time perception

[[go...]]

I am doing a lot better physically, I can exercise a little bit, don't have the extreme dizziness that gave me the random lift dropping sensation. The extreme depression has eased, but I am left with anhedonia and just a feeling of numbness, just a little detached from reality, my perceptions of time feel distorted and I still get a lot of intrusive memories from my acute time, it leaves me quite disorientated. I am hoping to get back into employment, had a few interviews and hoping something comes around soon. I was wandering if my lingering disorientated symptoms might be partially from not having a job or meaning for so long. Does anyone relate to this or have experience getting back into work after a long time off. I feel like a structure would really help me 9 - 5, etc. They do say routine is good for depressed people.

[[ea...]]

Hi goner!

You are doing quite well. I am proud of you.

I think what you are feeling now is just residual WD stuff. Detachment, slight disorientation, are all a normal part of benzo WD healing.

Time will heal all of this.

I think you are on track. It might help you to have a job, because a routine, a sense of purpose, can be very helpful. But only do this if you truly feel able to.

Once I healed enough to work, I started my own cleaning business. The first year was rough. I had to learn a lot of stuff. And made a lot of mistakes! The second year was better and the third year was pretty good. Now I am in the process of reactivating my RN license so I can make better money.

 

Keep on going, friend. You are doing just fine. And you have done a damn good job getting off benzos!

east

[[am...]]

I’ve got all this Gooner, physically doing better, don’t have the crazy sound sensibilities anymore or paralyzing fear, agoraphobia and crazy physical symptoms BUT i still feel residual DP/DR. All my perceptions feel a bit weird like time, colors, emotions and memories. Still have constant rumination and self awareness with intrusives memories...

As for anhedonia, I think i’m in the clear: started to enjoy reading other stuff than BWD recently and enjoyed video games and listened to music again but movies and series are still difficult. It will come back.

As for sleep it’s much better but I still have weird, vivid, dp/dr dreams.

I think we’re coping better but still have a way to go to full healing. It kinda feels like PTSD? dunno but keeping ourselves busy is the best thing to do now, I also think that being unoccupied can amplify these feelings.

[[ea...]]

That is a darn good description of DP/DR. I struggled to describe it and sound even half way sane. There is something SO weird about DP/DR that it IS hard to describe.

 

People have likened BWD to a rollercoaster. I use the simile of it being a horrible maze. One you want to find a way out of fast but the maze keeps confusing you and making you take wrong turns. Eventually, your brain does heal and the maze just.....evaporates. At that point you are hone free and just fine.