Short term Ativan user, 2mg daily now at 0.3mg

[[Li...]]

Hello everyone!

 

I've been a long time lurker of this site and have benefited greatly from this community.  I feel ready to officially introduce and contribute.

 

I've been a helpless insomniac for almost four years. We are talking 2-5 hours of sleep a night if I'm fortunate, seven nights a week. No reprieve.  Naturally, I've tried everything. I truly mean everything. So when my doctor prescribed Ativan 1.5mg nightly (then increased to 2mg nightly for the final two weeks I took those pills), I blindly decided to go for it. Slept like I haven't slept in years. This continued for two months. I thought that by taking it during the week and not the weekends, I would be smart. We all know I was not. Six weeks (minus weekends) at 1.5mg per night and then 2mg's per night for two weeks (minus weekends).

 

Finally after two months I was informed that it may be addictive. Background on me, I'm 38, well educated live a very healthy and clean life, happily married with an amazing 3 year old son for whom I'm the primary caretaker.  Naturally, I quit immediately. I cold turkeyd from 2mg's a night thinking that after only two months I would be fine.

 

We all know what the next two weeks looked like so I'll spare the details other than confirm it was a confusingly unimaginable hell the likes of which I didn't know could happen to a human.  During this time I did a significant amount of research on the topic and decided to reinstate at 0.5mg's and titrate up until I stabilized. Turns out, I was able to stabilize on 0.5mg's.

 

During this time, another doctor told me that I could take Zopiclone to sleep and that Ativan and Zopiclone act on different "wavelengths."  We all know this to be incorrect. There are scientific technicalities which could be used to make that case, but ultimately, it's functionally incorrect. These drugs should not be used in unison.  So then I started 1.5 pills (7.5mg's per pill) of zopiclone per night to sleep the day I cold turkeyd from Ativan.

 

After about two weeks of stabilizing on 0.5mg's of ativan, I thought I could rewrite the rules and cut to 0.25mg's and that would be fine. It wasn't. Hell and suffering again. Went back up to 0.5mg's and it took two very hard weeks to stabilize. I'm fortunate that I was able to based on what I've read.

 

My taper ever since has been directly off Ativan, the fact that it has a short half life and that I'll know the consequences of my cuts sooner than later works for me. It's not for everyone, but for me it works.

 

How do I cut? I acquired the following materials:

 

- 10 pack razor blades

- 0.001g scale (purchased from Amazon)

- Micro tweezers

 

How do I do it?

 

The sensitivity of the scale is +- 0.002 so I'm careful to weigh at least four pills in succession. Usually I'm able to get to 0.050g's (the weight of an individual 0.5mg pill) on the money.  If I'm above by 0.001 or below, I'll adjust in the cut and use other pills to constantly calibrate throughout the chopping process. I then take the micro tweezers and chip away at the pill using the razor blade. Very carefully in order to make sure I'm cutting less than I need to so that I could land carefully at my target cut. I weigh constantly.  Occasionally I'll over cut, in which case I then find a "cut" nugget and put it on top of the larger mass until I'm at the desired weight.

 

I'm presently at 0.3mg's (or 0.030grams).  My cuts till now were as follows, each cut was after eight days of holding

 

0.50

0.45

0.40

0.35

 

At that point, I decided to do 0.02mg's every three days, so then it became

 

0.33

0.31

 

Today, just to keep it clean, I dropped to 0.30mg's (again, 0.030grams of actual pill weight).

 

The cuts have been decent, some harder than others. At lower quantities, the cuts become more difficult, but the s/x are totally manageable.

 

Regarding the Zopiclone, that quickly became inneffective. Cutting that down has been much easier than the Ativan. Three weeks ago I went from 1.5 pills, to 1 pill. Three days of suffering then I was able to stabilize, then a few nights ago I further cut to 3/4 of a pill per night and had about three days of symptoms, light, but they passed.

 

The dual cut is tough, but in my experience the Ativan is the main event and the Zopiclone appears, from the perspective of my individual biochemistry, to be gentler in terms of s/x.

 

I'm blessed to have a wonderful support system around me so that while I'm expriencing this my responsibilities have been diminished.  My life is forever changed from this experience and I've learned so much, scientifically, psychologically and personally.

 

I'm fortunate that my taper is going well, but it's completely understandable that not everyone's is quite as smooth.

 

I would be honoured to help anyone in any way possible. 24/7. My wife is a surgeon, a now benzo-wise doctor, to an extent that would make all of us here proud. My experience has allowed her to study this subject in a way that most other doctors are incapable of even conceptualizing.

 

Bottom line, this is a very difficult brain injury for anyone to suffer and I'm truly appreciative that this community exists.

 

[[ma...]]

Hello Lioninwaiting Welcome to Benzobuddies!

 

We are very glad you joined our community.  You made a great decision to taper off Ativan after 2 months use.  It doesn’t take long for the body to become dependent on benzodiazepines.  You have done well, I am so glad you have such great support behind you, your wife sounds amazing.  We can help as well with plenty of support, encouragement.  You should taper one drug at a time! Zoplicone, while not technically a benzodiazepine, ("z" drugs) do target the same receptors as benzos and should be tapered in the same manner as benzos.

 

In general it’s advised to cut your daily dose by somewhere between 5% and 10% every 10 - 14 days.  It’s okay to go slower than this, whatever feels comfortable, the aim is to try to keep symptoms manageable.

 

I would suggest that you familiarise yourself with the Ashton Manual, It is a great resource for understanding the effect benzo’s have on our body.  It provides tapering and withdrawal information and includes a list of common symptoms 

 

You will find some very valuable support and information on the forum.  Our members are happy to share their personal experiences with you and support you.. Please feel free to browse the boards and post questions to any of the dedicated threads.

