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Brain fog during w/d


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who else experienced Brain fog, and finding it hard to complete tasks that before starting benzo's it was easy.

 

(I had bad brain fog for a good amount of time, which lately has lighten up some)

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it is annoying a bit, just remembering before starting the benzo, you had NO problem with figuring out simple tasks, and now, you have to work a little bit harder.

 

I'm really glad, its starting to go away little by little

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I'm at least to where, I'm starting to be able to and learn to drive, be able to think, and use good judgement.

 

I have yet to run over a mail box or a cat  ;D

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My brain works much, much better when I am having a window because when I am in withdrawal I get totally preoccupied by it and can't focus on much of anything else. But even so, I am nowhere near close to where I was before. If I have to do anything complex that involves any level of concerted concentration I just find it impossible to follow through. I was a computer programmer for almost 30 years before it all fell apart and I could no longer do my job. There are far more distractions nowadays (email etc.) and too much red tape, but regardless, I seemed to lose my ability to do the basic function of a programmer. I sure hope it comes back because my L.T.D. money will run out and then I will have to work again. I just have to believe it will happen.

 

Patience is a virtue, right?  :laugh:

 

http://www.freedominmessiah.com/mn%20read%20news%20ani.gif

 

T

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I'm at least to where, I'm starting to be able to and learn to drive, be able to think, and use good judgement.

 

I have yet to run over a mail box or a cat  ;D

 

Yeah, I was so bad a year ago I could barely walk and chew gum at the same time, and I was dangerous behind the wheel of a car. I'm grateful that my driving skills have returned at least.

 

T

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My brain works much, much better when I am having a window because when I am in withdrawal I get totally preoccupied by it and can't focus on much of anything else. But even so, I am nowhere near close to where I was before. If I have to do anything complex that involves any level of concerted concentration I just find it impossible to follow through. I was a computer programmer for almost 30 years before it all fell apart and I could no longer do my job. There are far more distractions nowadays (email etc.) and too much red tape, but regardless, I seemed to lose my ability to do the basic function of a programmer. I sure hope it comes back because my L.T.D. money will run out and then I will have to work again. I just have to believe it will happen.

 

Patience is a virtue, right?  :laugh:

 

http://www.freedominmessiah.com/mn%20read%20news%20ani.gif

 

T

 

Wow! computer programmer, that would be difficult to do, while on, and just w/d from benzo's.

 

I wanna go back to school soon for nursing, but still have some difficulty with staying focused, and absorbing what I read (I'm using a G.E.D book, as a refresher, for old high school topics)(I already have my diploma)

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Wow! computer programmer, that would be difficult to do, while on, and just w/d from benzo's.

 

No kidding. I kept going to work for 18 months after I crashed and it just kept getting worse and worse until I couldn't go anymore.

 

I wanna go back to school soon for nursing, but still have some difficulty with staying focused, and absorbing what I read

 

Yep, laying down long-term memories is virtually impossible for me at present. It can get very scary when people tell me about something I did or saw and I have no recollection of it. It's like when I used to binge drink decades ago and I'd black out. They really should prevent regular doctors from prescribing benzos. They give out Xanax like candies and it's possibly the most dangerous drug of all in the long run. Bah!

 

T

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who else experienced Brain fog, and finding it hard to complete tasks that before starting benzo's it was easy.

 

(I had bad brain fog for a good amount of time, which lately has lighten up some)

 

I used to be such a handyman, and now the thought of changing a light switch, or hanging wallpaper is simply overwhelming. It's getting better though. :)

 

T

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i can now complete cleaning my kitchen and washing dishes - not excellent but functional.

 

i can now complete the task of laundry and i can now complete a thought.

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i can now complete cleaning my kitchen and washing dishes - not excellent but functional.

 

i can now complete the task of laundry and i can now complete a thought.

 

It both angers and comforts me that others have been as debilitated as me. It gives me hope that we can all get better. I just wish the medical community had recognized what was going on instead of experimenting with me with so many horrifying psychotropic drugs and ECT. Not only that but had me take more benzos "as needed". http://www.freedominmessiah.com/real_mad.gif

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don't get lost in the past tony - you have come so very far.

