Lower doses and symptoms debate/help??

[[So...]]

Congratulations Nick on jumping!

[[...]]

Nick,

 

Congratulations!!! I’ve been following this thread with great interest.

 

sila

[[Ni...]]

Ty all, I will keep updating. I think the greatest obstacle for me is going be the craving of it and the lack of physical support, I live alone and have a lonely life so that’s def going be my biggest denim is resisting the temptation to just take a dose when I feel bad or boredom because that has been my routine these past two years. But I got all you guys to vent too if needed I guess. So let’s do this, learn to be comfortable with feeling uncomfortable!!!

[[So...]]

We are here for you Nick - vent away and keep us updated as how you feel. It's great that you jumped - be proud. Now you will start really healing.

 

I feel very alone in this battle too so know that you are not alone. We are all here for you.

[[Ni...]]

I did the first step though by telling my parents that no matter what if I call or text to them to NOT say stuff like take a pill to calm down etc or say I’m going crazy, hoping it won’t even get to that stage but I’m sure there’s going be really rough days ahead. Told them to tell me I’m ok won’t die and it’s just a phase that will pass. So hoping they’ll honour that pledge because they have always just kept saying take a pill calm down etc....there not hear with me so it’s so easy to just suggest something over a text or phone call.

[[Cu...]]

Congratulations on your jump Nick! 

 

There are many bbs who are alone, stumbling through this mess...learning as we go though online research, books, fellow members' struggles & how they've gotten beyond them. The bb community is place of Super-heroes for me...far more than cellular ones.  Best place for support   There are many threads/posts on the emotional aspects & I find tremendous solace here.  I'd mistakenly thought once I'd shared this, that loved ones would realize I was open for discussion.  I've since learned that's not the case; it's them who are reluctant to discuss.  I recognize that it's their own fears; I know it's not lack of caring.  This is a time for healing and the only support I'm even looking for is just a space to discuss what's happening.  BBs offer emotional support.  I also learn coping techniques and alternative, natural therapies here.  Plus, share my own experiences & information from books & online research (i.e. blogs, etc).

 

Wishing you continuing healing & comfort.

 

 

P.S. Trust...Is this "Builder" still on here &/or have a blog?  You're fortunate that you're not disabled by this.  I'm curious when I see posts where members have gone through withdrawal only to start taking again. -  Did you decide to go through the awfulness of withdrawal a second time, due to tolerance w/d sxs (i.e. depression?)  I know everyone has different circumstances, so no worries if you don't feel like responding on this. 

[[Bl...]]

congratulations!! be strong..

keep us posted

much love

blossom4

[[Ni...]]

Hey E1, yup still jumped. Symptom free thus far while minus the symptoms I had during my taper which is tolerable. Day 7 so one week in.

 

Yes Builder is still very active in community and helping others with his knowledge and experience, his blog? I’m not sure don’t follow him. Pete? Does builder have an active blog going??

[[So...]]

I've never seen a Builder blog but would definitely read it if he had one. He is so active in helping people that he probably doesn't have time to blog.

 

Day 7 Nick - that is a big deal dude. Keep a record of how you do every day - I think that helps because you can look back on good days/good times and know that when you do feel symptomatic that it is not going to be all the time and you ride out that wave and will start to feel better again. You are doing so well.

[[Tr...]]

Nick- I'm so happy to hear that you're doing better. I really think that you're in the clear for the most part because with the half-lives of clonazepam I believe most of us feel the cuts by day 4-5 and most of the drug is eliminated by 10. Do you think being on such a low dose of K was making you feel worse than actually being off of it then?

 

I'm in the same boat, at .0125 and I feel horrible after taking my dose. I started to speed up my taper dropping .0005 a day to just get off of this poison.

 

I don't think builder has a blog, but you may run into him on here he's always jumping in to help others.

 

I've been following your posts in this thread and am rooting for you brother

[[Ni...]]

Hey trust god. That was the EXACT reason why I jumped st 0.125 mgs Clonazepam instead of finishing it down to the recommendation of Ashton, was mainly due to the fact that I knew in my head and heart that I’ve developed a tolerance to the medication and also the fact that no matter the cut size, whether it big or low doses that the side effects and the desired effects was not developing any just remained the same on either side of the battle so it was more of placebo than beneficial I thought. So I felt comfortable and confident enough to make the jump. It might come back to bite me but who knows.

 

Also everyone you got to understand too, that even though we are reading the negative on here, on average only about 30% of users have extreme experiences, coming off the medication, yes 100% suffer symptoms but most are tolerable and you can just accept them and work with them whenever one of them presents itself.