 

I'll leave you a few links:

 

The Ashton Manual. 

Withdrawal Support

General Taper Plans

Z-DRUG SUPPORT GROUP

 

 

Please take time to add a signature (history of meds/doses etc) it will help members give you relevant advice.  Go to the top of the page and select PROFILE then choose forum profile then insert drug history into the text box and remember to click change profile

 

Welcome aboard

Magrita

 

[[Li...]]

Hi Magrita,

 

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! I truly appreciate it!!

 

Yeah, I have studied the Ashton Manual inside and out. The medical community at this time, unfortunately, does not have the ..... adequate knowledge to properly help us. The exception being the very rare benzo wise doctor of course, and my marker of their knowledge is their acknowledgement of the Ashton Manual.

 

Regarding my taper rate, I’m basically going with what my body allows me to do. If at any point I feel like things are going too quickly, I hold. No questions. I’ve learned, the hard way, that this is a very long marathon. There is no timeline and that slow wins the race. That being said, I also think there’s merit to going as fast as my body comfortably allows me to.

 

Regarding cutting Zopiclone and Ativan at the same time, I completely agree with you. They should be done in succession. I experimented and determined that in my very specific case, with my biochemistry, it’s tolerable to strategically cut both. After an Ativan cut, if I’m in an eight day hold, and the s/x are not too bad,I do a zopi cut on day four. I’ve found in my case that the zopi cuts are not in the same category as the Ativan cuts and I consider myself truly fortunate for this. I’m well aware that for many people Zdrugs are equal if not greater in difficulty to cut. So far this is working for me, however at lower doses the game changes and I’ll be going with what my body allows me to do.

 

Holding is something that I suspect a lot of us feel guilty about. At least I did. The thought of “I’m not making progress and it’s costing my family” used to be a factor, but with benzos it’s so easy to make things worse by rushing.  In effect, I’ve learned to give myself permission to take my time. That being said, I also know that it’s also important to keep the train moving so I cut when I can.

 

I’m going to make a signature later, just read your and I’m so impressed, 26 years on and you found a way off!!!! It’s stories like yours which give people like me strength. Thank you so much for your reply!!

[[sc...]]

Hi, Lioninwaiting!

I'm in a somewhat similar predicament you're in. I've been on Ativan since early November, 2018 and was also on Atenolol for blood pressure (tapered off of that successfully 6 weeks ago). As a side note, my blood pressure is fine. I lost some excess weight and my blood pressure normally resides around 115-125 over mid 70's to 80. The new "guidelines" frown at anything over 120 systolic which is BS, IMHO but I will save that topic for another day.

I have been taking 1.5 mg of Ativan per day until 2 weeks ago. I took 1/2 of 1 mg pill in the morning and 1 mg at night before bedtime. I told myself as soon as I got off of Atenolol I would also taper off of Ativan...albeit considerably slower than Atenolol.

So beginning around the 1st of April, I went down to .25 mg in the morning and .75 mg at night before bedtime. I had some mild withdrawals but nothing I couldn't handle. I knew by reading up on various sources, including the Ashton manual that those withdrawals were to be more or less expected. At very random times, I would have what I call a "head spin" and things would go back to normal again. These seem to be going down in frequency and in intensity. As of late my "interdose" cravings have come down a little. Now when I cut down my evening dose, that may go up but not as bad as when I dropped from 1.5 mg a day to 1 mg a day. Anyway, I'm ready for it. Bring it on.

I also take 100 mg of 5-HTP at night before bed for sleep. It has helped me quite a lot. I also go to the gym 5-6 days a week.

From what you have wrote, you're doing quite well. Just keep moving forward. And I will do the same.

Cheers,

Scorpiontail

[[Li...]]

Hey Scorpiontail,

 

Ativan is definitely a tough one. Congrats on your progress so far, it's very impressive!

 

How are your interdose withdrawals at this point? How is your sleep?

[[si...]]

Welcome Lioninwaiting & scorpiontail,

 

I recently jumped from Ativan.  Sounds like you both have a solid tapering plan that's working well.  Congrats!  Half the battle is getting comfortable being uncomfortable. 

 

There's a dedicated Ativan Support Group we'd love you to participate in, where we share what's worked, how we're doing and try to help one another out.  Be great if you want to join us:  http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=44903.7650

 

In my experience, I felt increasingly better as I tapered down and improvements continue now that I'm Ativan-free.  Lots of benefits await you!

 

xo,

sierra 

[[sc...]]

Hey Scorpiontail,

 

Ativan is definitely a tough one. Congrats on your progress so far, it's very impressive!

 

How are your interdose withdrawals at this point? How is your sleep?

Interdose withdrawals have gone down (thank God) but I'm day 9 out from my last cut. When I keep myself occupied and not focusing on my symptoms (that's the key right there), I hardly notice the symptoms. Sleep is okay but not great. I take 5-HTP (100 mg) at night to help. I initially got vivid dreams upon taking 5-HTP but that has subsided. I may cut my dose tomorrow when I get in from work (I work 2nd shift) but that depends on what I'm feeling like at that time. I'm sure I'll be fine.

 

[[ba...]]

Hello, Lioninwaiting! Together we will surely defeat this evil! Good luck!

[[Li...]]

Hi Bazil4uk,

 

Yes, we most certainly will!

 

Scorpiontail, I'm happy to hear that the interdose withdrawals have gone down. Take your time with your cuts, hold as long as you need to and cut only when you're ready. I'm telling myself as much as I'm telling you.

 

Let me know how you're progressing, you totally got this!!