I am getting worse each day

[[ch...]]

Thank you for asking, I am struggling to say the least, Always worried about doing the right or wrong thing as my symptoms increase, but I cannot stay on this very low dose. I feel as if I have not healed in any way tapering down for many months, Maybe that has been because I was in a tolerance state when I started, and it was never going to be easy, but now it's ramping up more and more, I cannot tell if it's the last cuts from 1mg have been too high a percentage, of just the nature of the beast, Hard to judge as there has never been a stable dose, 

Today the tinnitus is so bad. I am used to it normally , being deaf since in my 30's., but this is in another league and getting louder each day , and the numbness is not improving, the fear is ever present  but what can you do if the drug didn't help and sensitive to so many things now, 

I can only think I have to remove the last 0.05mgs . it cannot do much for me, I don't know if it gets  in the way of healing or not,  I do wish I was more confident and felt a little better,

 

Jen

 

Thank you for asking

[[Ho...]]

Jen,

 

    I sent you some PMS.  Concerned about you.

 

  Kimmie

[[Aj...]]

Just keep holding on Jen. Try to tell yourself the symptoms are your nervous system doing it’s best to sort itself out.

 

If we have a cold it is the immune system fighting the cold that causes the symptoms.

 

This is your brain working hard to reregulate itself.

[[va...]]

Jen dear, no time to write now but rooting for you with all my might. Don't try to understand the why and the how. What you're going through is normal at this state of withdrawal as horrible as it is. You are such a strong woman Jen, I know you'll get through it. I hope a little window opens up for you so that you get a few hours break. Don't give up.

[[Bl...]]

5 more days friend, then your body can start to bring itself back into equilibrium!  Cheering for you!!!❤

[[ch...]]

I never cease to be touched by the love and care I feel here,

It's been and still is an horrendous day and evening

Adjusta It might be right that this is my brain really trying to sort things out, I don't know, but whatever it is , it's so distressing . I am ever amazed that even as you struggle you still find a kind word

 

Thank you for your PM  Kimmie

 

Vali . You have been so patient with me . You are so kind hearted

 

BLL . Yes if I keep cutting it will be another 3 days now as today is almost over,

 

I am finding is so hard to continue as things have really gone up a notch, I hope I get a little sleep at least if only to escape the noise for a time, and I know that around 4pm the adrenalin cortisol thing will begin and so it goes,

 

I am really pleased you have managed to get free, and will be so happy if I am able to join you at the top of the mountain, we have climbed . My climb has taken a while longer but has to come to end, and then I hope no freefall but a gentle  stroll down, 

 

I am so fortunate to have so many care, Truly it really touches my heart

 

Thank you

 

[[Ca...]]

Hey Jen...

 

I think it will be great when you can get beyond the technical tapering aspects, and on to umm (cant think of the right word), “pure” support?  -more “You” than actual Taper..

 

I think the three options, stopping now, tapering another week, or either holding for X time or reducing discontinuation speed, are splitting fine hairs from the “mechanical” point of view...

Imo, the main thing is what will sit best with you as you look back over the coming weeks or months...

-The “second guessing” aspect im sure we all experience when things are rough...

 

I think a big part of that is our own belief systems that apply to our OWN situations...

I get the feeling that yours might be “these meds are toxic crap” but that is also countered a bit by “the process”, -how you get there, or shock reduction, etc... Thus the dilemma... 

 

Looking in from the outside is so much easier, but I wonder if you could look at it like “what would I Regret least post-cessation..??”

Its the 11th hour, so to speak, -perhaps not the best time to give too much thought time to tapering theory... Yes you have a choice to make, as throughout all of this, but the difference between right and wrong might be very fine indeed.. -not to mention that wrong could be right, or simply unknown forever...

 

Simply put, I think that what you decide will be the right choice..

-If thats any help...

I sure hope this doesnt sound dismissive, -not the intent at all... This is the toughest thing just about anyone can go through...

I wish you the best, and send strength, as you move into the Final stage of healing...

 

***

Sorry, new posts slipped in while I texted (and tried to wake up), but I see its “3” days now..!!

Oh so very close..!! -Well done..!!

-Perhaps 3 more days and my post will be obsolete..

 

Wishing you some good sleep...

[Guest [...]]

I never cease to be touched by the love and care I feel here,

It's been and still is an horrendous day and evening

Adjusta It might be right that this is my brain really trying to sort things out, I don't know, but whatever it is , it's so distressing . I am ever amazed that even as you struggle you still find a kind word

 

Thank you for your PM  Kimmie

 

Vali . You have been so patient with me . You are so kind hearted

 

BLL . Yes if I keep cutting it will be another 3 days now as today is almost over,

 

I am finding is so hard to continue as things have really gone up a notch, I hope I get a little sleep at least if only to escape the noise for a time, and I know that around 4pm the adrenalin cortisol thing will begin and so it goes,

 

I am really pleased you have managed to get free, and will be so happy if I am able to join you at the top of the mountain, we have climbed . My climb has taken a while longer but has to come to end, and then I hope no freefall but a gentle  stroll down, 

 

I am so fortunate to have so many care, Truly it really touches my heart

 

Thank you

 

3 more days!!!  Wonderful, Jen

[[Fi...]]

Wow! You are soooo close!!!! We are all rooting for you and will be right here with you as you step off the meds. You are like me, and have never been well on this stuff. Prayers that getting completely off the meds is going to be what your body needs to feel better. I know how you feel... stuck in the worst hell. I'm there too right now... just stuck. The good news is you're not going to be stuck anymore. You'll be free... free of these awful poisons, and free to heal with nothing in your way. If you were in the olympics here, you'd see so many of us in the stadiums rooting you on! ❤

[[be...]]

Way to go! 

[[de...]]

Hi Jen.

 

Before retirement I worked in a drug and alcohol unit.  Saw many people withdrawing from Methadone. 

 

I can remember being told that at the very end of their taper patients were not told the exact dose they were being given.  It became known as the "mystery dose". 

 

Used a strategy to help overcome the fear of taking that final dose, and it's aftermath.  A recognition of 'anticipatory anxiety". 

 

I really don't think things are going to be any worse at cessation than they are now Jen. 

 

You are nearly there. 

 

Dee