We are losing soldiers in the fight. Jennifer Leigh and Recovery Road

[[Ma...]]

Thank you. I saw a doctor today. I've developed POTS. My heart rate goes to 160 and my blood pressure isn't even measurable when I stand. That's causing a lot of it. But what's causing it? It's a symptom. Not a disease. I was not the debilitated the first Wd so hard to know if it's Wd related. I do feel I'm back in Wd. The burning, tingles, jerking, shaking, etc is the same as last time. They took 25 tubes of blood. I guess I'll know something soon. I started a tiny dose of inderal  (suggested by Ashton) hoping it helps a bit. Swallowing that pill took courage. I have developed a paranoid loathing of any and all drugs. But I've to try and stabilize so I can stand up. I have the boaty stuff going on as well. Fun fun.

 

I'm really shocked and saddened reading this. I hope you find out what is wrong and recover quickly. Like you said, it is a symptom of something. And you also have other symptoms that resemble the withdrawal you've experienced in the past in addition to this new symptom. You said it was caused from getting burnt out emotionally basically. So, POTS is related to adrenal fatigue....and hormonal imbalances. You'll get through this. Sometimes we just have to say yes to suffering. I'm right there with you Jen. Have you considered medical marijuana? A high CBD strain may help. Not sure though.

 

Edit: After briefly reading about POTS, it says the only way to really over come it is by eventually being able to be active again. So, maybe some light exercises in bed might help you recover quicker and short walks.

[[re...]]

Thank you for the info from Perseverance. Helpful. With all the tubes of blood they took in certain im being tested for everything. I tried medical pot when I was in Wd really deep. It made me so much more worse. I'll never try it again. I know of others who tried smoking after they thought they were healed and it out them back into Wd. It works for some (good for akathisa) but terrible for others. I'm just going to keep doing what I know to do. Rest. Eat clean. Think good thoughts. Pray. Be patient.

[[Ma...]]

I think it will pass quicker than expected considering how far you've come. You were taking on a lot and you just got imbalanced from the stress because your CNS is still fragile. It will get better.

[[Te...]]

I think the best thing is remaining quiet and calm and getting back into gardening, being a grandmother, and lessening stress in any way possible. I agree that refraining from helping others is the right thing to do. First and foremost, heal yourself. Make yourself strong. You have done so much good for everyone, more than enough, but the cost to yourself is much too high.

 

Sometimes we keep going. We're feeling so well. There are little nagging thoughts that we ought to be slowing down, but we dismiss them. Again, we tell ourselves that we're doing much better. Some odd dizziness shows up. We don't know where it's coming from, but then suddenly it leaves. Other symptoms may show up and then leave. We keep going. As I've experienced this right before a wave, I didn't understand and kept moving, doing what I was doing, anyway (in my case, drinking coffee). I didn't realize those subtle warnings were alerting me to the fact that there was going to be a very big wave if I didn't stop what I was doing. I kept pushing, and BOOM, a big wave. 

 

Blessings to you, and may you feel stronger, lighter, and more able to tackle anything than ever before!! You'll get back to that place. Guaranteed!! 

 

[[re...]]

Thank you. Yes, mine started with dizzy spells. I had no idea this could come back as it has. So ignored the dizzy spells. Ignored the fatigue.  Ignored the five am wake ups. Ignored the irritability. And then wham. My CNS crashed. Once I get out of bed and back into my life you can rest assured I'll take it easy from here. I've suffered enough.  From here in out its peace and quiet. As much as possible.

 

 

[[Te...]]

:thumbsup:

[[Mo...]]

Bump

[[Te...]]

Does anyone know how she's doing? She hasn't posted in a long time. I'd be interested in what all the tests showed that she took and how she's feeling now.

[[ca...]]

Well this is really encouraging! Someone who counsels others in dealing with symptoms of withdrawal, tells us that she is going through wd again and then tells us that "we all heal". This isn't much different than the nonsense we get from our doctors who tell us that withdrawal don't last more than a month.

 

I have come to this site with the hope of getting information about what Benzos do to us and what to expect while healing from them. I've been healing for 3 years. I'm learning that this is becoming a vicious cycle instead of a healing process. I'm not one to give up and I won't. When someone comes across as a professional on here and makes the kind of comments that I have read I find it more than just a little irritating. Obviously the people giving advice and counseling need some professional help.

[[Fl...]]

Well this is really encouraging! Someone who counsels others in dealing with symptoms of withdrawal, tells us that she is going through wd again and then tells us that "we all heal". This isn't much different than the nonsense we get from our doctors who tell us that withdrawal don't last more than a month.

 

It's all "nonsense" in the sense that there is not much concrete proof about anything when it comes to this but I will take my chances getting my information from people who have been through it.

 

Also, there is no such thing as "going through withdrawal again". If you get hit with symptoms, you weren't healed, period. I don't agree with anyone who makes that kind of claim but it would be easy for someone to mistake a big window for being "healed". You can't really blame someone for not being able see into the future.

