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Age started using benzos probably biggest obstacle


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Now that I'm 8 months out, I agree with everybody that the higher the dose, the more severe the withdrawal. I also agree that the length used definitely makes things harder. But the thing I'm starting to think is the biggest problem is the age that you start taking them. Like in my predicament, I started taking them in my mid-teens. The doctor started prescribing huge amounts when I was 17 years old, I had just gotten out of high school. So everything in life is completely new and I have never experienced it while not taking meds. I'm sure I also have an anxiety condition underneath, so basically I have the underlining anxiety condition, never experiencing anything off of meds since my mid-teens, a really high dose for so long, and going cold turkey. So this is like hell. But it's definitely getting better. But the thing is, it's probably going to be years if I had to guess, before I'm better. I don't know what anything feels like or how it's supposed to look or smell or feel. It's all completely new. I wish I had started taking them when I was older and not for so long. It's learning life all over again. It's like I'm a teenager but stuck in a 36 year-old body. It's almost like I'm old and not a teenager sometimes, almost like I'm in my eighties. Because nothing in this world makes any sense. And I don't know why but honestly I feel like I'm smarter than a lot of this world when I turn on the news, which makes me just want to turn it off and be all by myself. I don't want to associate with anybody really other than on the internet. Just my family through text messages and whatever I find on the internet. I just play around on YouTube and the internet all day and go for walks on the beach and that's about it. I don't know how things are going to be in the future, I haven't talked to many people that have completely healed. Just wondered if anybody else was feeling the same way.
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