Down at the bottom today and no fight left, Is this all withdrawal ?

[[ch...]]

I am down and so very tired of this,

 

I know it's early days yet at 5 months off , but the symptoms are unrelenting and I am getting weaker and weaker,

 

My age is against me I know, and the  lack of refreshing sleep

.

The neuropathy I have seems to be getting worse and each night in bed I feel it worsening ,

 

The noise in my ears is beyond me, and I  am tired out beyond words, 

 

I feel sick and ill, and I haven't  even the energy to fear , yet I feel fear anyway , and it wont let me rest

 

I feel as if it's my end and cannot see how I can go forward though somehow I have to do it

 

My Doctor has written me off I think as suffering anxiety and wont do further blood tests, 

 

I am stuck here hoping I can survive , unable to take AD's as now I react badly and probably not what I need anyway.

 

I cannot even take a quarter of a B complex now without reacting, 

 

All I can do is pray now and look for comfort here in  the hope that I can recover

 

Thank you for listening for all the support you have given me  ,

 

Jen 

[[Tr...]]

Hi Jen,

 

So sorry you're still suffering this much.  :'(

It's awful how things just will not improve. I totally understand your feeling literally so sick and tired of it all.

In a PM you told me "Bristol"  said it might take a couple of months yet before things start to get a little better. Maybe you could hold on to the thought,  you're getting closer to that point with every day you are able to survive.

 

I wish you all the strength you need. I will pray for you.

 

Hold on, dearest Jen.    Fellow sufferer R.

[[ch...]]

Hi Jen,

 

So sorry you're still suffering this much.  :'(

It's awful how things just will not improve. I totally understand your feeling literally so sick and tired of it all.

In a PM you told me "Bristol"  said it might take a couple of months yet before things start to get a little better. Maybe you could hold on to the thought,  you're getting closer to that point with every day you are able to survive.

 

I wish you all the strength you need. I will pray for you.

 

Hold on, dearest Jen.    Fellow sufferer R.

 

 

 

Thank you for your message of support

 

It is so hard to keep holding on with this noise in my head,  way and above the tinnitus I am used to ,  I feel so very ill all the time and tired out , I cannot seem to get any restorative sleep ,

I do not know if the neuropathy is all my withdrawal, I cannot find out more.  it is frightening that it keeps increasing , 

I so long to live again but feel I am fading as at my age I don't have massive reserves of stamina, 

I cannot have a nap , I am  just trying to stay alive a this time ,

Even crying is too much for me now

How can it be that I am so bad  I have no idea, 

 

I can only pray and hope that soon I will feel a lift.

 

Jen

[[...]]

Praying for your comfort and healing every day, Jen!❤️🙏

[[ch...]]

Praying for your comfort and healing every day, Jen!❤️🙏

 

 

Thank you so much

It means a lot,  I cannot think what else to do when this down ,

It's been a long time and I am tired,  but if I can get a little sleep, or something improves I will be able to keep going

I really do want my life back that was taken from me

 

I have to try and remain positive even when at the bottom

 

Jen

[[cl...]]

Hi Jen.

I am so sorry I wish I could offer some advice . 

 

Stay strong the brain is a amazing and it will heal

  I have been to hell and I didn't think I could go on .... it went on for months  .. nearly cost me my job my marriage and my family.... an.. the only think I could do was write my diary of symptoms daily and I could see that even though I was still bad I wasnt as bad as the previous month... so I knew I was getting better.  Then yes a wave comes crashing and its like your back to square one...  its brutal but i did realise that things got better.  Dont listen to the posts about the brian never healing it will dont let benzos beat you.  Sending you good vibes and I truly hope things get better for you x

[[ch...]]

Hi Jen.

I am so sorry I wish I could offer some advice . 

 

Stay strong the brain is a amazing and it will heal

  I have been to hell and I didn't think I could go on .... it went on for months  .. nearly cost me my job my marriage and my family.... an.. the only think I could do was write my diary of symptoms daily and I could see that even though I was still bad I wasnt as bad as the previous month... so I knew I was getting better.  Then yes a wave comes crashing and its like your back to square one...  its brutal but i did realise that things got better.  Dont listen to the posts about the brian never healing it will dont let benzos beat you.  Sending you good vibes and I truly hope things get better for you x

 

 

Thank you for your kind message,

I stopped taking valium on De14th 2019 and  had hoped that it would not get worse, but sadly for me it has, and after so long tapering from a not too long usage of 4mgs valium I was hoping that I wouldn't take too long, but for me it's been

hard and I am old and worn down just now, 

 

I feel a good night's sleep will help and am going to try to see if I can get to sleep early, even if I don't stay asleep ,

 

I prefer not to read the negative threads about not healing, but it's hard to ignore when so down .

