Jump to content
Important Survey - Please Participate ×

Feeling stupid/ blanking out when trying to read watch TV


[Ol...]

Recommended Posts

 

I have been having this weird phenomena for a while. I know its fueled by the anxiety but its very odd. I will be reading or watching something and it feels like I ..dont understand whats being said. IT almost feels like an OCD response where I feel compelled to hyperfocus on a word/ feel like it has no meaning. Its a bunch of mini anxiety attacks where I am constantly self-doubting my ability to comprehend. Not so much racing thoughts, but triggered worry over new information.  The solace I usually get from just relaxing from reading a book or watching TV makes me feel anxious and to be honest, like a idiot. I will be reading these posts and it feels like every other word I read I get "stuck on them" (almost like when you say a word ten times and the word doesnt feel like a word anymore) and in the moment it feels like the words are EMPTY.

 

Rationally I know my Benzo taper hasnt destroyed my language abilities but I sometimes worry about the future of my ability to comprehend. I have been avoiding everything from watching TV, to having conversations because I will "blank out " during them which makes me less inclined to be around other people. ITs like words/ conversations, TV is always too overstimulating, like Ive created some panicky trigger. At first it was scientific articles and really intellectual books I shyed away from but now its EVERYTHING. Feel so isolated and every time I get up I just feel hopeless because the whole day is just going to be me trying to get through conversations and panic through watching movies that I would normally love.

 

I have coping strategies for my physical anxiety (meditation, swimming, warm baths) but with this one I feel 1)  my comprehension dysfunction is all encompassing and embarassing, and 2)have not talked to anyone who had a similar issue. 3)i dont want my only coping strategy to be avoiding human contact and media for the rest of my taper/ withdrawal.

 

Anyone experience this? OR cope with it? With the other anxiety stuff I have found solace in common stories, but this is a whole different ball game.....

 

 

HAs anyone has this experience before?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh yes, I've had similar feelings. I am an English teacher and the other day said something that was totally wrong - I u - sed the wrong word, I said "I'll be back in a middle"! It's weird and I try to be more aware of what I am going to say.

Stick in there and remember the only way out is through.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think this is not so unusual.  Uncomfortable, yes.  I def use wrong words.  I have an English degree and am very good with word use and meaning.  It’s a cognitive blip.  It will pass.  Also, ocd type habits happen in withdrawal.  Brain loops.  You can go easy on yourself.  Maybe do activities that encourage that part of brain function, but aren’t too challenging.  Puzzles.  Sequencing games.  Very easy reads.  Just to exercise that sleepy part of your brain.  You’ll be ok. 
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Oliveritas,

 

Sounds like you're experiencing cognitive fog which is very common in withdrawal.  I definitely felt like word retrieval and my ability to process information were blunted by benzos and in benzo withdrawal.  One of the happy signs of recovery for me has been the gradual. return of vocabulary I thought was lost. My sense is it will only get better as the brain heals

 

Take care,

Brighterday

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Oliveritas,

 

Sounds like you're experiencing cognitive fog which is very common in withdrawal.  I definitely felt like word retrieval and my ability to process information were blunted by benzos and in benzo withdrawal.  One of the happy signs of recovery for me has been the gradual. return of vocabulary I thought was lost. My sense is it will only get better as the brain heals

 

Take care,

Brighterday

So to clarify, you took ativan daily for ten years-can't remember dose in your sig?

 

Then you crossed to klonopin dose? Direct full cross over or dose for dose cross?

 

Then you were able to taper off klonopin in 5 weeks?

 

Are you in paws?

 

What was taper like?

 

How are you now?

 

I need to update my sig, sorry. Hard time ASAP. I posted 2 different posts in withdrawl support if you want to look at about my current situation & Meds, doses-think it said Dissaciation in my title thanks.

SC

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

I have been having this weird phenomena for a while. I know its fueled by the anxiety but its very odd. I will be reading or watching something and it feels like I ..dont understand whats being said. IT almost feels like an OCD response where I feel compelled to hyperfocus on a word/ feel like it has no meaning. Its a bunch of mini anxiety attacks where I am constantly self-doubting my ability to comprehend. Not so much racing thoughts, but triggered worry over new information.  The solace I usually get from just relaxing from reading a book or watching TV makes me feel anxious and to be honest, like a idiot. I will be reading these posts and it feels like every other word I read I get "stuck on them" (almost like when you say a word ten times and the word doesnt feel like a word anymore) and in the moment it feels like the words are EMPTY.

 

Rationally I know my Benzo taper hasnt destroyed my language abilities but I sometimes worry about the future of my ability to comprehend. I have been avoiding everything from watching TV, to having conversations because I will "blank out " during them which makes me less inclined to be around other people. ITs like words/ conversations, TV is always too overstimulating, like Ive created some panicky trigger. At first it was scientific articles and really intellectual books I shyed away from but now its EVERYTHING. Feel so isolated and every time I get up I just feel hopeless because the whole day is just going to be me trying to get through conversations and panic through watching movies that I would normally love.

 

I have coping strategies for my physical anxiety (meditation, swimming, warm baths) but with this one I feel 1)  my comprehension dysfunction is all encompassing and embarassing, and 2)have not talked to anyone who had a similar issue. 3)i dont want my only coping strategy to be avoiding human contact and media for the rest of my taper/ withdrawal.

 

Anyone experience this? OR cope with it? With the other anxiety stuff I have found solace in common stories, but this is a whole different ball game.....

 

 

HAs anyone has this experience before?

 

wow, almost feels like you stepped into my skin and stepped out to write this. thats what brought me to the dr and to this board. i hear you loud and clear and the citizens of this board have assured me it will pass in time. how much time? it differs for everyone, but you will recover in time.

 

how do i deal with it? i read the success stories and go back to the posts where people told me what i was feeling was normal for benzos. i try to stay away from social situations both work related and in my private life unless i feel confident. i can deal mostly with people i already know but new people create a lot of anxiety and i try to avoid. i dont plan on doing this forever but i need this right now as i deal with getting my brain back. with work i try to speak as concise as possible and navigate the convo to someone else.

 

being brain dead at work sucks and really scares me. i just take it day by day and try to tell myself, "its ok, you have come this far essentially with a handicap (benzo brain), imagine when you get your brain back how much better you will be"

 

you have come to the right place. keep coming around. lots of good people with various experiences here

Link to comment
Share on other sites

thank you, that was all very helpful. Its just hard to navigate what to do. I will be watching, anything, kids movie, law & order. I hear the words but they seem alien to me. It started with music lyrics, then tv, and now even conversations I have I blank out (as I call it). Just having a conversation is anxious provoking. I dont know how to tell me family that I dont understand what they are saying even though if I am asked about it afterwards I can remember most of what was said. ITs like everytime I watch or listen to something my defenses go up and my thinking and listening makes the words seem empty. I know it will pass but knowing I stil have two months to taper and then god knows how long after that it is rough when even having a conversation with your family is disorienting/ stress inducing.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...