Can not make a decision

[[Yo...]]

I am 8 weeks off benzo and antidepressiva. I had take 5 years xanax and imipramine.Worst sleeping. But last 3 nights i slept without benzo. Wake up a lot. But my worst enemy are vibrations. I dont know what to do. 1 stop taking benzo. 2 my psyhiatrist adviced to take citalopram and oxazepam.He says i have anxiety  but i dont have anxiety anymore and i am not depressed. He denied that the vibrations are not from stopping benzo.  I dont think the citalopram will take away the vibrations. 3 start taking benzo again. And take more time to gett off. I had taken 4 months getting off benzo. But i dont think startin again will stop the vibrations. I am so desperate. I think my brains are dameged for ever and the vibrations will not go away anymore. The vibrations are in my chest belly and legs a litte in my arm. Feel like burning also left in my belly. Hypertensions hypotensions and tired.Help!!!

[[Ca...]]

Hi Yollie, and Welcome..

 

Yes, it does all sound like withdrawal (WD) symptoms (SX), and fits with your time frame of being off the medications... It sure can be pretty nasty for a while, -sorry to say...

 

It would be great if you can somehow manage to make it through this without adding medications in an attempt to ease the symptoms as it often complicates and prolongs the process...

 

But if you find you really cant, and are prepared to accept the risks, a low dose reinstatement may (or may not) help ease things a little bit.. 

Personally I would think of that as a last resort, and would look into the idea a lot more before making such a choice...

 

From what I have seen, most people do best with non-medication “tools” such as meditation type things and deep breathing, combined with things to distract us from the suffering.. In time things start to get better, bit by bit... 

 

Sending you strength, and I hope others drop by here to fill in any gaps in what I wrote (or didnt write)...

I hope all is well in Holland..

 

[[Tr...]]

You are already 8 weeks off, why would you want to go back on the meds after all this time and risk getting more sick? Could you live with that? Going back on the meds is not a good idea. I’d stick it out and allow the body to heal itself from the damage the meds did. Going back is like taking poison all over again.

[[sh...]]

Yollie,

You do not have to take Citalopram if you feel uneasy about it, you can discuss it with your doctor. I am sure your doctor have good intention but at this point getting used to Citalopram can cause side effects similar to your benzodiazepine withdrawal effects. Usually the first 6 weeks of antidepressant introduction cause unpleasant symptoms to many so psychiatrists prescribe benzodiazepines to balance out those unpleasant sensations and experiences during the introductory period . I took Citalopram 10 mg and I had side effects I could absolutely not handle it, even half of that those.

Dr. Heather Ashton in the Ashton Manual discusses the use of antidepressants for benzodiazepine witdrawal symptoms and she does not recommend antidepressants unless the patient has depression.

She recommends psychological revaluation of a patient after 6 months off of the last dose as withdrawal symptoms and anxiety/panic disorder symptoms over lap and very difficult to sort them out. Doctors often mix up withdrawal symptoms with the return of (initial psychological symptoms such as anxiety) symptoms and immediately start prescribing usual treatment such as antidepressants.

You can share your worries with your doctor and ask for time to see how you do without the antidepressant and reconsider.

You have been doing an incredible job believe in yourself, believe to your body. The doctors just follow protocols based on what they believe it is wrong with you. If the diagnosis is wrong the treatment is wrong.

Wishing you the best on the road to full recovery!

[[Yo...]]

Hi Yollie, and Welcome..

 

Yes, it does all sound like withdrawal (WD) symptoms (SX), and fits with your time frame of being off the medications... It sure can be pretty nasty for a while, -sorry to say...

 

It would be great if you can somehow manage to make it through this without adding medications in an attempt to ease the symptoms as it often complicates and prolongs the process...

 

But if you find you really cant, and are prepared to accept the risks, a low dose reinstatement may (or may not) help ease things a little bit.. 

Personally I would think of that as a last resort, and would look into the idea a lot more before making such a choice...

 

From what I have seen, most people do best with non-medication “tools” such as meditation type things and deep breathing, combined with things to distract us from the suffering.. In time things start to get better, bit by bit... 

 

Sending you strength, and I hope others drop by here to fill in any gaps in what I wrote (or didnt write)...

I hope all is well in Holland..

[[Yo...]]

Ik ben diazepam 5 mg gaan slikken  2x p dag. maar voel klein beetje verlichting. Wel 4 nachten kunnen slapen zonder medicatie. Wel veel wakker. Wordt zwetend en heel erg nerveus wakker. Baal dat ik diazepam moet slikken.

[[pi...]]

Ik ben diazepam 5 mg gaan slikken  2x p dag. maar voel klein beetje verlichting. Wel 4 nachten kunnen slapen zonder medicatie. Wel veel wakker. Wordt zwetend en heel erg nerveus wakker. Baal dat ik diazepam moet slikken.

