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Wanting some support and identification


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I am 10 days off benzo's having been on and off them since I was 13, Im now 51. I have been using them extensively for the last 4 years having suffered simultaneously with very bad clinical depression and two suicide attempts. I also have fibromyalgia. During lockdown I decided to come off them, codeine and sleeping pills. I had been taking diazepam, lorazepam or clonazapam up to 60 mgs a day. I wasn't abusing them or addicted (Im a recovering alcoholic with 25 years sober) but I was aware I couldn't fully feel the grief and loss that I was feeling in my body. I had also completely lost the ability to sleep normally. I just trusted I had got down to a low enough dose which wouldn't require having fits. The withdrawal has been absolute hell. I regularly attend zoom AA meetings but don't feel I can fully share this stuff without being judged, and I know the power of identification and sharing experience strength and hope so Im hoping to get that here.
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Hello Chelsea55, Welcome to BenzoBuddies!

 

Congratulations on being benzo free, I'm sure you wish that meant symptom free as well, but typically, it doesn't.  Not many in AA can understand what happens to those of us who come off of benzo's, the two experiences are light years apart, so you've made a good decision to seek those who understand what you're going through.

 

Have you read  The Ashton Manual, it's a good resource for understanding what you're going through and chapter 3 will list your symptoms and why you feel them.

 

If you'd like to connect with others going through what you are, feel free to post on the Post-withdrawal Recovery Support board.

 

We're glad you found us, we're here to help.

 

Pamster

 

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[37...]

Hi Chelsea55, glad you've joined BenzoBuddies.  Great that you took the opportunity of the lockdown to get free of benzos.  And way to go on 25 years of sobriety!!  Yes, some folks in AA are okay with mentioning other substances but many are not so it is wise to seek support in a realm where you will be understood.  Most of us are pretty fragile during this process so judgement and criticism can be devastating.

 

I hope you'll feel comfortable here and share your needs and your hope in due time.  Best to you and again, a warm welcome to you.

 

Kate  :smitten:

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chelsea55: Feel free to be yourself here - no judgement. You've already made huge strides  for your wellness - that's a thing to be celebrated!

 

Welcome to BB and I hope you feel safe here:)

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