience is that a whole lot of memories surface in recovery but they are from the past - prior to using Benzos.  I still can’t recall a good part of the time that I was on Benzos. 
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I’m 8 years free of Benzos as of 06/2020. Post-withdrawal, my memory from the time I was on Benzos remains unchanged. Meaning, if we think of our memory like a roll of film, I didn’t quite suddenly find a cool outtakes-reel of things/missing scenes that didn’t register fully at the time. I was on Benzos for 20 years. Some memories were strong during that time, some were not,

 

Memory from my actual withdrawal and its immediate aftermath is almost nonexistent. Using film as a metaphor again, my actual withdrawal period, especially the first year, is very memory-sparse. As if the director of the film got up and walked away, but kept the film running. There’s a scene there, another snippet there, some fuzzy images there, etc. Sometimes I wonder if not having great memory from my withdrawal and post acute withdrawal period isn’t a blessing.

 

But now, fully healed, there is a new director making the film. The scenes are captured with attention to detail, I can playback new memories as I wish, I can playback old memories as I wish, withdrawal is still a big gap, but in the end, the periods before withdrawal - during withdrawal - and after withdrawal are part of the full experience of what is, and will be, my human life.

 

Hang in there,

Dave

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[fc...]
I am 2.5 years off benzo. My memory is my early w/d is empty. I also had 6 times ECT during the first 6 months off. And ECT is well known to cause memory loss. But my long term memory is coming back. And I remember a lot now. My short term memory is almost normal. But it feels like my mind is blank but it isnt. I cant " see " inner pics though I cant visulize stuff. i have read it's  called anphantasia. I thought I  had to do with my memory but it dosent. I  can remember phone numbers and bank account numbers without problems, important dates and what I do every day. I know who I am now. I remember me. My life pre benzo my life from year 2 off is clear. . My life after the first year off is not much to remember either. Living housebound. All days are the same boring crap. Nothing happens and there is nothing to remember. :angel:
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thank you everyone for your replies.

 

major bummer that i may not be able to recover memories while on benzos but im glad i took a lot of photos and videos.

 

interesting to hear there were still issues creating new memories in withdrawl.

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