 

you have support - good support and you are on your way and doing so well. ;)

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This is one scary topic and my greatest concern.  When I was on my measly 5 mg of valium I never felt like my brain was impaired. After dietox is a different story.  I Sometimes I feel frightened out of my wits in thinking that they perma fried my brain there.  I cannot hold onto two thoughts for a minute.  I have no concentration.  My writing is for shit.  The fact that I can stammer out even somewhat of a coherent sentence is still an accomplishment for me. I would like to take a horsewhip to the dr who prescribed me valium and most of all to the detox fiends, may they rot in Hell.

 

Tony, I am sure that ECT was horrifying.  Can you talk about it at all?

 

I guess Silver is right not to dwell on the past.(just saw her post)  It is so hard though when your past colors your present to such an extent.

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Sometimes I feel frightened out of my wits in thinking that they perma fried my brain there.  I cannot hold onto two thoughts for a minute.  I have no concentration.  My writing is for shit.  The fact that I can stammer out even somewhat of a coherent sentence is still an accomplishment for me.

 

Yes, I am especially hampered in social situations. I was never the most socially "adroit" person in the world, but with friends I could rabbit on all day about any number of topics. Now, even when I feel well, I get overwhelmed and always seem to get back to my "condition" in my mind. I don't really have any social life anymore. And yes, I too am scared that my brain is perma-fried. My doctor told me that extreme stress shrinks the hippocampus thus accounting for the slowing of cognitive skills. Yet I am told that once off, everyone eventually heals. I have to hold into that. I just hope it's in time to be able to get back to full functionality or else we will lose our home if it goes on too long. I don't know if I could cope with that. Oh yes, my writing: I used to be prolific, now the best I can do is this, which is huge compared to 6, 9, 12, 15 months ago, but nowhere near back to where it used to be. 

 

Tony, I am sure that ECT was horrifying.  Can you talk about it at all?

 

Absolutely. :)

 

I guess Silver is right not to dwell on the past.(just saw her post)  It is so hard though when your past colors your present to such an extent.

 

I personally think it's healthy to speak about those experiences and work them through. One can work on stuff from the past productively or one can obsess about them unhealthily. When I speak of them I hope it's the former and not the latter. Yes I can talk about the E.C.T. (and yes it was horrifying and barbaric) but I find scenes of people having surgery and especially of them waking post-op very distressing. Is there something in particular you wanted to ask about?

 

http://www.freedominmessiah.com/bloke_bowing.gif

 

T

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[82...]

If I have to do anything complex that involves any level of concerted concentration I just find it impossible to follow through. I was a computer programmer for almost 30 years before it all fell apart and I could no longer do my job.

 

Yeah, the fog can get very heavy.  I know what you mean.  I'm a QA Engineer working on a complicated enterprise software product for nearly  5 years now.  There was a point during daily temezepam use (at night) when I couldn't remember anything from one second to the next during the day.  Concepts and detailed steps eluded me every moment.  I can't believe I made it through all that... probably sheer force got me through those dimly lit months.  :o

 

Amp

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Tony,

 

  I guess I am being a nosy parker here.  Why did you have the ECT?  Was it for depression?  I remember reading about some senators wife getting it?  Saying it was great and it pulled her out of the black hole of suicidal depression.  It seems kind of barbaric.  Don't they run an electrical current into your brain?  What's the point? You could as well stick your finger into an electric socket and hold it there for awhile. I don't know what to ask, just give as much as you feel like sharing. 

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Tony,

 

  I guess I am being a nosy parker here.  Why did you have the ECT?  Was it for depression?  I remember reading about some senators wife getting it?  Saying it was great and it pulled her out of the black hole of suicidal depression.  It seems kind of barbaric.  Don't they run an electrical current into your brain?  What's the point? You could as well stick your finger into an electric socket and hold it there for awhile. I don't know what to ask, just give as much as you feel like sharing. 

 

I had been treated with all manner of drugs, MAOI's, mood stabilizers, anti psychotics and God knows what else over the previous 18 months. MAOI's were the worst, even worse than the ECT, but by the end of that time I was such a basket case I couldn't make a decision for myself. The doctor knew full well that my primary problem was anxiety (though he didn't cop to the fact that it was benzo related), and that ECT isn't indicated for anxiety disorders, but when they are out of ideas and desperate that's what they do.

 

They shoot a small electrical current through your brain, you have a mini seizure, and it's supposed to reset your mood. I came out of the first one so confused that I had no idea where I was or why. I was already confused before and could barely function but the ECT made it worse. I had 4 or 5 treatments, don't remember exactly how many. After one I forgot all the scary things in my life but then when I started to remember them again, I just went into additional shock, because life was scary and I was in benzo withdrawal. I can't stand the smell of pure oxygen since then, and I want nothing to do with people (shrinks) who use the procedure.

