How I got here

[[Re...]]

In March 2019 I began having sleep issues.  Which I never had before in my life. I could always sleep as much as I wanted to whenever and wherever. I never had taken anti anxiety or anti depressants though I do believe I had some post partum with both kids.  I can imagine it was due to stress from working full time having 2 kids including a new baby that didn’t like to sleep through the night along with marital issues.  My friend let me have some of her Ativan. This immediately solved my problem and I could sleep just like I used to. I then went to my doctor and easily got an rx for it-1 mg before bed. Some times I took more if I couldn’t sleep - never more than 2 mg. Never did I ever think this would ruin my life like it did! 

Within 2 weeks of taking I couldn’t sleep without it. I then needed more to get the same effect- whike taking it for close to 9 months things kept getting worse and worse. I wasn’t sleeping, irritable and anxious- not myself. I had no enjoyment in life and still wasn’t sleeping. I had been to a therapist with no success.  I then self tapered and started CBTI along with trialing anxiety meds that didn’t work at all.  I have been free of Ativan for about 7 months but still am not back to “normal”.  I can’t believe the long term affects I am having from this and I joined to talk to others to see what I can expect to make it easier to cope through this awful recovery process.  I feel like one minute I am better then I have a major setback. I just want to be back to 100% again!

[[Ch...]]

Hi Recoverer24.

 

Sorry to hear this happened to you, it is a common story if knowing this is any reassurance. Benzodiazepines are powerful drugs and can cause changes to the brain and body quickly, as you noticed when, after short term use, you needed more to get the same effect.  After awhile on a benzodiazepine, one is often left with a dependency and no therapeutic effects.

 

The good news is that with time your brain will heal and you’ll feel more and more like your old self. It may help to chat here with others who are still recovering, so let me give you a link to the Recovery board:

 

Post-withdrawal Recovery Support 

 

Other members replying to your posts generally prefer to know where you are in the process, so here’s how to add your benzodiazepine information automatically to your posts: go to Profile, then Forum Profile, write your pertinent info (benzodiazepine, dose, taper history) in the text box and save. Thanks! Let us know if you need help with this.

 

Take care,

Challis 

 

The Ashton Manual is a comprehensive and highly regarded free online resource about benzodiazepine use, withdrawal and recovery. If you’re not familiar with it we recommend having a look.

[[kr...]]

Hi Recoverer24.

your story sounds like mine..  my nightmare began 4/8/20..  Just awful that doctors prescribe this poison to healthy productive people with no warning and it destroys their lives..

[[He...]]

Welcome to BB

 

You’ve tapered and are benzo free.    You get up to 6 hours sleep.  All of this is very good news.

 

Your sleep will improve.  You’ve done so many right things.  It takes time.  You’re healing and healing will continue. 

 

Does cbd oil help?  It’s not for everyone.  A naturopath may be very supportive.  While supplements aren’t for everyone, they are helpful for many.  Perhaps look into amino acids for your concerns.  A naturopath can give you some clear ideas about this.  Not addictive and not forever. 

 

 

[[Ji...]]

In short ,

 

 

It’s f’ed you will fell bad, worse than bad , very bad , suicidal ,feel WORSE than suicidal , crazy & suicidal & panicky & agoraphobic & dizzying & SUPER F’ING ANGRY at the same TIME! then ...... you’ll feel numb,ok, content sorta happy, start feeling again almost happy,great relaxed, then you won’t sleep but for some reason by day 3 of no sleep you’ll feel better? Then you will want to know why you fell better WITH NO SLEEP then you’ll really question your sanity! Because you haven’t slept but yet you feel better when you don’t sleep!? then you’ll sleep and you will feel WORSE! Then you will REALLY think your loosing TI! In simple terms ITS A MIND F*ck! And there is now way out other than time ,tears, regret apathy, 5 walls ,staring in to blank hopelessness..... but on the flip, we are here with you and that is consistent