 

But not to worry I will brighten again , I am sure ,

 

It been a  long  journey for this little old lady However 

 

I am sure I will get there in the end , 

 

Thank you for kindly taking the time to write,

 

Jen

 

[[cl...]]

Very best wishes to you and I really do feel your pain..  feel your sadness through your words please dont give up? Xx

[[Gr...]]

Chinchuck, I 'm so sorry you are still suffering now.  I'm just curious, what happens when you take a b complex?  I just recently found out that I can tolerate those again, and I'm at 17 months out now.  At 5 months out, I felt pretty bad too.  Hang in there. 

[[ch...]]

Thank you for writing to me, 

 

I know that no one else can take my pain  or me theirs, but it helps  not to feel so alone .

 

I used to be able to take  B complex and did for many years, as well as a multi vitamin.

I tried going  back to using it, as it's known as the stress vitamin, or group of vitamins, and thought it might help.   

However it really ramped up the anxious state I was already in, and not knowing it could do this I panicked and rang the Doctor to check if to was possible ,  she said, "No it wont cause increased symptoms"  Afterwards I checked on here and read that others too have a revving up of their symptoms, 

I wish I could take it as think it might well have helped the neuropathy I am dealing with (Numbness and prickly tingling )  in my hands, face  feet  , arms legs, .  but I seem unable to tolerate even a quarter of a tablet, 

I am thinking I will have to start eating liver,  also wondered about  nutritional yeast, but would that trigger symptoms too

How different life is since taking this drug that I so deeply regret

I am glad you can now take this very useful vitamin complex again ,  It can be of great help in times of stress or so I found before this happened to    ,  I am so sorry to be this down ,  Jen 

 

 

 

 

[[cl...]]

Never apologise for being down.

 

You are not alone

 

 

I am there too.  Every night every fibre of my being wanted to die

 

 

 

I avoid b vitamins like the plague...  2 days ago I had to stop my multi vitamins and my main goal in life is clean eating and trying to get all the vitamins from food.  Omega 3 foods definitely help the brain heal I have studied it a bit.  I had my first breakthrough last night... for the first time in months... my witching hour between 2-4 I didnt want to die and just had normal dreams like a normal human.  Every small improvement I hang on to which keeps me going.  Stay strong

[[ch...]]

Never apologise for being down.

 

You are not alone

 

 

I am there too.  Every night every fibre of my being wanted to die

 

 

 

I avoid b vitamins like the plague...  2 days ago I had to stop my multi vitamins and my main goal in life is clean eating and trying to get all the vitamins from food.  Omega 3 foods definitely help the brain heal I have studied it a bit.  I had my first breakthrough last night... for the first time in months... my witching hour between 2-4 I didnt want to die and just had normal dreams like a normal human.  Every small improvement I hang on to which keeps me going.  Stay strong

 

 

Thank you Claire

 

I am really glad you had normal dreams last night, that is something to hold onto

 

It seems as if B complex is out until recovered, but am glad to read that Green Cup can now take it again, as I used to find it a really useful supplement for me, pre valium, , I wish I had stuck  it and my running instead of this situation , but  I cannot alter the past

 

I really don't know about the multi vitamins,  Again I used to take one each day , the reason being that I am old and unless the diet is perfect  which it wasn't , then I felt I would be down on things ,

 

Certainly until this situation I was not on any medication, even though mid 70's. 

 

I am so glad you are finding omega 3 useful for the brain , and if you can get enough from your food that is great

 

Oh how I took it all for granted before being so damaged by psychotropic drugs,  and now every has to be approached with caution

 

Lets hope we heal in a reasonable time,  I keep hoping that tomorrow will be better , and one day it will be

 

It's hard after so long,  and so very tired ,

 

Thank you for caring

 

Jen

[[cl...]]

Yes I pray it stays that way.

Thanks!

