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Is is truly possible to heal 100%?


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No idea where to post this, but this is what has kept me from going off benzos for 20 years. I know that I can handle my anxiety at this point. I am no doubt tolerant of the drug anyway by now. But after hearing from so many people that we now are brain DAMAGED and cannot go back to 100% health if we go off has scared me beyond belief.

 

I am posting this in hopes to hear stories from those that have been on benzos long term and HAVE healed 100%. No more symptoms, no more withdrawal, healed. Are our brains able to be healthy like they once were? Or were all these naysayers only trying to scare me into staying on the drug, making me believe that the only way I can be functional and happy and symptom free is to stay on cause "you're not on that much anyway".

 

My decision to start tapering off 1mg of clonazepam is a scary one. I start in days when I get my new script for two 0.5mgs so I can taper easier (going liquid titration route btw) but all these thoughts are going on in my head. Will I be ME still? Will I have the life I have now? Will I be able to go off of this drug and live without being damaged????

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Yes you will heal, you will be you, but without benzos.  I got a glimpse into a me living a very much more active life shortly after tapering.  Then I realized just how lethargic I had become.  I though it was just aging.
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Yes, you will completely recover!

 

But...suppose you would only get 50% better.  Isn't 50%  an improvement over where you are now?

 

Focus on the upside!

 

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Thank you so much! But yeah, if I got 50% better, see, I haven't started the taper yet, and to be honest if I didn't know how horrible the drug is, I would stay on. It has no effect on me, nothing bad what-so-ever. Only that I know that I need to take a stupid drug every day so I won't withdrawal from it. I love my current life. Active, healthy, confident, HAPPY. I just want to know that I will be the same when I go off. Does that make sense? THIS IS TERRIFYING. The first time I tried to go off, I went right back on saying "It's not worth it. Why destroy my life, my happiness all because I want to stop taking a pill?" It's tough. But I DO NOT want to be dependent! I HATE this drug and I am so upset that I was ever put on it as a CHILD.

 

Knowing there is hope truly is wonderful. Just hearing you say that 100% healing is possible, NO BRAIN DAMAGE, ..thank you.

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Thank you so much! But yeah, if I got 50% better, see, I haven't started the taper yet, and to be honest if I didn't know how horrible the drug is, I would stay on. It has no effect on me, nothing bad what-so-ever. Only that I know that I need to take a stupid drug every day so I won't withdrawal from it. I love my current life. Active, healthy, confident, HAPPY. I just want to know that I will be the same when I go off. Dfoloes that make sense? THIS IS TERRIFYING. The first time I tried to go off, I went right back on saying "It's not worth it. Why destroy my life, my happiness all because I want to stop taking a pill?" It's tough. But I DO NOT want to be dependent! I HATE this drug and I am so upset that I was ever put on it as a CHILD.

 

Knowing there is hope truly is wonderful. Just hearing you say that 100% healing is possible, NO BRAIN DAMAGE, ..thank you.

Well, actually there are lots of folks out there that have taken benzos for years, and will continue to take them for the rest of their lives.  And most folks really don't notice any real effects from continuing to take them.  So at one point I was resigned to taking diazepam forever.  And I really didn't know it was having any effect.

 

I had some cognitive decline, but so do a lot of folks my age.  And I had become apathetic, lethargic, became somewhat indifferent to appearance and grooming, paid less attention to my home and yard, etc.  Again, I just figured this was probably normal aging.

 

But once I started by taper again, my energy increased, my self-image improved dramatically, I started buying new clothes, many other little changes.  In retrospect, the diazepam was causing some depression...well, benzos are depressants. 

 

Again, I did a slow, planned (micro) taper, I had very few sxs, none of them very significant, and once off, no lingering sxs.  I am sure I made the right decision.

 

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Key post by builder… especially do not miss the part about a slow taper.  I was also on a benzodiazepine for decades.  My taper wasn't too bad until I made a taper error near the end and it all changed dramatically.

 

You have a huge advantage by learning how to properly taper before you make a mistake.  This doesn't have to be horrible.

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I would discuss this with your doctor and see..

Do u have the time and space to get well?

What age were you put on?

That is horrible.

I am sorry

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I've been on 4 benzos non stop...even once 3 at the same time for over 3 decades. I'm not done my taper yet but even though it's difficult at times oh so worth it. Everyday is worth it. The good and the bad. I feel and get glimpses of who I am now compared to who I was 15 months ago. I believe without doubt I'll be back 100 percent. I know this on every good day I have. I feel like a jigsaw puzzle sometimes. A self portrait. Piece by slow piece the pieces are fitting in beautifully. I might look thirty years older but starting to finally feel thirty years younger. It's hard, complex and at times miserable and painful but I can't stress how happy I am to be coming back to myself and my family. Go for it. Worth a try. Slow and easy does it. B
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Thank you so much! But yeah, if I got 50% better, see, I haven't started the taper yet, and to be honest if I didn't know how horrible the drug is, I would stay on. It has no effect on me, nothing bad what-so-ever. Only that I know that I need to take a stupid drug every day so I won't withdrawal from it. I love my current life. Active, healthy, confident, HAPPY. I just want to know that I will be the same when I go off. Dfoloes that make sense? THIS IS TERRIFYING. The first time I tried to go off, I went right back on saying "It's not worth it. Why destroy my life, my happiness all because I want to stop taking a pill?" It's tough. But I DO NOT want to be dependent! I HATE this drug and I am so upset that I was ever put on it as a CHILD.

