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I jumped - but now questioning myself.


[CM...]

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After 5 of the worst years a person can live through, I jumped last night at .12mgV.

I’m questioning everything today. Did I jump too early? Should I have went to 0? Is .12mg a good dose to jump from? I can definitely feel I didn’t take it last night. Which blows my mind. I was taking a crumb. Maybe I should take the dose I would have taken last night right now, and taper to 0. So much PTSD from failed tapers before and scared right now.

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Your questioning of your decision is absolutely normal, many have the same fears and concerns, this process has been your companion for a long terrible time.  You have two choices and both of them are reasonable and totally up to you.

 

One: Be done with it and confident in your decision because even if you tapered all the way to zero, you'd still have these fears.

 

Two: Go back on and taper to zero just to make sure you've done all you can.

 

Both of these choices will take you to benzo freedom and eventual peace of mind.  :thumbsup:

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Hi CMZ

 

A case of nerves is common when jumping.  It’s day 1.  How’s the day going so far?  I would ask myself ‘what’s the worst that could happen if ...  I jumped to soon?’.  I think you would know in a few days whether you did.  Some anxiety within reason is ok, right? 

 

You can choose.  As Pamster said, taper off right to zero or stay off now.  Either way is ok and up to you. 

 

Congrats on getting this far!

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I jumped at .13 and my first day off sucked big time but I was committed and my second day was awesome! It’s been up and down since and I am 26 days off but my symptoms are not as high of volume as they use to be. You can do this. Just use all the tools you did in the taper. Accept. Accept. Accept. You are finally FREE! Now true healing & recovery can begin.
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I believe your problem is 100% psychological 0.12 valium come on men a baby doesn't effect by this dose i wish i was in your state i am on 6.5 holding due to defecation issues just ditch the damm pill men you did everything right time to move forward

Best of luck

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Thanks guys. Appreciate the opinions. Gave me the motivation to keep fighting and not go back on. I know a lot of this is psychological too. Been on these pills for 16 years. I have had some cortisol rushes today which I haven’t had my entire taper and I’m really spacey and revved up, but I’m hoping that will pass soon. I’ll keep you guys updated.
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Hey I remember you ;D

 

Congratulations!!! Please celebrate each week you are off starting today!!

 

As I always say.. our last dosage is the zero, and we have to handle it the same way like we handled the earlier dosages. First hold, hold, hold. And then... hold. But the difference is that you can now celebrate and MUST celebrate because right now your ticker of being free has started to count. This is huge.

I was in tolerance the last year of my last taper, so I felt like crap ALL the time, and I could make it. Also it was Ativan and I could not break the pills in little crumbs so I had to jump on a higher dose than Ashton wanted... but its over now. You can do it. You will do it.

 

Well Done!!! :thumbsup:

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[43...]
I jumped at .5 mg after a 8 month taper after 15 years use , I didn’t go into acute until 3 weeks later .i questioned myself all the time too until things got better . Hang in there it’s a crazy ride , but I’m sure the taper wasn’t fun either . Celebrate the fact you don’t take that shit anymore, now the true healing begins!
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I jumped at .5 mg after a 8 month taper after 15 years use , I didn’t go into acute until 3 weeks later .i questioned myself all the time too until things got better . Hang in there it’s a crazy ride , but I’m sure the taper wasn’t fun either . Celebrate the fact you don’t take that shit anymore, now the true healing begins!

 

That’s what worries me. That I’ll be ok, and then in 3 weeks get crushed and have to go back on.

What dose did u start at?

 

Thank you Marigold!

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To make it clear: Almost everyone is wondering the first weeks or months if it could be an option to reinstate. that's the nature of withdrawal, all the worries and questions do not stop when you have reached the zero :laugh:

Do what you have already learned in your taper, be pragmatic and stick to the plan. You made a decision, you jumped. Now ride it out.

Try not to put most of the energy in worries, - hold on, hold the "zero". The next months you might not feel good, that is normal. Its normal, don't forget it. Don't mess your taper which you have finished by going back, that was my mantra. But I had to taper lots of meds and the hole journey to finally reach he goal of zero meds, - ...well after 5 years, you dont want to restart, right?

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[43...]

I jumped at .5 mg after a 8 month taper after 15 years use , I didn’t go into acute until 3 weeks later .i questioned myself all the time too until things got better . Hang in there it’s a crazy ride , but I’m sure the taper wasn’t fun either . Celebrate the fact you don’t take that shit anymore, now the true healing begins!

 

That’s what worries me. That I’ll be ok, and then in 3 weeks get crushed and have to go back on.

What dose did u start at?

 

Thank you Marigold!

 

I was on 3 mg Xanax for 15 years

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[43...]

I jumped at .5 mg after a 8 month taper after 15 years use , I didn’t go into acute until 3 weeks later .i questioned myself all the time too until things got better . Hang in there it’s a crazy ride , but I’m sure the taper wasn’t fun either . Celebrate the fact you don’t take that shit anymore, now the true healing begins!

 

That’s what worries me. That I’ll be ok, and then in 3 weeks get crushed and have to go back on.

What dose did u start at?

 

Thank you Marigold!

 

I was on 3 mg Xanax for 15 years

 

I think if you jump at .5 or .01 you have the same chance of getting hit , if you do you will get through it, it’s either that or stay on forever . You will be ok

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[2c...]

Hey CMZ, thinking of you.  I am coming down the home stretch and get the heebie jeebies just thinking about jumping.  I hope you are doing reasonably well today.

 

:smitten:

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I am ready to jump any day.  (.5mg /valium) so I really appreciate your post.  I know that likely I will be in your same kind of state.  I imagine that it will be a ride.  Nobody could have prepared me for the surprises my withdrawal had in store for me.  So thank you and congratulations.  Please check back in.
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[43...]

I am ready to jump any day.  (.5mg /valium) so I really appreciate your post.  I know that likely I will be in your same kind of state.  I imagine that it will be a ride.  Nobody could have prepared me for the surprises my withdrawal had in store for me.  So thank you and congratulations.  Please check back in.

 

You can do this ! I just figured at .5 it’s not doing much anyways and it was just putting more time between true healing .

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