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Need to stop tapering..need advice


[st...]

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I have decided that I am no longer going to able to tolerate the side effects of withdrawl. My leukemia has relapsed out of remission and I cant fight both battles at once. I tried to wean, got really sick and had to updose. My questions

1 I am 60 years old. Has the damage already been done? Is my brain fubar?

2 Will I really feel better when I can kick my 4 mg Xanax habit?

3 Is it worth all the suffering that comes when you taper?

 

I don't want my last years on earth to be filled with Xanax side effects. I started on .5mg 30 years ago. Here I am at 4 mgs after 4 months  of trying. Is there a kinder,more gentle way to come off this?

Havent given up the fight, just have hit the pause button. Thanks for your replies. I am so worried about everything. This coronavirus has me trapped in the house since I have a compromised immune system and if I catch this virus it could kill me..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I’m so sorry you’re dealing with so much at once.  Everyone’s burdens feel so much more intense with the coronavirus fears right now.

 

You might consider tiny cuts every week or two just to keep the downward trajectory going if you want to work towards eventually getting off Xanax. At 4mg daily, a cut of .0625mg every few weeks might be tolerable.

 

Ultimately, you must do whatever you feel is best. We support whatever your decision is.

 

:smitten:

 

 

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Hi Star

 

Your brain isn’t fubar.  You’re withdrawing.  4 months is great success in getting down 1 mg!  That’s equivalent to .125 each month.  It’s ok that it takes time.  Imagine, if you keep going, in 12 months you could be down even more 🙂.  That said, you are in charge of your healing, your taper.  It’s fine to rest awhile at a dose.  I think try not to count time.  Count success.  In my opinion, it is worth it. 

 

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I would deal with the leukemia first. That is priority. My advice is not to updose and stay at the mg you are on until you are ready. As for your healing process with Xanax I wouldn’t give up all hope. I think when you continue after you are cancer free you should go super super superrr slow. I have a family member who also is tapering but does so In a very slow way. They cut and hold for months at a time so they can maintain their lives. I am almost at a year off and my life is way better than it has been in terms of symptoms. They still exist but I have quality of life most of the time. Don’t give up. And manage what is most important right now which is getting healthy and the leukemia back into remission. You are doing your part to manage the Xanax by not updosing and staying at a consistent dose. Don’t take this all on at once. Take it a day at a time. I wish you the best of luck.
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I felt I needed to updose then hold about 18 months ago when my teenage son became very ill. So I am only down in dose .25 mg of K from my 1 mg, which I was on for quite a while (but have been on/off K for 20+ years, never had any trouble stopping previously).

 

I have NO REGRETS. There are times in life that are very, very hard and I could no longer torture myself trying to get off the drug. We all have to figure out our own path. I do not feel like I have any side effects from the medication other than weight I cannot get rid of, but that is something I can accept. I was having 24/7 nausea, very bad anxiety and insomnia while tapering, and in reality I missed many of my son's health issues early as I was too focused on tapering.

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[a1...]

Yep, I agree.  One thing at a time.  You've actually got three things right now ... leukemia, tapering and coronavirus worries.  Taking one off the list sounds like a reasonable thing to do.  But if you are really set of maintaining some momentum, tiny cuts like Challis said is an option.  What Healing64 said is good:  it's success not time that counts.

 

 

:smitten:

 

 

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It's rough to have an illness to deal with on top of everything else. But, if it were me, I'd keep going or at least stay where you are. My personal experience over the last few months is that even though I'm not at the halfway point with my taper off Xanax, I am starting to feel some benefits. The side effects absolutely suck and I'm not sugar coating that at all but I'm now down by over a mg and my panic attacks have lessened, my constant interdose withdrawals have improved and I feel so much lighter just knowing I've made some progress. I also have fear about Corona because of an autoimmune condition. I'm taking this time inside to allow myself to rest and veg out when the side effects get bad.
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[a1...]

SRR, way to go with your taper.  Yes, the benefits to start to accumulate and pretty soon you begin to see you are going to be better off without benzos.

 

:thumbsup:

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