Can't go outside

[[cr...]]

It's not even agoraphobia. I just can't handle it. I go into extreme withdrawal anytime I leave my room. The birds chirping in the trees are like train horns assaulting my senses. The sun is a billion times too bright. And no sunglasses and earplugs dont help. I feel strange just walking around. Just walking overstimulates me. All i can do is lay here or move around the house. I used to be able to go get groceries and go to the mall when i first jumped. I actually looked forward to those trips out. Now its just out of the question. I feel like ive done some crazy damage to myself post jump. The alcohol... The hydroxyzine... Everything made my baseline worse. I mean, I just spent the last 4 months bedridden so at least everything's not spinning and giving me headaches anymore. But i feel so foggy and overstimulated. How are those two even possible at the same time? I'm a mental patient basically.

[[tr...]]

I'm in the same situation. Life, outside the window, is another world. I get food once a week. I don't want to go outside the door, it's impossible. Others have said "you have to be among people, then you feel better!" A month ago, I tried to do it. It was terrible, and setback. So hopeless! But, there comes a day for us too, although it feels very far away. But together, we will get through this. Right?

[[Do...]]

What about going outside when the sun goes down, or in the middle of the night when no one is around.  I had a hard time with daytime while tapering, but I found going outside at night time when everything was pretty quiet was very calming.  (plus I knew if I stayed in the house it would be harder for me to go out when I needed to, so I went outside at least once a day).  Once the light was reduced (the stars didn't bother me) the other things weren't bad.

[[de...]]

I found that too Dolphinator.  Would go outside and sit in my garden chair in the dead of night.  It was peaceful and I would look at the moon and stars. 

 

Dee

[Guest [su...]]

My dr or if it is a vision issues makes it hard to go outside in darkness I can't see! It is all so blurry. In daylight I have a jacket with a hood. It helps a lot. But the hardest part is my fear of going out. And my feeling of being outside my body makes it even harder. The world looks unreal. It feels like I am gonna pass out. But I force myself to go out and I have to I have a dog