 

Knowing there is hope truly is wonderful. Just hearing you say that 100% healing is possible, NO BRAIN DAMAGE, ..thank you.

Well, actually there are lots of folks out there that have taken benzos for years, and will continue to take them for the rest of their lives.  And most folks really don't notice any real effects from continuing to take them.  So at one point I was resigned to taking diazepam forever.  And I really didn't know it was having any effect.

 

I had some cognitive decline, but so do a lot of folks my age.  And I had become apathetic, lethargic, became somewhat indifferent to appearance and grooming, paid less attention to my home and yard, etc.  Again, I just figured this was probably normal aging.

 

But once I started by taper again, my energy increased, my self-image improved dramatically, I started buying new clothes, many other little changes.  In retrospect, the diazepam was causing some depression...well, benzos are depressants. 

 

Again, I did a slow, planned (micro) taper, I had very few sxs, none of them very significant, and once off, no lingering sxs.  I am sure I made the right decision.

 

Wow. Yeah, I don't have any of those depression symptoms...yet. I also read somewhere that long term benzo use can cause early onset dementia. No Beuno. Hearing this is really helpful, builder. While my life right now is great, you are right that is CAN catch up with me. I AM still taking something that is NOT healthy for the body. I just really hope that I, too, have very low reactions. I know you read my plan, the 5% a month taper? Do you think that is good? or do you think maybe I'm being TOO cautious and I could get off sooner at maybe 7% a month? Sigh... I hate this whole thing.

 

I'm glad I am doing all my research now though BEFORE the taper. ...which is a week away. Eek!

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I would discuss this with your doctor and see..

Do u have the time and space to get well?

What age were you put on?

That is horrible.

I am sorry

 

Hi Jackson, I was put on at 15 years old. At a time when the brain is still growing and growing exponentially! I have time to get well yes, but I have three jobs and night school. Oh and I work with babies. SO I kind of NEED to not be hallucinating or have seizures. Ugh.

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There's zero proof that benzos cause early onset dementia or I'd be doomed. I wouldn't even bother with tapering at all. There's lots of evidence that high intake of gluten and glucose are related to dementia and Alzheimer's. Not to mention type 2 diabetes which is becoming alarming as is obesity in not just adults but kids.  So without being neurotic about it I'm more careful about what I chew and swallow and drink these days than swallowing my pill with water. I'm much more careful as to read articles with a much more discerning eye before I conclude if they are based in science or myth. "I read somewhere " doesn't cut it for me anymore so I'm very careful not to make statements that I simply can't back up with evidence. They tend to frighten a lot of people. Especially those who are vulnerable.  B
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I'd say don't let fear and this board determine how you feel about this. This board generally represents people who are having a hard time with benzos. There are probably a good percentage more who are not on this board because they are probably fine. I post more when I'm feeling worse because that's when I need more support. So as much as I really appreciate and love this board, it may skew towards the negative in some ways.

 

That being said, many people have gotten off with little to no terrible side effects if they do a slow taper. Really this is the only way to free yourself from the drug. I personally also wanted to be free but I realized benzos were dangerous after I had a bad experience, so before that I was doing well, and had no reason to go off.

 

I'm happy that I'm coming off even though some of it has been hard, but mostly because I already had some other stuff going on with withdrawal from another drug.

 

Once I stabilized more, the taper has not been that bad. Good luck. There is no wrong choice. Do what's best for you. Take it slow and you are likely to be successful.

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I'd say don't let fear and this board determine how you feel about this. This board generally represents people who are having a hard time with benzos. There are probably a good percentage more who are not on this board because they are probably fine. I post more when I'm feeling worse because that's when I need more support. So as much as I really appreciate and love this board, it may skew towards the negative in some ways.

 

That being said, many people have gotten off with little to no terrible side effects if they do a slow taper. Really this is the only way to free yourself from the drug. I personally also wanted to be free but I realized benzos were dangerous after I had a bad experience, so before that I was doing well, and had no reason to go off.

 

I'm happy that I'm coming off even though some of it has been hard, but mostly because I already had some other stuff going on with withdrawal from another drug.

 

Once I stabilized more, the taper has not been that bad. Good luck. There is no wrong choice. Do what's best for you. Take it slow and you are likely to be successful.

 

Thank you! This makes me feel good. I am going to try a 7% monthly taper to start. That is slow, yes? I shouldn't have problems with that? I hope that I too am one of the ones that only check in here and there because I don't have symptoms! Positive thinking!! How quickly or slowly are you tapering? Again, thank you for the reassuring words :)

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Honestly I spoke to an addict who took benzos for 10 years and he cold turkeyed and I think 3 years later he still has mini sezures
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