 

Yes, it is utterly barbaric, yet it does seem to work for some people who are primarily depressed. But not for anxiety and especially not for people in benzo withdrawal! http://www.freedominmessiah.com/real_mad.gif

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ok - i see it was traumatic.  my family has had those treatments to - seems depression is a trait on my dads side.

 

i was lucky i never had it - not many people do anymore - guess you need good insurance or non at all cause it was real popular in the 50's and 60's - maybe before to - don't know.

 

my trauma was going for help and having shrinks star at me and say "how do i know you are telling me the truth" or i don't trust you" - or this is the phych ward you should sign your self into if i'm not available.

 

went thru three shrinks in 6 months.

 

but tony it is never good to have your back to the wall - but when it is - that is when we stretch ourselves and find the strength and the guts to walk away from the BS and here you are.

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Here I am ... hoping I can get my life back. And wishing the same for everyone else here.

http://www.freedominmessiah.com/MentalPCG.gifeek.gif

T

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I have heard it argued that the future of pharmacology will be genetic based so that individuals can be tested for side effects or worse before they get the meds. Meds then can be 'fit' to individual genetic natures.  Clearly benzos and other related meds and procedures used to address mental and emotional issues leave some debilitated while many others shrug them off.  Having tests to know whether you will benefit from a med would be a profound breakthrough.  I believe this will come to pass.  It will give big pharma a reason to charge more $, it will go along way toward keeping the 400,000 plus out of emergency rooms each year from prescription drug side effects, and it will do much to save the horrible suffering described on these boards.

But what do we do while waiting for this?  Avoid Dr.'s and when not possible, use every resource possible to know what you are taking before you open your yap and pop it in.  And while you are getting your precious 10-15 minutes from the doc ask as much as you can.  Know your family's history especially about drug sensitivity.  I had an uncle (who just died, God bless him) with whom I shared many similar reactions to meds and because he was older then I, he was an invaluable resource for what I might expect.  I always asked him before taking any new script.

As for Tony and Christine's communication skills...I find all of your posts articulate and clear.  If your writing skills are benzo fogged then you could fool me.

Sorry to intrude here Tony, but I am afraid- at least in treating the issues concerning these boards-that we are still in the blood-letting stage of medical knowledge.  In other words, Drs  are often doing more harm then if we left the patient alone.

SD

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I have heard it argued that the future of pharmacology will be genetic based so that individuals can be tested for side effects or worse before they get the meds. Meds then can be 'fit' to individual genetic natures.  Clearly benzos and other related meds and procedures used to address mental and emotional issues leave some debilitated while many others shrug them off.  Having tests to know whether you will benefit from a med would be a profound breakthrough.  I believe this will come to pass.  It will give big pharma a reason to charge more $, it will go along way toward keeping the 400,000 plus out of emergency rooms each year from prescription drug side effects, and it will do much to save the horrible suffering described on these boards.

But what do we do while waiting for this?  Avoid Dr.'s and when not possible, use every resource possible to know what you are taking before you open your yap and pop it in.  And while you are getting your precious 10-15 minutes from the doc ask as much as you can.  Know your family's history especially about drug sensitivity.  I had an uncle (who just died, God bless him) with whom I shared many similar reactions to meds and because he was older then I, he was an invaluable resource for what I might expect.  I always asked him before taking any new script.

As for Tony and Christine's communication skills...I find all of your posts articulate and clear.  If your writing skills are benzo fogged then you could fool me.

Sorry to intrude here Tony, but I am afraid- at least in treating the issues concerning these boards-that we are still in the blood-letting stage of medical knowledge.  In other words, Drs  are often doing more harm then if we left the patient alone.

SD

 

I don't see any intrusion. Nice to meet you be the way. :) By "the blood-letting stage" I assumw you mean the same thing as a shrink who once told me psychiatry is a medieval science, which it is. I suspect it'll be many years before they will be able to predict who will have what response to what drugs. I would at least minimally wish they would take away the power to prescribe benzos and anti depressants from general practitioners. Many, many people get hooked because the regular doctor gave them Xanax like candy where perhaps a specialist might try something else (better hopefully) ... or, if they couldn't prescribe them then they might come up with better alternatives themselves ... like aspirin or something.

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