]

 

Google translate:

 

I'm going to swallow diazepam 5 mg 2x p day. but feel little relief. Up to 4 nights can sleep without medication. A lot of waking up. Wakes up sweating and very, very nervous. Hate for having to swallow diazepam.

 

Yollie,

 

Since this is an English speaking forum would you mind using Google Translate? I know it is difficult to communicate in a language you are not comfortable with, especially while going through withdrawal.

 

Let me try to understand, did you take a 'rescue' dose of diazepam?

 

This is not uncommon, if you did this, many people have tried to find some relief this way. The relief sometimes does not happen. That is why it's best to avoid doing this, lest you go down the path to dependence once again.

 

This is hard and the symptoms can be difficult to deal with, knowing others have experienced them can help, it did for me. I had the massive sweating as well when early off benzos.

 

Keep posting, we'll try to help.

 

pianogirl 

[[Ca...]]

Hi Yollie..

 

Yes, pls do keep posting here.. We will try to make it work, hopefully without adding too much pressure on you.. Your Brave to try, despite it being hard..

Do you read english enough to understand what we reply with, or do you need to translate our writing to you..?

 

Im not quite sure what you meant in what Pianogirl kindly translated, but I wonder if your talking about how long the help from taking the tablets lasts for..? We call this “therapeutic effect”, and it relates to a medications “half life”.. Diazepam/Valium has a long half life, so a single dose can have an effect for several days..  At one stage I was dosing once every 5 or 6 days, but they were high doses and it was not good for me, but I just didnt know what was going on, -I just kept going from sick to very, very sick... All the symptoms of a very nasty flu...

 

Either steady daily doses, or no doses seem to work best, -depending on where a person is in the discontinuation process.. For you, at 8 weeks off both meds and a fairly quick taper, what you are feeling is pretty normal for many people.. Its very hard, but you will start to feel better as your body adjusts while having no medications affecting it..

Im sorry that you have to go through this process, and hope that it doesnt last too long.. Its survival time.. I found things like warm baths, lots of little sleeps in a dark cool room, small meals more often, and belly breathing helped..

 

 

 

[[Yo...]]

Yes i started diazepam again. 2 x 5 mg. But it does not help much. I think i will stop again because i do not want go to thru a hard time again. I am so afraid because i read on benzobuddies that this can take a long time. And i am so angry with my psyhiatrist. He denied that this is not from stopping benzo. He sys i have anxiety but i dont have that anymore. I am so desperate. Some people says good job that i have stop taking benzo and advice me not taking anymore. Other people and 3 psyhiatrist wants me to start again and also staring antidepressive. I am not depressive. And i dont have anxiety anymore. My bloodpressure is very high. The doctor can not control it. If i fell asleep for 2 or 3 hours i wake up very nervous and sweating. I nearly can function. I want to go to work again. I have less energy and i want to go out again. Dance with my friends. But i am afraid if i come home late i will not sleep. Now i go to lay down in my bed 21.00 o clock. Try to ligh down and not move. Sometimes i fell a sleep at one. Mostly i wake up 3.30. Sweating nervous and vibrations starting for the whole day. Sorry for my bad englisch. I try hard to explain. I live in Holland. I am 57. Happily married. My husband had a cva 5 years ago. I got in panic. The doctor describe me benzo. After that i got anxiety and went depressive. Very quick i could not sleep anymore. I was not long depressive but the psyhiatrist did not stop giving me benzo and antidepressiva. They also gave me antipsyhotoca. And they try a lot of  benzos.  Oxazepam lorazepam xanan. And differant antidepressiva. Citalopram sertraline lithium imipramine. More but i forget how many. They wanted to give me a heavier antidepressive and i said no. No longer. This is to crazy and then i begged to take me off the drugs. Once i did not sleep for 2 months and i was so desparate that i took an overdosis. I got very agressive too from i dont know which drug. Trying to kill my husband. I had fight a lot with him. I am so happy he recovered from his cva 95%. It is amazing because he was handicap. Could not walk and talk. Now he is doing ok. But now i am suffering. I lost my job because of the anxiety 2 years ago.i want to be normal again. But i am afraid this a long hard way . I think it is the best not taking any drugs dgain. Sometimes my heart beats that i think it wil stop but i notice this is a normal symptom getting of drugs. Tell me do i take the right dicision or do i have to start benzo lightly again. I dont want to go trie a hard long time again. Please help..  :

[[Ca...]]

Wow, sorry you have had such a rough time in many different ways..!!

 

I too think it would be great to see you remain medication free and let your body get back to its normal balance.. -Though I cant speak to the high blood pressure, others may be able to help on that subject...