 

Yes I am not sure about the multi vitamins either... I know they are useful and always took them but I stopped them for 2 days just to test and I have improved.  So testing tonight... I need the multi vitamins but I also love not feeling suicidal. 

 

Yes I have found some guy that's really into diet for benzo brain and omega 3 is a biggie...! 

 

Oh I feel you....  I wish I could turn time back so many times that it hurt... my brain was living in the past longing to change it.  It's easy for people to say think positive only way forward but it's not that easy ...  the brain blocks out all happiness and inner peace but it does come back dont let it beat you. I get little moments of happiness and I cling onto it

 

You didnt know the damage benzos cause..  it's not your fault....    I know it's so so hard I really do.

 

Your not that old really...! Its only a number... it's how we feel inside.  It will be better tomorrow !  Every day your are healing even if you dont know it xx

 

[[ch...]]

Yes I pray it stays that way.

Thanks!

 

Yes I am not sure about the multi vitamins either... I know they are useful and always took them but I stopped them for 2 days just to test and I have improved.  So testing tonight... I need the multi vitamins but I also love not feeling suicidal. 

 

Yes I have found some guy that's really into diet for benzo brain and omega 3 is a biggie...! 

 

Oh I feel you....  I wish I could turn time back so many times that it hurt... my brain was living in the past longing to change it.  It's easy for people to say think positive only way forward but it's not that easy ...  the brain blocks out all happiness and inner peace but it does come back dont let it beat you. I get little moments of happiness and I cling onto it

 

You didnt know the damage benzos cause..  it's not your fault....    I know it's so so hard I really do.

 

Your not that old really...! Its only a number... it's how we feel inside.  It will be better tomorrow !  Every day your are healing even if you dont know it xx

 

 

I do hope stopping your multivitamin helps,  I think it all a matter of chance as some can take most anything and others react to everything, 

 

it's probably genetics and how badly we have been damaged.  It might well be best to stay clear of most things until recovered. It's sad though, when you cannot even risk a multivitamin tablet.

 

I have some high quality omega 3 oil in the house but dare not take it now,  I feel lost really.

 

The  day I entered the Doctor's life was the day my life as I have known it for over 70 years, was taken from me ,

 

That takes some getting used to.

 

Especially if I have be to hypervigilant about any necessary medication etc  probably for the rest of my life,

Of course this may not be the case, I wont know till I get there.

 

I see others on the success board who go on to have full lives and I try to stay focused on that, as best I can

 

I just have to stay super fit and not need anything , just as I didn't before the prescribed psychotropics, 

 

Once I am further along, I might well be able to take the omega 3  as in truth it's hard these days to get fish that is not in some way contaminated by pollution of the ocean and waterways ,  A sad reflection on life, 

 

I think flax seed contains it but it also makes me  a little too regular,

 

If I can get back my health, I have every intention of going back to my running  as  a way to deal with life , and never ever touch this class of drug again. I do hope that is not ruled out as overstimulating as it gave me great pleasure in the past. I only stopped as I had an accident and broke my knee in 2 places,  I was told not to run again as it would hasten the need for a new knee, but that was over 10 years back and my knee is fine,  I kept my shoes and intend to use them again

 

This has been a major lesson for me,  that I need to do my own research before I put anything in my mouth,

and  a tablet is not always the way to go.

 

I lost my way and paid so dearly for it . I am so very sorry to be this down  but I will climb up again with time and healing.

 

That people care mean so much to me, beyond  words , 

 

Thank you Claire

 

 

 

 

[[cl...]]

Sorry jen it looked like I was advertising someone there but it was just a info site like ashton method anyway I took it away just in case I  get into trouble!

 

Well I took my multi vitamin with dinner... mood still ok not gone crazy but by gawd wish the cold legs would go away.  Is there bad review with omega 3?

 

Something strange has happened the past 2 days I have stopped craving carbs and chocolate... I was like this since the week I jumped off..  I craved chocolate like mad... I read somewhere that it's to do with low serotonin.. not sure but it cant be a coincidence that my mood has improved and no longer crave junk ... fingers crossed

 

Dont beat yourself up so much... on on earth could you know that a common drug used by millions of people.. can cause so much damage... not your fault!!

You will run in these shoes again!!  You will get your health back !

 

I care cause I have been there pure and simple and I wouldn't wish this pain on my worse enemy..