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[46...]

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[46...]
please read my intro and message me. im one of the worst ones the one you fear becoming. please help me
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Hey boymom, what’s going on? I read your intro post, I’m so sorry you are having a very difficult time.
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[4d...]

Hi!

 

I'm sorry that you're feeling so lousy.  From the list of drugs, your poor body/mind has been thru a lot.  In my time in this forum, I've only seen that kind of hard-core detox approach work once.  Far more often it leaves people in the situation that you find yourself in.

 

You'll be OK.  It'll probably take some time, but you'll get thru this.  Try to not second guess past treatments and experiences as that kind of thinking tends to add to anxiety.  No guilt trips about your son or husband.  It's a time to take care of yourself.  When that's finished, you can ease back in to caring for others.

 

See if you can create some calm in your life.  Focus on positives.  Avoid drama/stress.  I stopped watching the news for some months as it would rev me up.  Don't ruminate negative thinking as it can become habit-forming.  Believing that you are the worst 1% is an example of negative thinking, fwiw.  When those kinds of negative thoughts arise, see if you can find a calming project or task to do - something non-stressful to occupy your mind.  I recall sorting screws, nuts, bolts for an entire day once.  Very calming/therapeutic and now they're all sorted.

 

I'm glad you're doing therapy.  I did and I really felt it accelerated my recovery.  My first therapist also used EMDR.  You might want to also ask about tapping.  It's a form of EMDR you can do yourself when you find the need.

 

While I wouldn't wish this experience on my worst enemy, it often results in people experiencing some incredible growth in their patience, compassion and forgiveness.  You'll get your body and mind back.  Just be patient - healing can't be forced, it must be accepted as it comes.  During my recovery, there were times that I was literally on my knees (I felt so bad).  Today, I shot the best golf round of my life.  Healing happens.

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  • 4 weeks later...
[46...]
i dont know if i can and i dont jnow why....maybe its the trauma. the awful mental symptoms...the loss? i dont know what to do. i mean this will always he my story ow. the mom who went nuts
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Hi boymom,

 

It would be great if you could create a signature with some information about your benzo history, that way other members can see where you are in your journey without having to go back and read through your posts.  Here are the instructions:  Add your history/signature 

 

If you need help doing this let us know and we can do it for you as long as you put your details here.

 

Pamster

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Hi boymom

 

I couldn’t find your intro. 

 

I can hear you’re suffering.  I don’t know what happened or how you got to this place.  I do know that you will not always be there.  I know it’s hard to believe.  But you will heal.  You are not nuts.  You’re recovering.  It’s very difficult.  But you are and will heal. 

 

If I knew more, I could offer more support.  Can you possibly create a signature of your benzo experience, doses and when was the last time? 

 

People care.  We feel your struggle.  We want you to heal. 

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I suggest finding a good psychologist for therapy  and yes, getting the Ashton manual for info about physical symptoms and tapering but also get the Powers manual from Amazon for a whole lot of down to earth suggestions about getting back to life and getting your head out of your endless symptoms and into planning for the day when you will be working and loving your son and recognizing everybody and being NORMAL again. It can and will happen if you start devoting a few minutes a day of yes (even pretending) that you are moving in that direction. Seriously, you can't live in the disease. You must take some looks forward to the days when you WILL get better.
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Please, please read "What Is Happening in Your Brain" which is pinned to the top of this forum. It helped me so much and psychologically made tapering easier.

 

From a 65-year-old: 41 is so young! I know you don't believe it (I didn't - gulp, 24 years ago) but it truly is. You have so many Acts in your life to come, and things will be good again. This Act is called: Just Heal.

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