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I am missing a goal to live for


[Ho...]

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I don’t know how to explain this in words, but I am really missing something to live for, a goal in my life. The society and friends are slipping away from me. I am battling this withdrawal for so long now that I am afraid to move on with everything. No dates for a year, stopped working, minimal social activity. I am overthinking this process, because I have nothing else to do and that makes me sick. Waking up in the survival modus for so long that I am accepting my life, but it’s terrible.

 

I miss my old life guys, I want to find hope somewhere. What can I say, even your worst enemy does not deserve this! Let’s keep hope and strenght. Pfff where is my positivity, where is the funny and happy guy? I am really looking forward to close year 2 soon. 3 weeks away from 2 years :sick:

 

Who am I?

 

All the prayers and hope for everybody. Wish you a calm Sunday!

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I totally relate. I used to be motivated, have goals or things to look forward to, now one day just blurs into the next. I’m too sick most of the time to do anything much at all, I’ve turned down friends and families suggestions that we meet up, it’s a momentous achievement if I make it down to the local shops. It’s so depressing living like this, everyday is like Groundhog Day. I don’t know when I’ll start feeling like myself again, at 19.5 months off I’m losing hope
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[95...]
Totally relate, I could've written these posts myself, 13 months off from 6 weeks use, can't foresee any end to it and feeling so utterly sick and unwell, life completely passing me by.
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I totally relate. I used to be motivated, have goals or things to look forward to, now one day just blurs into the next. I’m too sick most of the time to do anything much at all, I’ve turned down friends and families suggestions that we meet up, it’s a momentous achievement if I make it down to the local shops. It’s so depressing living like this, everyday is like Groundhog Day. I don’t know when I’ll start feeling like myself again, at 19.5 months off I’m losing hope

 

I know you are struggling so bad sunshine, I think we share the same “healing” pattern. I became a bad person of my old personality. Although many symptoms have dissapeared, it’s ongoing torture. Month 18/19 was super bad. If I compare that to this, it’s a but more doable. Where are you from Sunshine?

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Totally relate, I could've written these posts myself, 13 months off from 6 weeks use, can't foresee any end to it and feeling so utterly sick and unwell, life completely passing me by.

 

“Life completely passing me by”, so true! Do you work at the moment? I describe it as robot modus.

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[95...]

Robot modus is exactly it. No I don't work now, I was a classical singer and the stroke (due to wd), took my voice away, I got my speaking voice back but not my singing voice due to muscle damage. I used to teach as a voice coach but can't demonstrate to my students and as for the hyperacusis, well no way could I touch a piano. So loss on numerous levels, as many of us have had.

 

I hardly go out of the house, groundhog day every day, I feel I'm in a "lost land", no longer acute but not yet protracted, but I'm sure I'm  on the way there. Friends have dropped away, "Are you STILL not better ", "If you thought of others instead of yourself you would get better ", "Are you sure this is wd, just pull yourself together "....hubby detached now as I have setbacks to so many things, and so it goes on and on. Feel like I'm hanging by a thread.

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I’m from Australia hopehope. Months 18/19 have just been one long wave, I look back at the same time last year and I really can’t see much improvement at all. That really depresses me, that maybe I’m one of the unlucky ones who are stuck in this fog, I really hope not.
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[95...]
Sunshine, I'm from Oz too, I've found no support here in nsw, BB has been my only support source really. Don't know where you are but I'm in country  nsw and the heatwave conditions have almost killed me this summer, last summer we lived on the coast and it was slightly cooler thank god as I was in acute for 4 months over summer. I don't believe I'm healing because if my receptors were healing why am I getting so many setbacks, there's no evidence that shows sxs equate with healing. I'm so sorry you're stuck in this fog as you put it, I truly feel the same. Groundhog day in hell.
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I can tell you from my own experience, month 18/19 since than everything went downhill. I have had so many close to healed months in month 5/9/13, but every time I get hit with another setback.

Can you believe this madness? But oh I feel so sorry for you with that insane temperature in Australië. In Holland the summer was also pretty warm. Reved up my symptoms. But some symptoms are gone, some come back strong. So what is improvement.... in some areas yes, some areas not.

 

But lets keep hope. Someday.....

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