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Emotional Stability


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I'm now over 26 months off. I'm certainly doing better than I was a year ago at this time. I'm sleeping better and having normal dreams again, and that started a couple months ago. I'm also able to sleep every day and take naps. My nerve burning seems to be getting better at times but it flares up and I still have muscle spasms which aren't a problem really.

 

However, the one thing I'm dealing with is emotional instability. I feel mad constantly and it's been directed at my wife. I get mad so easy and then I will feel it as long as I'm at my house. I feel like crying because I know the anger is unjustified a lot of the time but other times maybe it is. Today, my wife simply said you should go get in the shower and I was immediately enraged. I went and took a shower and felt mad the whole time and felt like crying. Then I will leave the house and feel relief and know that the anger is uncalled for and I say I'm not going to get mad again and I always do.

 

I seem to be doing a little better with my daughter and enjoy her company more than ever lately. It's my wife and I's relationship I'm concerned about and I think it's mostly because I'm mad all the time and can't have any fun. I think both my wife and I are constantly at each others' throats. Maybe it's time for marriage counseling. I do see a counselor for trauma and the emotional issues I've described and he thinks it will take years to recover, whether it's all benzos or not.

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you're always so honest...I commend you for that. I also want to give you props for wanting to work on the relationship. I don't know your whole story or your past experiences, but you are choosing to work on you. I've had to do that too and its not easy to go into the dark places inside us to examine them and find peaceful resolution. Benzo recovery definitely adds to the journey:)

 

Just writing to be supportive of you.

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I'm now over 26 months off. I'm certainly doing better than I was a year ago at this time. I'm sleeping better and having normal dreams again, and that started a couple months ago. I'm also able to sleep every day and take naps. My nerve burning seems to be getting better at times but it flares up and I still have muscle spasms which aren't a problem really.

 

However, the one thing I'm dealing with is emotional instability. I feel mad constantly and it's been directed at my wife. I get mad so easy and then I will feel it as long as I'm at my house. I feel like crying because I know the anger is unjustified a lot of the time but other times maybe it is. Today, my wife simply said you should go get in the shower and I was immediately enraged. I went and took a shower and felt mad the whole time and felt like crying. Then I will leave the house and feel relief and know that the anger is uncalled for and I say I'm not going to get mad again and I always do.

 

I seem to be doing a little better with my daughter and enjoy her company more than ever lately. It's my wife and I's relationship I'm concerned about and I think it's mostly because I'm mad all the time and can't have any fun. I think both my wife and I are constantly at each others' throats. Maybe it's time for marriage counseling. I do see a counselor for trauma and the emotional issues I've described and he thinks it will take years to recover, whether it's all benzos or not.

Hello Boomboxboy21,

You are really awesome and your family is lucky to have you! Your thoughtfulness in spite of your physical and mental pain is remarkable. You are making the first step to heal your relationship with your loved ones by analyzing your behavior and responses to stressors. Being mindful is key, just as much as appreciating the small progresses you have already made. Your tolerance level is low due to your circumstances and that is understandable. This is not only your struggle as your family can and I am sure want to be part of the solution and help your recovery. Honest, constructive communication is important in the marriage (and everywhere else), common goal setting is important and probably a good counselor could be helpful.

So happy that you have experienced some improvement with your symptoms!

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  • 1 month later...
Hey S.M. I have bad rage too still have .50 kolo to taper like I want to run down the street screaming and yelling trying to get away from it I have to go to my bedroom when really bad.  My child knows something is not right and I would never before this get so irratated at small stuff I do now. I get it at least your sleep is good I only sleep one hr a night.
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I am 4 years completely med free. I feel emotionally stable in a complete way since the end of year 3, I would say.

I mean, really stable. Although my body and CNS are still sensitive to stress, the core, (hard to explain) feels emotionally stable and my reactions are just normal and not over the edge any more. Also, this feels "stable forever" as if instability is over now.

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I am 4 years completely med free. I feel emotionally stable in a complete way since the end of year 3, I would say.

I mean, really stable. Although my body and CNS are still sensitive to stress, the core, (hard to explain) feels emotionally stable and my reactions are just normal and not over the edge any more. Also, this feels "stable forever" as if instability is over now.

 

I hope that happens to me by the end of year three. Congratulations.

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I am 4 years completely med free. I feel emotionally stable in a complete way since the end of year 3, I would say.

I mean, really stable. Although my body and CNS are still sensitive to stress, the core, (hard to explain) feels emotionally stable and my reactions are just normal and not over the edge any more. Also, this feels "stable forever" as if instability is over now.

 

I hope that happens to me by the end of year three. Congratulations.

 

I hope it will come sooner for oyu..It was a process. It is the ability to let go of feelings or people or things which bother me. And it is really weird when you notice that you now react different in the same situation, like at work, I can just let go... a client annoys me... or family,... I am able now to decide "no - no energy into this" and its fine then. Unbelievable.

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