 

I have come to this site with the hope of getting information about what Benzos do to us and what to expect while healing from them. I've been healing for 3 years. I'm learning that this is becoming a vicious cycle instead of a healing process. I'm not one to give up and I won't. When someone comes across as a professional on here and makes the kind of comments that I have read I find it more than just a little irritating. Obviously the people giving advice and counseling need some professional help.

 

It can be both a viscous cycle and a healing process.....those two things aren't mutually exclusive. I'm not sure what you expect of people who try to help people while they are going through this themselves. We are truly the blind leading the blind and there are no "heroes" in this. This is an ugly, painful and for many of us life altering deal and everyone is just doing the best they can to try to make it through.

[[ne...]]

I totally agree with FloridaGuy. Besides, I could never be bitter towards someone that has gone through so much suffering and struggling as she did. Whatever wrong she might have done, I am sure it has been paid for ten fold. I wish her only the very best.

[[Te...]]

Jennifer had a lot of really great insights and wrote a wonderful blog. How much healing we have done and need to do, no one knows, least of all those going through it. It's such a difficult process. It's hard to know when it's really over for good. She thought she was sufficiently healed to handle stress, but she found out otherwise. I'm glad she's not going to be counseling people anymore and will focus on herself and her health - what SHE wants to do to feel good.

[[ci...]]

I wish Dr. Jenn the very best.She has a good heart and soul. I understand when one has to take time for themselves in this process and focus on their own healing.

[[La...]]

If the people who have tried to give back and help others wish to take time off or away, or if they wish to move onto something else, then that's their right. I wish them well.

[[Pe...]]

What a heartless thing to say about someone who cares enough and made sacrifices to help others. Where would any of us be without support from people like her, and forums like this? I don’t think anyone is claiming to be a professional, only to have experience and some limited knowledge based on that experience. Even Heather Ashton’s work is based on limited experience.

You cannot sugar coat the fact that some of us have more lengthy and complex withdrawal syndromes for a variety of reasons. Fortunately most recover in a few years and don’t look back.

[[La...]]

I'm glad to see that most of the responses here show empathy and respect. Those things should guide all of our actions -- especially in the often-fraught world of online communication.

[[Gr...]]

I'm glad to see that most of the responses here show empathy and respect. Those things should guide all of our actions -- especially in the often-fraught world of online communication.

 

So true Lapis. Well said.

[[br...]]

I agree.The bottom line is that we all have to do what is the right and best thing for us. We take responsibility for our own healing. A lot of us got into this mess because we listened when we should have questioned  and followed someone else's direction about what the best course of action was. Now we know better and are the captains of our own ships, safely guiding them into harbour, albeit through rocky waters.

[[La...]]

Yes, the waters are darn rocky! As a very dizzy dame who feels like she's always on a boat, yup, the waters are very rocky. 

 

Anyway, when it comes to others who have come back to help those going through the brutal experience of withdrawal, I have much gratitude and respect. It's a beautiful thing to do.

[[Gr...]]

Anyway, when it comes to others who have come back to help those going through the brutal experience of withdrawal, I have much gratitude and respect. It's a beautiful thing to do.

 

It is Lapis! And I was reminded of something I saw online one day...

 

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n108/PioneerSpirit/Clipart/FB_IMG_1512928718833.jpg

[[br...]]

 

And again, the tragedy is that those buckets are going to be needed for a long. long time. We need this poison to be taken of the market.

Enough already !!!!!!.  :nono: :nono: :nono:

[[La...]]

It won't happen, brave rabbit. Benzos have their place in medicine, and they're on the WHO list of essential medicines (for anxiety). However, they must be used judiciously and appropriately. I would venture to guess that that did not happen for any of us.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WHO_Model_List_of_Essential_Medicines#Muscle_relaxants_(peripherally-acting)_and_cholinesterase_inhibitors 

[[ca...]]

To those that have taken my comment and turned what I said into an attack on someone going through Benzo withdrawal, I have this to say.

I understand how people can get frustrated with all of this. We want answers! All of us need to be careful about taking advice. I appreciate the research others have done and shared with others. I have done the same! I try to encourage others as I have been encouraged. I can only share what I have gone through and try to give those in the early stages of this some idea what to expect. Outside of that, we are doing more harm than good. I've not followed Jennifer Leigh or been on her web site. I don't intend to! As with anyone on here that has looked for help and encouragement I hope that she gets relief from this Hell. On this post, what I have read is not encouraging! Losing soldiers in the fight? I made a comment on how I feel and got labeled "heartless". FYI, When someone says that they counsel others, that means they consider themselves as a professional. 

 

Thanks

[Guest [De...]]

Camre,

 

You are correct.When you charge clients $100 an hour for a talk session that is considered working as a professional.

 

Dez

[[Te...]]

I think she did figure that she was healed, or at least mostly healed. This is what is so fearful about benzos. We don't know when this hell will be over. We think we're in the clear, but something, be it an antibiotic, an extremely frightening situation that lasts for awhile, one drink too many, etc., and we're in hell again for months. From what I read, Jennifer went on a long trip through treacherous weather, out of her element. She thought she could handle it.

 

I've read success stories and then learned that the person was in hell again, but didn't want to say anything. I think I would wait at least a good year without symptoms to post a success story, if I ever do. It's something to think about, anyway.