Still Trying To Taper V.

[[Ni...]]

Greeting's! It has been a long time since posting on BB. Tapering became exceedingly, difficult, following the sudden, death, of my only child in 2018. It seemed easier to barely, taper. Not an excuse, just a fact. Anyway, a month ago, I cut 1/4th, of the liquid V's recommended cut (1 ml.?), and that is quite difficult, with the symptoms, for my little engine. A few days ago, I thought I would try to do another, tiny, cut, from the liquid V. It seems a bit overwhelming, although very, small according to what many of you are accustomed to advancing with, for your goals. The typical, smashing headaches, lethargy, extreme vertigo, agoraphobia, shortness of breath, etc..

I shall not return to a higher dose, and have not, at all, since the demise of my daughter. But, last night I wondered if I will ever be able to actually reach, the finish line, or even want to. Yes, that does sound a bit fatalistic.

I have no girlfriends, or family any longer. But, at least I have a husband who helps me, and does our food shopping. Plus, he finally read about some of the numerous, horrid symptoms on this site, so he could better understand my daily misery's.

In the last 3 years, I have gone outside of the house, only 3 times per year, for one hour.

It would be so wonderful to receive some words of support, insight, and suggestions, at this time.

Thank you for taking the time to read my sharing, on this wonderful site.

T

[[He...]]

Hi Nimue

 

I’m so sorry for your incredible loss.  That’s so sad. 

 

I wish you would go outside.  You need air and sunshine to heal.  Just sit outside.  Try in the morning. 

 

I think you’re very brave to persist with your taper.  It’s worth it.  You’ll feel more clear, energy, and ability to really heal from your losses.  I know it seems impossible.  You’ll never forget, it will always be sad.  But you deserve to heal and feel peace.

 

Have you thought of ways to reach out and get support?  Perhaps an online Skype counsellor? 

 

It’s important for healing that you not isolate so much, and find someone to talk to.

 

Sending care and prayers for your complete healing. 

 

 

[[Ni...]]

Hello, Healing64!

How wonderful, for you to take the time to write some lovely, encouraging words, today.

Your sweet, words of sympathy, meant so much to me as well, and brought tears to my eyes.

Yes, you are absolutely, correct, in regards to going into the outdoors, and receiving some Sun as well. Luckily we have a large, back yard, covered porch and many tree's, filled with lovely birds.

I do go out there with my walker, a few days a week. Yes, one does feel brighter within their spirit, upon sitting, in the outdoors.

I had failed to mention that I do have an area to get out of the house 24/7.

I liked reading your words in regards to "you are brave to continue". Those particular words gave great, hope, and a feeling of desiring to persevere, no matter what the issues, to be encountered, as the trail is walked upon, towards the goal, of zero, Valium, within the blood stream.

Thank you, so very much, for reaching out, and giving of your self, with the "gift", of supportive, kind, and compassionate, words.

[[go...]]

My heart goes out to you.  I think it is incredible that you were able to avoid re-instating during the time since your loss.  You have strength and you have your husband.  Take it as slowly as necessary.  Treat yourself well.  Lean on your husband.  I think it is great that he was willing to read about our plight.

[[Ma...]]

Hi Nimue,

 

You are incredibly brave and strong person, even if you don’t feel that way. All of these crazy symptoms do go. I’m 7 months out from my 2 year Valium taper. There s no rush to taper in my personal opinion.

 

These are the symptoms that have gone or Improved. I still healing and have a bit to go.

Shortness of breath

Acid reflux

Dizziness

Insomnia

Depression

Anxiety

Paranoia

Agoraphobia

 

Your symptoms will diminish. I know the body becomes super sensitive to everything in withdrawal.

I eat a really clean diet and avoid overstimulation and generally over doing things for the moment. I’m kept my brain distracted when I was low.

 

Have you heard of the dynamic neural retaining system? It’s used to treat all sorts of symptoms. Might be worth a GooGle. I’m using it at the moment.

 

Take care.

 

 

[[He...]]

Hi Nimue

 

It’s good you have an outside area to sit.  Studies have been done on the healing power of nature.  People have actually healed depression from 2 hours if nature exposure daily.  Do that really helps.  Sit and listen to the birds outside.  Interesting is the fact that this same benefit was found by watching nature on tv, nature sounds etc.

 

And yes, recognize your incredible courage.  You can be a beacon of light for others simply by healing yourself. 

 

Have a peaceful day 🙏

[[Ni...]]

My heart goes out to you.  I think it is incredible that you were able to avoid re-instating during the time since your loss.  You have strength and you have your husband.  Take it as slowly as necessary.  Treat yourself well.  Lean on your husband.  I think it is great that he was willing to read about our plight.

Hello, goforit! Your first words, which showed kind, empathy, with the horrid loss of my daughter, were so sweet to read. Yes, perhaps that is true, when you stated that it is incredible that I was able to avoid, re-instating, during the time of my loss. I shall reflect on that as I continue my taper, journey. Okay, that is a good, reality check as well: "Lean on your husband.". I do "bark" at him when feeling horrid. Yikes! ; ) Yes, he has seemed to be even more, empathetic and caring, since reading many of the plights spoken of on BB.

Thank you, for taking time to write some highly, supportive and good advice to me.

[[Ni...]]

Hi Nimue,

 

You are incredibly brave and strong person, even if you don’t feel that way. All of these crazy symptoms do go. I’m 7 months out from my 2 year Valium taper. There s no rush to taper in my personal opinion.

 

These are the symptoms that have gone or Improved. I still healing and have a bit to go.

Shortness of breath

Acid reflux

Dizziness

Insomnia

Depression

Anxiety

Paranoia

Agoraphobia

 

Your symptoms will diminish. I know the body becomes super sensitive to everything in withdrawal.