 

Like today for example my tinnitus is acting way up plus insomnia last night left for a really shitty sleep, my stomach is sore and having digestive symptoms but whatever they are considered tolerable symptoms. My world isn’t going end over it.

[[So...]]

Great attitude Nick. And it's true - BBs can be scary because the people suffering the most tend to post about their symptoms the most. I try to not read too much into all that. I have s/x for sure but not to where I can't live life to some extent. I think what you said about being comfortable being uncomfortable is so important. We need to just accept how we feel, deal with it and get better. And it does happen.

[[Ni...]]

Exactly Pete...attitude,acceptance,hard work is EVERYTHING towards a successful Benzo battle. You gotta really completely comprehend that you’re never going feel like you did before damaging your CNS, yes it will reproduce GABA and will eventually start associating unstressful situations as actually being unstressful thus working properly again and relaxing your mind however you’ll never feel the same as pre Benzo so stop expecting it, it’s not fair assumption and will only impede your success neurologically. You most likely will come out a better stronger more appreciated to the small stuff person who is kinder and developed coping mechanisms because legit if you haven’t developed any guess what Sherlock 🕵️‍♀️....might not be today, maybe not tomorrow BUT your stress and life will return being the same pendulum clock to where you started abusing benzodiazepines in first place. Suck it up princess

[[Tr...]]

You're inspiring me to speed up even more, Nick! Everything you said is so true. I'm looking for really good days to drop a dose, but honestly I need to get off and should be dropping my dose on bearable days--which I started doing recently- and feel better. Just so you know, After my first Klonopin taper, I healed completely- 110% better even more than baseline pre-benzo. You said " you’ll never feel the same as pre Benzo", but I think it is very possible with a high likelihood that you can get back to pre-benzo baseline! You are past the worst of this, and you will get so much better!

 

 

 

Here is a topic I just posted about feeling so much worse after taking klonopin if you or anyone else is interested. I believe I'm in the same boat as you, Nick.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=218819.msg2816125#msg2816125

 

"I'm doing better--much more functional but far from well. I've been cutting .0005 mg a day and I'm feeling a little better than when I hold. I swear my brain and body hates me not going down on this stuff. At .0125 I feel hope. I figure going down .0005 a day is better than a detox, but I also wonder how nasty a detox would be from .0125. Either way, the detox is my last resort. Since I've been cutting, my benzo flu physical sensation caustic poison sick nerve feelings and chemical fear have subsided mostly but now I get a higher HR of 90 at rest (I'm a fit guy with a usual resting HR of 60-70ish--and I'm on beta blockers!) and feel more irritable and amped up- like I drank too much coffee. When I take my evening dose I get the nerve sick benzo flu tightness caustic nerve weakness and tinnitus raging. My scalp becomes raw. My ears and face burn and prickle. My eyes even become hot and tight- like an allergic reaction.

 

Yep, paradoxial to me is things getting worse right after taking the dose. How much kindling, interdose withdrawal, relative/tolerance wd, and palin old withdrawal accounts into this, it's too complex to really understand. Even if we were neuroscientists alot of this brain science is so new and conjecture. All I know is I feel alot worse after taking my dose. that's not to say that tapering is also keeping me from a full-blown acute withdrawal that may or may not be just as bad or worse.

 

After my first (successful) Klonopin taper and years of binge drinking, when I gave it up for a few years and decided to try drinking responsibly, I would feel worse after just one glass of wine or beer too. I would sip on my beer but anxiety, burning skin, and agitation would peak through even while I was drinking it. It feels like the same thing now. It's like my GABA receptors are rejecting anything that affects them. I can imagine them screaming: "Brother, leave us be!" "

 

 

[[So...]]

Good post Pete (good name too - I am Pete as well).

 

Agree with you and Nick - slow is good for many and I don't want to race through this and screw myself up in the long run, but my month long hold was actually when I felt the worse and when I started to taper again, I felt the same and sometimes better. I don't think dragging this thing out for months and months or years is good.

 

Sadly, I think we all need to lay off the booze for a while - as much as I want a cold one, it will probably be a while before I grab a beer once I am off the poison pill Valium.

 

And great that you felt 110% - we are going to heal and be even stronger than we were pre-benzos. I really believe that.

[[Ni...]]

Thanks Petes 😂

 

Also disclaimer: please fellow members don’t read into these posts as meaning you have to go fast that’s the opposite I want to portray, just go with what you feel comfortable and confident with. Your body will tell you how or what’s working just mean that if you’re suffering mild but tolerable symptoms continue with your tapering plan, you’ll never feel perfect while coming off these medications.