13 months from detox/12 months from drinking

[[il...]]

I'm two weeks away from my 12-month mark from drinking when things went from shaky to absolutely and horrifically pathetic.

 

I still have a touch of apnea half the time. I still lotion my hands and feet at night to cool them. I still have very minor GI issues. Intrusive thinking still pops up. I still react to food, but it's slight and only half the time. Not 100%, but everything is ignorable. I interviewed three times for a management position at a local store and got the job! Totally functioning now. Taking it easy, but functioning.

 

Every one of my core 12 or so symptoms took their turn in the driver's seat for a couple weeks, since early Fall, but, it really does just get better and better. They just start breaking up and fading away like a puddle of water in the scorching desert sun.

 

I enjoy mental clarity, peacefulness, calmness, restored cognition. I've learned to put myself first. My ability to empathize is like never before. BUT, unlike before, I can switch it off, and not wallow in other's sorrow anymore.

 

It may take a couple weeks or a couple more months for the rest to shake itself out, but, every single night my body sleeps, every nutritious meal I eat, I heal. The pace has picked up since November. It used to take 2-3 weeks to notice improvement. Now it takes a few days to a (sometimes) a week, max.

 

I'm beyond grateful. Beyond thrilled. Beyond shocked at what the body can do. I want you all to know it truly gets sooooo much better. In many ways, I can already see why the healed say they're calmer now than before benzos or when on benzos. and I can already see why they say they live more than ever before. And that there isn't enough time in the day. It's nothing short of a blessing and a miracle.

 

To dragging my other foot across the finish line, and to hope for all of you newer guys!

 

God bless!

 

NEVER again

[Guest [We...]]

That's fantastic progress you've made! Awesome that you're pretty much out of this hell hole.

[[il...]]

That's fantastic progress you've made! Awesome that you're pretty much out of this hell hole.

 

Thanks, friend! How are you? You'll be here soon. The severity of what's left is almost comical. I've been knocking on wood since November.

[[Wi...]]

Thanks for posting. Stories like yours truly inspire and HELP others!

[[So...]]

Congrats I'llneverdothisagain! I feel almost like you do - ready to face the workplace, and knowing healing is around the corner. I'm still in what I call The Long Linger - feeling good but not quite good enough, along with glitches of mental turbulence that remind me this isn't over yet. Just need a bit more time. For me, it could be 2 weeks, or it could be another 3-4 months, but I do know that healing continues, and posts like yours only prove it.

 

Wondering, and this may be a topic for a separate post, but as you heal, how are you dealing with the triggers that got you on Xanax in the first place? For me, I always used a pill when flying (turbulence freaks me out), and before a high-stakes interview. I haven't had to face those things as I haven't flown or interviewed since withdrawal, but I wonder how people cope once withdrawal is actually over, and you're left to discover that it was never a pill that made you feel better, but knowing you were safe right as you are?

[Guest [We...]]

Thanks, friend! How are you? You'll be here soon. The severity of what's left is almost comical. I've been knocking on wood since November.

 

The last 30 days have been pretty much a setback for me, but I'm trying to hold on.

 

It's amazing to see someone claim that remnants of benzo withdrawal are comical -- I guess that's what's in store for us. 

[[il...]]

Thanks for posting. Stories like yours truly inspire and HELP others!

 

Sure thing, windwalker! That's exactly why I post celebrations!! Keep going!!

[[il...]]

Congrats I'llneverdothisagain! I feel almost like you do - ready to face the workplace, and knowing healing is around the corner. I'm still in what I call The Long Linger - feeling good but not quite good enough, along with glitches of mental turbulence that remind me this isn't over yet. Just need a bit more time. For me, it could be 2 weeks, or it could be another 3-4 months, but I do know that healing continues, and posts like yours only prove it.

 

Wondering, and this may be a topic for a separate post, but as you heal, how are you dealing with the triggers that got you on Xanax in the first place? For me, I always used a pill when flying (turbulence freaks me out), and before a high-stakes interview. I haven't had to face those things as I haven't flown or interviewed since withdrawal, but I wonder how people cope once withdrawal is actually over, and you're left to discover that it was never a pill that made you feel better, but knowing you were safe right as you are?

 

I was high functioning prior to taking benzos. I used to take them to fly, then at work, then I forgot how to cope and remember thinking "this is like getting drunk, but no hangover," and it went on from there. I'm reverting back to my old, high-functioning self, thank God! Positive thinking. Hell, after going through this crap, sometimes thugs that were "hard" before, are just plain old easy.

 

I hate turbulence, too!!!! I went to FLA twice this past summer. Luckily we didn't have any.

 

I'd say, if you're doing something that triggers you to take a benzo, and you can't get through it behaviorally, you shouldn't be doing it. Everyone has limits and restrictions and it's perfectly normal to have them.

 

Take flying ... can you take a train instead?

[[wh...]]

[[er...]]

Hey,

 

Good to hear how things are progressing!  Congratulations on getting that job too..!

 

I have that thing you mention about having to lotion your hands and feet at night too.. I seem to be having "more" than just some dry skin, like those areas hurt at night when I'm trying to go to sleep?  I've been using lotion, some advil if necessary and it's doable.

 

Keep it up, one day at a time!

 

Take care,

 

Eric

[[il...]]

Hey,

 

Good to hear how things are progressing!  Congratulations on getting that job too..!

 

I have that thing you mention about having to lotion your hands and feet at night too.. I seem to be having "more" than just some dry skin, like those areas hurt at night when I'm trying to go to sleep?  I've been using lotion, some advil if necessary and it's doable.

 

Keep it up, one day at a time!

 

Take care,

 

Eric

 

Eric! Great hearing from you. Today started off bumpy, but I got through orientation. I ate too much dairy yesterday. Salmon and spinach tonight!

 

Yes... weird... I think it's a mild version of neuropathy but from what I've gathered, neuropathy usually manifests as muscle burning and pain. This is more like a a dry and warm (skin, not muscle) feeling.

 

I make it clear I'm not done yet, but sooooooo much better. I pay attention to my diet. It's definitely caused some bumps in the road.

 

How are you??

 

One day at a time, my brother!!

[[ed...]]

Congrats !  It sure looks like a miracle !  I went through too many dramatic events in my life that I don't believe I could get better.  When I read your post I feel like this could never happen to me ; getting better.

 

I wish you lots of success in your new position !

 

Edou

[[il...]]

 

😘😘

[[il...]]

Congrats !  It sure looks like a miracle !  I went through too many dramatic events in my life that I don't believe I could get better.  When I read your post I feel like this could never happen to me ; getting better.

 

I wish you lots of success in your new position !

 

Edou

 

Of course you'll get better! Everyone does! And they all say "you'll just know," which I can already relate to. You WILL heal. Just keep going, exercise and nourish the body and brain.

 

God speed!