I eat a really clean diet and avoid overstimulation and generally over doing things for the moment. I’m kept my brain distracted when I was low.

 

Have you heard of the dynamic neural retaining system? It’s used to treat all sorts of symptoms. Might be worth a GooGle. I’m using it at the moment.

 

Take care.

Hello, Matt Man!

Alright, I shall consider myself to be incredibly, brave and strong, more often then not. How great are those words you chose.

Well, congratulations on your 2 year, accomplishment on your taper off of V.

It seems a bit daunting to read of your own specific, ongoing symptoms, regardless of hitting a 7 month out, milestone. Yet, I have read of quite a number of similar issues, and more, that many can still suffer from, long after their goal is met.

Indeed, a clean and healthful eating plan, is highly beneficial.

Keeping ones brain, distracted, when low is another excellent, reality check.

No, I have not heard of this particular, study, entitled: "Dynamic Neural Retaining System". Sounds rather intriguing and worth a checking into.

Thank you for your great words of support, and numerous, intelligent suggestions.

 

[[Ni...]]

Hi Nimue

 

It’s good you have an outside area to sit.  Studies have been done on the healing power of nature.  People have actually healed depression from 2 hours if nature exposure daily.  Do that really helps.  Sit and listen to the birds outside.  Interesting is the fact that this same benefit was found by watching nature on tv, nature sounds etc.

 

And yes, recognize your incredible courage.  You can be a beacon of light for others simply by healing yourself. 

 

Have a peaceful day 🙏

Hello, Healing64!

It was quite a lovely, surprise, to discover another, wonderful reply from yourself.

Yes, I am grateful to have access to an outdoor, retreat. Your words, in that regard, have now encouraged myself, to make a point to take advantage of the peaceful, beauty out there, more often.

Indeed, listening to the glorious, sounds of nature and viewing many aspects of its beauty, is definitely lifting to ones spirit and inspirational.

Yes, so many beautifully, filmed, presentations are to be had on television. Even my big, water turtle, finds pleasure and peacefulness watching many of these kind of shows, with us. ; )

How uplifting, the words: "Recognize your incredible courage."...And: "You can be a Beacon of Light for others, simply by healing yourself." Oh, my goodness. Those sentences, I have never heard, verbally stated to myself.

You give such healing, and strengthening comments, which in turn, of course, offer immense, feelings of fortitude, to persevere, no matter what.

Thank you very much, for your wise and peaceful counsel.

May your own day, be filled with peace as well.

 

[[Ke...]]

Dearest T, my heart goes out to you. I’m terribly sorry for your loss.  That kind of pain would be hard enough to bear without being on a Benzo and trying to taper.  Please give yourself some grace. I’m sure your daughter, who is an angel watching over you, would want you to have many years of peace and joy. Grief is not a linear process, nor is Benzo w/d.  Just to share some things that helped me grieve some huge losses; just “talking” to the loved one, writing a letter, journaling is very powerful also. Of course, you need to be ready for these things. Don’t be afraid to let yourself just cry...there was a time when I was scared to cry because I never thought I would stop. Quite the contrary, crying is a gift to our souls and it actually releases chemicals that help us. 

The others are right, getting natures sunshine is so important to MH.  I’m hoping more people are realizing that, as a result of Covid. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Start small and set attainable goals. Like “I’m going to sit outside for a total of 15 minutes this week and do it when you feel up to it. I understand how we feel paralyzed to our own emotions and feelings at time.  Something that has really helped me, is thinking of everything as a train passing.  I can “observe” the train, but don’t have

to get on. 

I can’t say “I understand” how painful this must be because only you know your pain.  I can say I will pray for you that one day, you will find peace in your heart and joy in your soul. There is much beauty to be seen in this world...even the fragrance of a lovely flower. You, alone, can take your shards of glass and turn them into a stained glass window.  Take back your power.  YOU deserve peace.

[[Ni...]]

Dearest T, my heart goes out to you. I’m terribly sorry for your loss.  That kind of pain would be hard enough to bear without being on a Benzo and trying to taper.  Please give yourself some grace. I’m sure your daughter, who is an angel watching over you, would want you to have many years of peace and joy. Grief is not a linear process, nor is Benzo w/d.  Just to share some things that helped me grieve some huge losses; just “talking” to the loved one, writing a letter, journaling is very powerful also. Of course, you need to be ready for these things. Don’t be afraid to let yourself just cry...there was a time when I was scared to cry because I never thought I would stop. Quite the contrary, crying is a gift to our souls and it actually releases chemicals that help us. 

The others are right, getting natures sunshine is so important to MH.  I’m hoping more people are realizing that, as a result of Covid. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Start small and set attainable goals. Like “I’m going to sit outside for a total of 15 minutes this week and do it when you feel up to it. I understand how we feel paralyzed to our own emotions and feelings at time.  Something that has really helped me, is thinking of everything as a train passing.  I can “observe” the train, but don’t have

to get on. 

I can’t say “I understand” how painful this must be because only you know your pain.  I can say I will pray for you that one day, you will find peace in your heart and joy in your soul. There is much beauty to be seen in this world...even the fragrance of a lovely flower. You, alone, can take your shards of glass and turn them into a stained glass window.  Take back your power.  YOU deserve peace.

Hello, Keep moving forward!

Such wonderful words you chose to share with me.

Yes, indeed it is healthy to release ones feelings, whenever any arise from a great loss. It can be especially helpful while dealing with ongoing issues during tapering, of course.

All of your words, showing kind empathy, and kindness, added so much to the positive thinking one needs to pursue a great, goal.

May you, as well, have a good and healthy journey with your own achievements.

Thank you very much for taking time to write some good reality checks, and caring words.