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Is it possible to hate yourself that much ?


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I can actually say this whole experience has made me hate myself and I feel like I don’t deserve anything in life ! It’s crazy !! Every time I have a good day be positive il wake the next day feeling worse !! I’ve deleted pictures of my self because I don’t even know who I am ! I have no confidence ! Please tell me this gets better ?I constantly get headaches and pressure down the two sides of my head and behind my ears is this normal , I feel like something is crushing my head ! Every morning I wake up with a cloud over my head and my eyes burning , My eyes have been very sore since coming off all meds, I can think of things I want to do but cannot physically do them ! So annoying I feel useless ! Nearly a year out and I want to be normal again !
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This is not your fault.

This is NOT your fault.

THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!

 

You deserve love and kindness just as everyone else on the planet does.

 

 

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Withdrawal can be such a dark, dark time.  Our healing brains can cause us to not like what we see in the mirror.  But, it's important to understand it is your benzo brain telling you lies and you can't take what it's telling you to heart.

 

Please, please don't feed the negative looping thoughts - recognize they are not the real YOU.  Many of us have to learn to be as kind and compassionate to ourselves as we are to others.  Sometimes we treat ourselves worse than we would our own worst enemy. We have to learn to leave that in the dust and start to care for ourselves as the wounded patients we are in withdrawal - with gentle kindness and tenderness.

 

So maybe next time you start to get down on yourself, break the circuit and repeat some affirmations. "I am healing.  I love myself.  I deserve self- love."  You can come up with affirmations that work for you.

 

Take care of yourself and cut yourself a break!  :)

Brighterday

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Good advice Brighterday, I need to learn to repeat that 'I am healing' mantra more often.  My brain continually tells me that this is what I will be like for the rest of my life, and with 9 months off benzos it is hard to ignore that voice after so many symptoms causing so much negative reinforcement.

 

Cheers,

        RR

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