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TOXIC FRIEND


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I have a benzo friend who is way behind me in time off and when we met I was doing better and supported him. He also has really bad health anxiety and OCD.

 

He spends lots of Google time and reports dozens of strange and highly medicalized symptoms that are not benzos...then things in his life that are out of order he obsesses about and then does nothing.

 

Since I took the CBD oil I have been really sick for 9 weeks and cant support him and he is not able to support me.

 

I am thinking listening to his bizarre complaints and seeing he does nothing to help himself is making me worse. I like him but I am in the fight for my life now.

 

PS he is a major taker - I talk him down then the next day it starts all over again. He plays the victum so his family gives him more than $5,000 a month so he does not have to work and  he could have

 

All areas of his life are out of control - for instance he sleeps under his mother studio apartment dining table on the floor and says he has been looking for an apartment for 19 months ( which his family says they will pay up to $4,000 a month) His brother gave him a $40,000 Lexus which he has trashed and destroyed and this is just the tip of the iceberg - with my anxiety disorder I hate being out of control and I think being around someone who is totally out of control sets me off.

 

Is this making me worse

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Sorry to hear this.  I would say that anything that stresses you out would make symptoms feel worse.  I did whatever I could to keep my stress levels low when I was going through the withdrawal and recovery process.
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I would have a look on the reason why YOU stick to that person. No judgment,I  have been there...

But it takes 2 for an unhealthy relationship. You have one job to do, - and that is to care for you in order to get yourself through withdrawal and after that you might have to work on a life after benzos and for this life you need stable and good relationships.

I can relate that sometimes the feeling "we are in the same boat - so you understand how I feel" can be helpful but after a while, you might leave that boat again, and you don't have to feel guilty about that at all. I was once in a similar situation, but I moved on with life and finally had a different view on life, while the other person seemed to be stuck and nothing changed at all - and my role was to be there all the time, to listen, - and in the end when I said something about things I achieved - the person even became jealous.

So - it is absolutely okey to practice self-care and self-love and it is necessary, not only in withdrawal, in life. If this cannot be changed with a conversation, you need to move on,.. in my opinion:-)

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It sounds like you know that this person is not healthy for you to be in contact with.

 

He is very lucky but appears to be unappreciative.

 

You know what you need to do to give yourself the best environment for healing, I would take that step and see where things are down the road. 

 

pianogirl  :smitten:

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I have a benzo friend who is way behind me in time off and when we met I was doing better and supported him. He also has really bad health anxiety and OCD.

 

He spends lots of Google time and reports dozens of strange and highly medicalized symptoms that are not benzos...then things in his life that are out of order he obsesses about and then does nothing.

 

Since I took the CBD oil I have been really sick for 9 weeks and cant support him and he is not able to support me.

 

I am thinking listening to his bizarre complaints and seeing he does nothing to help himself is making me worse. I like him but I am in the fight for my life now.

 

PS he is a major taker - I talk him down then the next day it starts all over again. He plays the victum so his family gives him more than $5,000 a month so he does not have to work and  he could have

 

All areas of his life are out of control - for instance he sleeps under his mother studio apartment dining table on the floor and says he has been looking for an apartment for 19 months ( which his family says they will pay up to $4,000 a month) His brother gave him a $40,000 Lexus which he has trashed and destroyed and this is just the tip of the iceberg - with my anxiety disorder I hate being out of control and I think being around someone who is totally out of control sets me off.

 

Is this making me worse

 

In order to help others you need to get stable and strong first. Toxic relationships are dragging people down even if everything else is perfect in their life. Very sorry that you have to make the decision and separate yourself from your friend.

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