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No control of your emotions


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Do you feel out of control with your emotions taper down benzo? I feel like a roller-coaster! My emotions can some day be totally

out of control. Things I have been swept under the rug for years is coming back and it makes me feel a lot of pain and sadness. Some days I get triggered by so small things and can burst out in tears etc. I haven't felt like myself for many years. I feel very weak and cling on to persons because it feels like I'm alone in the sea. Is this common that you acting crazy while quitting benzo after many years on them? I feel very crazy some days.

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Yes to all of this. If you haven't, read the Ashton manual. It's a free download. Dr Ashton describes this in detail. I felt so relieved when I saw that I wasn't the only one who felt this way. Vivid memories keep coming back to me and Dr Ashton says it's because the benzos limited our coping mechanisms and covered over things and now we have to let the brain heal and this is all part of that.
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I feel this way.  Needy.  I can't self-soothe (as therapists say).  I seem to need constant reassurance from others.  And I do cry at weird stuff.  I picked up a handmade facemask a few days ago, for example, and realized that an elderly woman had carefully sewn it together using pipe cleaners and coffee filters and hair bands....and scribbled instructions on a little card that came with the mask.  I can't be certain it was an elderly lady who made this mask from her bunker, but I thought of my grandma and just burst out crying.  It takes a lot of effort to be around others in a social setting because I'm trying to conceal the fact that I'm on an emotional rollercoaster.  Hope that is reassuring.

 

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Professor Ashton talked about some of these issues.

Intrusive memories. A fascinating symptom in patients undergoing benzodiazepine withdrawal is that they often mention the occurrence of what seem to be intrusive memories. Their minds will suddenly conjure up a vivid memory of someone they have not thought about or seen for years. Sometimes the other person's face will appear when looking in the mirror. The memory seems uncalled for and may recur, intruding on other thoughts. The interesting thing about these memories is that they often start to occur at the same time that vivid dreams appear; these may be delayed until one or more weeks after the dosage tapering has started. Since recent sleep research indicates that certain stages of sleep (REMS and SWS) are important for memory functions, it is likely that the dreams and the memories are connected. In both cases the phenomena may herald the beginning of a return in normal memory functions and, although sometimes disturbing, can be welcomed as a sign of a step towards recovery.

 

Poor memory and concentration are also features of benzodiazepine withdrawal, and are probably due to continued effects of the drug. Mentors should be prepared to repeat encouragements again and again, week after week, as their words are soon forgotten.

 

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Yes to all of this. If you haven't, read the Ashton manual. It's a free download. Dr Ashton describes this in detail. I felt so relieved when I saw that I wasn't the only one who felt this way. Vivid memories keep coming back to me and Dr Ashton says it's because the benzos limited our coping mechanisms and covered over things and now we have to let the brain heal and this is all part of that.

 

I have started reading the manual and I have read some other post here about what happens in the brain and this is very comforting that this is common when you have with drawl from benzo! We are not alone in this!!

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I feel this way.  Needy.  I can't self-soothe (as therapists say).  I seem to need constant reassurance from others.  And I do cry at weird stuff.  I picked up a handmade facemask a few days ago, for example, and realized that an elderly woman had carefully sewn it together using pipe cleaners and coffee filters and hair bands....and scribbled instructions on a little card that came with the mask.  I can't be certain it was an elderly lady who made this mask from her bunker, but I thought of my grandma and just burst out crying.  It takes a lot of effort to be around others in a social setting because I'm trying to conceal the fact that I'm on an emotional rollercoaster.  Hope that is reassuring.

 

It's the same here! I can cry of just thinking about something from my past and some days I see pictures in my head from events from years ago and start to cry. And some days I feel totally calm before the storm starts again! But I read what happens in the brain while quitting benzo and it really feels like with I read there - that it's like a wave all of the sudden is hitting you and then the roller coaster starts again. It's very hard to be social when this happens, yes. People have no idea of the insane emotion show that's going on inside you :sick:

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[61...]
Yes, 100%. It's pretty normal and expected of benzo withdrawal, unfortunately. It's almost like PTSD. I've always said the antidote to benzo withdrawal is more benzos. But we all know where that lands us. The withdrawal itself is a massive GABA rebound, it's like taking a giant weight off of a spring. GABA is pretty universal in the brain so it effects our thinking in many ways. I get pretty intrusive thoughts too. You are definitely not alone.
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