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Its been two years... :)


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The burning icy hot fire under my skin is gone.


The heat flashes haven't been around for a very long time.


I want to say that you will pop out of the nightmare like its nothing, but what is happening is what will make or break you. You will be surprised as to how strong you will become. The symptoms do lesson over time!!! Yourself needs you to love yourself and now that its carefully putting you back together a little at a time. 


I am now a light sleeper and once I wake up I normally don't go back to sleep and its early. I can sleep though and if my body is very exhausted and stressed I will sleep a lot longer. Almost like a baby :) THE SEVERE SLEEP ISSUES ARE MOSTLY COMPLETELY GONE.


I don't have ringing anymore that went away first though. :)


I now possess some interesting quirks... I am afraid of elevators, heights, theres some fears that perpetuate in my relationship, ect.... but fear doesn't really rule my days the way it did. I can acknowledge my fears and I am now mentally strong enough where I choose if they control me. Generally its matters that rule the heart that are the most uncontrollable but thats how I've been from the beginning. I would say that I am a total 180. I am not spastic, shaking scared over everything... I feel a calmness is inside me that is much different than before :)


I can control myself, my thoughts, emotions, reactions much more now. Very few people can even make me cry. If I get to the point of crying I cant really talk until I calm down. Thats anyones worst though. A lot of the matters get dealt well because I have a different awareness of myself. I am not that bipolar, fear based, crazed mess the medication made me at first. I would say it became like a dark side to me that came out less and less over time. It very rarely does and even now when it does I don't lose my whole self to it. I still have the self I made since then that holds up well. In fact I would go as far to say I learn from the shadow to an extent.


My blood pressure, charts look normal again.


My chemical sensitivities have lessoned somewhat, I still have them but they're not as intense and overpowering. I still deal with the swelling in my face though I would say that it slightly lessoned which is great.


I moved a lot of times. I ended up moving to another state to get away from everything and everyone. I wanted to start new. Me and my boyfriend got a place together. We've dated since Dec 2015. I hadn't worked a job in so long..years even....I started working my first job in a long time when I moved out of state 8 or so months ago and then upgraded to a better one a month ago with better pay thats just three blocks away. I really like it and I am making the most money at a job than I ever have. I got a cat and I would say it has helped the anxiety and a pet is really helpful in these situations.


I have taken some supplements that have helped me, but be mindful that I had other health conditions which is what made my withdrawal so hard. I was getting poisoned by toxic mold in the apartment at the same time that I was withdrawing and thats really what fucked me over. Now I'm in a nice GORGEOUS apartment, with a cute cat and a boyfriend while we have our struggles he has been there for me and been my support even when he clearly does not understand. To get through this you will find strength, belief in yourself. That is what is most important. It will challenge parts to yourself that would have challenged you anyways. Learning how to deal with stressful, anxiety causing situations, or even just how to relax to fall asleep is something you have to learn but not just to solve the original old problem that was in your head now you have to do it on order to not let the medication steal your heart, soul and mind. You need people who will believe you and will recognize what you're going through. You have no time for other people. Being around people really helps, to have a couple friends who are the real deal is very important. You really don't need more than a couple. Familiar people help when you're really going through it too. 


The supplements that have helped me the most:


Vitamin D


Vitamin C

Vitamin B


Alpha Lipoic Acid GREAT ANTIOXIDANT it protects your brain and isn't overpowering like NAC

Colostrum It helped my sensitivities a little and still trying. Its very healing to the body.

Bacopa (I only took this when I felt that I needed my GABA receptors reset, most herbs are harsher on me because of how my original sickness affected me, but taking this daily should be fine for most)

Phosphatidylserine Amazing.


I recommend a few things that I just don't take due to finances or not wanting to mix too much together, but these are amazing and in no way second rate to the list above.These ones DEPEND ON THE PERSON.





Intravenous Vitamin Therapy! I have not done it but have seen how amazing it is.

CBD OIL This is VERY healing to the mind. Does not get you high and does not have THC if it is just CBD Oil.

I've heard people thinking about getting stem cell transplants for this, though I have not had one. I bring this up because I can only see good come from it and I think it is interesting.


There are many herbs that help with anxiety, but I personally do not deal well with many herbs that help anxiety that also don't fuck up the GABA receptors that really need to heal.


Anything that helps with inflammation:

Ginger, Peppermint, ect


Drinking clean water all the time.


Eating organic and only nutritious food, avoiding processed sugars, fake food, and educating yourself about what bad food is. Health fats will do a number for your brain.


Coconut oil


Exercise IS one of the most important things you can do. I started late because I was physically ill for other reasons, but it really helps!

If you can afford it get a fitness trainer. It will make you feel like you aren't even working out. 


At this point you need safe spaces. Safe people. Giving yourself safety and allowing yourself to have it is NOT wrong. Its what you need and as you heal you can get away from that safety.


ALSO my most awesome achievement is that I can smoke marijuana again. I couldn't without debilitating panic attacks. It would make the whole sensation of my body distorted. It would make me think crazy things that I was going to die or I had something wrong with me ect. Now I can do it with minimal experiences of anxiety. Once in a blue moon it will cause some anxiety but it hasn't in months. This to me is a sign that I have really healed.


I would say to heal this is to heal yourself. The original reason for needing the medication needs to be acknowledged and healed. You can do this. It gets better every step of the way. Its pretty nuts how long it takes, but the mind is powerful. You will become an interesting strong person and no one can take that away from you.


I wont deny that there wont be scars, I have them. But I am in a GREAT place in my life and I am happy! So heres to that! :smitten:



I will update later if I've missed anything. I havent posted very much but if you see my past posts you will see how horrific it was. It was worse than hell. Now I'm on earth away from the demon.

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Congratulations for you to make it to the other side!!!!  Thank you  for coming back and give us a hope. So happy for you and wish you a happy healthy life feeled with love and laughs.

Some day I just lose hope I will ever recover from this hell. 12 months out and no window yet. Suffering with bad burning headache all day every day.

Can I ask you did you had a headache? And if you had when did it go away?


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  • 2 weeks later...
Congratulations and thank-you for sharing your story!  Good to know about alpha-lipoic acid vs Nac-thanks!  So glad you are doing so well now :thumbsup:
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