Things might be hard for a while, and it can take some serious sacrifice from the things we want or enjoy, but its worth it in the end...

 

You can do this, -Best wishes..

 

 

[[Yo...]]

Hi Yollie, and Welcome..

 

Yes, it does all sound like withdrawal (WD) symptoms (SX), and fits with your time frame of being off the medications... It sure can be pretty nasty for a while, -sorry to say...

 

It would be great if you can somehow manage to make it through this without adding medications in an attempt to ease the symptoms as it often complicates and prolongs the process...

 

But if you find you really cant, and are prepared to accept the risks, a low dose reinstatement may (or may not) help ease things a little bit.. 

Personally I would think of that as a last resort, and would look into the idea a lot more before making such a choice...

 

From what I have seen, most people do best with non-medication “tools” such as meditation type things and deep breathing, combined with things to distract us from the suffering.. In time things start to get better, bit by bit... 

 

Sending you strength, and I hope others drop by here to fill in any gaps in what I wrote (or didnt write)...

I hope all is well in Holland..

[[Ma...]]

I was polydrugged and I think I had almost every symptom I have read on this hole board. The inner vibrations - oh I still remember them. Citalopram withdrawal. Very nice (not).

To stop several meds is tough on your body, but it can recover. I am now a new person, I can feel, I can be creative, I have access to my real self and all the things good in/on me. Under meds, I did not feel good. And they did not help. I am glad I stopped all of them, - but this is just my experience and opinion. All I wanna say is - one can be polydrugged and feel good after being med free. It takes some time, but it was worth it, for me.

[[Ca...]]

Hi Yollie..

I hope you are feeling a bit better today, and some sleep helps...

 

Thanks for the personal messages (PM’s), but sorry I havnt replied while im not feeling so great..

Its probably safer that you post questions on the public boards, and it helps others to help you by knowing you and your situation better... (also most of your messages didnt translate to english..)

 

Im glad you decided to hold on without adding more medications, from what you wrote, your Dr doesnt seem to have much of an understanding of anything but the standard basics of any withdrawal (the “all over in 2weeks”, and symptoms are “the return of a condition”..)  This is where the “Ashton Manual” can be very helpful, perhaps for both of you...

 

Again, sorry I havnt gotten back to you, but please keep posting here.. Your doing great..!!

Marigold will be a great help too, -She really understands this from many angles (not to exclude others from that too though)..

 

Ill try to catch up more when I feel a bit better (I just did a big % cut in my medication a week ago)...

 

Stay strong and know it will get better in time...

 

[[Pa...]]

Hi Yollie,

 

I got your PM and am glad you know that you don't need any more benzo's, you know our own body and you have the power to control what medications you take.  The vibrations will leave you and you'll know peace again, I suffered like you do and I'm fully recovered.

 

One day you'll be able to go out dancing with your friends again. 

 

Pamster

[[sh...]]

Yollie,

I know it is very scary to go through all these withdrawal symptoms and wanting to get better. While your doctors are telling you to take more drugs and you know that they will not make you feel any better, probably worse. As I can see from your post you have already tried many and understandably you are confused, sick, tired and very scared. The vibrations and everything else you feel means that your body, your central nervous system is adjusting to the changes just happened. It takes time and you are feeling the adjustment. The high bloodpressure could be controlled, there are medications for that such as proplanolol and many others. The best to call a cardiologist if your psychiatrist cannot help, and surely they can examine you. Taking other medications at this point just would confuse you and your central nervous system more. Your psychiatrists follow protocol which is not good, but they all follow the same unless they understand benzodiazepine withdrawal. I wish you strength and confidence. Please let us know how you are doing! Do not worry about feeling needy or boring, you are not bothering anyone. Want to hear from you.

[[Ma...]]

I will respond to your pm here - I receive too many of them.

I had these vibrations non stop and like you, when I did something or changed the position in bed, it even became worse. I would not take a new med on top of the caos, your body already tries to find back into balance. And doctors sadly don't have much knowledge about withdrawal and they have learned how to give meds for symptoms, but in withdrawal those change and so many of them appear. You cannot swallow a pill for each symptom, I think..

The only way for me was to hold on and survive day by day and sometimes minute by minute. In the end the vibrations were gone, like many other symptoms. The "nature" of withdrawal is, that you get symptoms you think you just cannot live with. Keep that in mind. THIS is withdrawal, to think "what? that on top? no, I will not survive, I just cannot LIVE LIKE THAT".

 

You can. You will. And the symptoms will get better. Is it a tough journey? Yes. But so many here, like me, have made it through.

[[Yo...]]

Thank you buddy. I will do my best. Big hug.