Confused and disconnected

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Does anyone have a real problem expressing themselves?  I have had this symptom somewhat before the withdrawal but it is worse now.  I can't exactly figure how to express myself and everything I say seems difficult to get out and confusing.  I also, what to talk or text to people and I just go blank.  I don't know what to say and it's a real effort to communicate and I have real issues expressing emotions.  It's like I really want to tell someone I care about that I love them but I just can't do it.  I was told I have Asperger's at one point but I don't know if it's really been life long depression and complicated by taking benzos for so many years.

 

I just have always felt like a alien and it's like the wires in my brain work at random times and then shut off most of the time and cut me out of interaction.  Sorry I know this is rambling but I am hoping when I get off these meds if I don't in fact really have Autism things will clear up for me  

[[ki...]]

Does anyone have a real problem expressing themselves?  I have had this symptom somewhat before the withdrawal but it is worse now.  I can't exactly figure how to express myself and everything I say seems difficult to get out and confusing.  I also, what to talk or text to people and I just go blank.  I don't know what to say and it's a real effort to communicate and I have real issues expressing emotions.  It's like I really want to tell someone I care about that I love them but I just can't do it.  I was told I have Asperger's at one point but I don't know if it's really been life long depression and complicated by taking benzos for so many years.

 

I just have always felt like a alien and it's like the wires in my brain work at random times and then shut off most of the time and cut me out of interaction.  Sorry I know this is rambling but I am hoping when I get off these meds if I don't in fact really have Autism things will clear up for me

 

If you get out of my head and stop describing my symptoms i would greatly appreciate it  ;)

 

Y-E-S! i used to be a great communicator and people misread me a lot because i am so transparent and blunt. But for the last 4 years my cognitive abilities have declined immensely and i have experienced everything you ARE experiencing and HAVE experienced. Its brutal i know. And like you, i thought i had Aspergers. In fact i was convinced i has Aspergers or Autism. Its likely the apathy that has made itself at home, but i am not a medical professional nor can i diagnose you. I can only comment on what i have gone through and felt myself.

 

Youre not rambling by any means. Dont worry. Youre not alone. I am going through the same and it sucks.

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Thanks for responding.  Good to know I am not the only one going through it.  I guess time will tell what's going on?  I think I have had severe depression since childhood though that looks like Autism.  I am struggling with th decision to start an SSRI now or wait until this process is over.

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i have struggled with depression on and off and even asked them to test me for bipolar on various occasions but always comes back the same (NEGATIVE) because i am never manic. i ever get the highs. i can only feel lows, or flat (apathy or indifference)

 

I cant comment on taking SSRI's during this mess. i believe it is mentioned in the ashton manual but forgot and i personally havent taken them while weaning off benzos.

 

i have experience with Prozac in the past. its my go to when i feel im going to start falling off a cliff emotionally. it indeed stops me from bottoming out, but thats all it does and then i end up with apathy again and not able to smile. for me, its effective in certain situations but not every situation

 

[[Sc...]]

Does anyone have a real problem expressing themselves?  I have had this symptom somewhat before the withdrawal but it is worse now.  I can't exactly figure how to express myself and everything I say seems difficult to get out and confusing.  I also, what to talk or text to people and I just go blank.  I don't know what to say and it's a real effort to communicate and I have real issues expressing emotions.  It's like I really want to tell someone I care about that I love them but I just can't do it.  I was told I have Asperger's at one point but I don't know if it's really been life long depression and complicated by taking benzos for so many years.

 

I just have always felt like a alien and it's like the wires in my brain work at random times and then shut off most of the time and cut me out of interaction.  Sorry I know this is rambling but I am hoping when I get off these meds if I don't in fact really have Autism things will clear up for me

Yes, exactly as you expressed. As a matter of fact it's happening right now. I'm struggling to reply. I've had poor cognition for awhile, but what I think you're describing started  for me when my Derealization symptoms started. It's like there is a break on & I can't reach out & takes much effort to gather thoughts-I've also, just gone blank on things I should absolutely know & or sometimes, someone will be speaking to me & im just watching them & cant take in what they are saying. Poor cognition & DR for me.

 

Can't speak to the autism.

 

Your Brain has been put through much.

I sure hope things clear up for all of us.

You didn't ramble.

Take care

SC