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The Awakening


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The Awakening

 

A time comes in your life when you finally get it . . . When in the midst of

all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the

voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or

struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind

tantrum,your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink

back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the

world through new eyes. This is your awakening.

 

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to

change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next

horizon.You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and

you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always

fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee

of"happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process a sense of

serenity is born of acceptance.

 

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will

always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are . . . and that's

OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the

importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense of

new found confidence is born of self-approval.You stop complaining and

blaming other people for the things they did to you(or didn't do for you)

and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say

and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always

about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself

and in the process a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

 

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they

are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the

process a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.You realize

that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a

result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your

psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how

you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what

you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and

where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should

marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and

raising children or what you owe your parents.

 

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you

begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand

for.You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to

discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have

bought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with your

instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that

there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop

maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

 

Your learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the

outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the

foundation upon which you must build a life.

 

You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the

world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish

between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries

and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you

choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

 

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how

much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn

not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn

that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or

important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.

 

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would

have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.You

learn that just as people grow and change so it is with love . . . and you

learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms just to

make you happy.

 

And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely . . . And you look in the

mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a

perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head

and agonizing over how you "stack up." You also stop working so hard at

putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

 

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK ... and that it is

your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that

sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

 

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with

love,kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And,

you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with

his touch . . . and in the process you internalize the meaning of

self-respect.

 

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care of

it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking

more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue

diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time

to rest.

 

And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more

time to laugh and to play. You learn, that for the most part, in life you

get what you believe you deserve . . . and that much of life truly is a

self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that

wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it

happen.

 

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need

direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it

all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only

thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time. FEAR

itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know

that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give

away the right to live life on your terms.

 

And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a

cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't

always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen

to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to

personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to

answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with

evil in its most primal state -- the ego. You learn that negative feelings

such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they

will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds

you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of

walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple

things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth

can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm

bed,a long hot shower.

 

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you

make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle

for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your

window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep

smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

 

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a

stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to

as best as you can.

 

- Unknown

__________________

 

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well it is kinda long - i had a much shorter version of something like that i my fridge for years.

 

those realities hit me - and then later they hit me again and each time they come deeper and more acceptance on a global level grows w/in me.

 

funny the less time i have left on this earth the more accepting i am of somethings and less less i am of other things - i was pretty dramatic when i was young - now i am more firmly planted.

 

my exterior moods look similar - but i get it much better now - w/o the resentment/heartache.

 

what disappoints me is this - some people get it way earlier then i did - so just how much time did i waste trying to figure things out.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I was thrilled to find the Awakening.  I posted it on another board years ago and lost since lost it during various and sundry computer changes.

 

Thanks for posting this.

 

juleswife

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  • 4 weeks later...

OMG! I have never read anything like that before. It really touched me deep inside. I know there are changes going on inside of me just now - just small ones - but I am very slowly beginning to try to stop hating myself. A big step in a habit I have formed over the years where I have literally kicked the shit out of myself. I'm 35 this year and feel like I am really just a little kid learning about the way the world really works and not just the messed up way I've seen it. I survived suicide 8weeks ago now and I am starting to realise I am SOOO glad I did and am now slowly building up my confidence again. I think I am having an 'awakening' of some sort.  ::) Or as Eljay calls it an ephiphony!!?  ;)

 

Only a month or 2 more and I will be benzo free -  :yippee:

 

Thank you for posting it TC - I will print it out and keep it safe.

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  • 2 months later...
I wonder how many other gems like this are in old posts?  I have never seen this before and am so glad you posted it, TS.  :)
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  • 11 months later...
  • 2 years later...
I came across this delight tonight and want to bring it to the attention of interested BB Members.  I wish my printer was working.
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How happy we would be....if we could just wake up and start living our lives with love, honor, respect, and purpose.
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Wow, that was great, thanks for bringing it up through the years. I think I'm going to print that out too. It would be nice to remember all of that everyday. Great wisdom.  :smitten:
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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

Posted in 2008 and still so true in 2011!

I have been  hidding the emotional pain of my ife, my marriage, my self image behind the pills. Its time to let go, feeling the pain but also the joy of living. A journey back to the true self! :smitten:

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