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if you had someone who didn't ask/care about your w/d, how would that make you


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...feel?

 

If you bring it up, they'll listen well.  But they never bring it up themselves.  So you feel unable to bring it up to them because you know they don't really wanna know.  They've admitted they don't want to get "depressed".  Would that change how you feel about them?  I don't even want to talk to my mother anymore.  Even small talk.  I'm going through all of this, all alone, I don't talk about it with her, and it makes me feel so distant from her.  But she doesn't understand why I'm shutting her out.  I can see it pains her.  I've told her, again and again, but she seems incapable of grasping it and/or changing her behavior.  I don't want this to be the thing that destroys our relationship forever.  I had a cold this week, and she was waiting on me hand and foot.  But benzo w/d?  Uh, no. 

 

Are my feelings normal?  Would you feel the same way, if you can't talk to a loved one about this?

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Sorry about your mother not getting it and not being sympathetic about your condition and only when you're sick helping you. No one in my life understands what I'm going through either and won't even try to get educated.  They don't believe me that I'm injured from these drugs.  They just keep telling me to get to the docs.  Why?  All the doc would do is want to give me another benzo or other drug, like an anti-depressant.  They know something is wrong with me, but think I'm just a mental case now. 
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I really don't know how to go about even telling anyone. The only person I have told is S/O but he doesn't fully understand it. For example he is at a loss to understand why I cannot carry a massive heavy bucket of coal inside and struggle to to even walk most of the time now. I can understand confusion, and I'd be happy to clear that up if someone actually took the time of day to listen instead of just coming out with 'oh, that's not possible' or 'here, try another addictive psych med and all your problems will go away'. I am very fed up and would love nothing more than for someone to 'get it' but I know they never will. I used to get up and face the day with a smile, now I'm lucky if I can sit up. People actually think I have got BETTER since stopping Benzos, and constantly tell me how well I look!. Well I don't look well, my face is white, my eyes are sunken, I can't walk, I can't stand up straight, I am so weak I sway on my feet, oh and loads more, what in the devil's name are these people seeing?!?!?!
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I have found there is something about discussing that makes people feel uncomfortable. I believe there is something people avoid when they talk about something mental rather than physical. I believe this is both but mostly perceived as mental. So the fact is I don't like discussing it either. I know I'm playing devils advocate which I love to do. The problem becomes whenever I catch up with anyone, which I had to do a lot of over the holidays, the conversation eventually shifts to "what are you doing with yourself" or "are you working" etc the truth is practically nothing so it is hard to have a comeback. I spend a lot of time studying politics and current events so I can make small talk.

 

I don't believe it is much they don't care as it is they don't know exactly what to say. I believe in a lot of cases they mean well. I definitely feel if you want to keep your relationship with your mom ask her about it and bring it out in the open. That way you guys can possibly move on together instead of apart.

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I have posted about this before and things haven't ever gotten better...no one at all in my immediate family has ever let me talk about what I am going through and they have never not once checked on me...and it makes me incredibly angry and want to cut them from my life...the one friend who will listen and commiserate went through an accidental cold turkey when traveling and suffered and had a seizure before getting a local med fill...even she does NOT want to know how horrible it is and the huge amount of symptoms...BECAUSE she is a 3mg a day user of XANAX for 30 years and has no wish to stop.

Even my Psych is tired of my symptoms, I think, he keeps redirecting me, LOL!!!

In many cases Davis1 is completely right, though and the advice to interact with Mom is right on target...because she has demonstrated she wants and will nurture you and I think your suffering and her inability to fix it for you is killing her!

I wish you the the best, spring50, and hug your Mom a lot!!!

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My daughter is the only one that truly understands what I am going through...and not because she has gone through it, but because she reads and reads about it.  My husband on the other hand....I just don't think he believes a person could have these same symptoms day after day....and that it is not physical symptoms so much as it is mental/emotional ones..tough for people to understand this.  I think he feels I am being a hypochondriac and/or not trying hard enough to push through all this crap.  So, I have to find my strength within myself and push through all of this.  It's an awfully lonely path to walk alone, but I want to get better and will be better.  All the best to all of you.
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It's very hard for people to relate who have never experienced this. I only talk about this in any great detail with my husband. He's VERY patient & supportive, thank GOD. In fact, I sometimes wonder if I'd have the strength to support him if the shoe was on the other foot. Sometimes I don't want to talk or interact at all, and he leaves me alone. If I want to talk, he listens, but I can tell he really doesn't get it. But that's okay. I would like to talk to my mom about this, but she gets overwhelmed & distressed for me (because she can't make it better like mom's want to do) so I no longer bring it up & she has NO idea how sick I am. Again, that's OK for now. Try & focus on getting better. I also have tried to find ways of being a blessing to others, even if all I can muster is a kind compliment or hug. I find that helps me as much as others.
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Your feelings are completely normal.

 

However, it's almost impossible to expect anyone to full understand what we are going through. *WE* can hardly understand what we are going through.

 

I've had to shut many friends out because I can just tell they don't understand, and that makes it harder for me, and them. Just don't get angry at them for not understanding. In a year it will all be completely different and you will be able to relate and communicate and talk to them just fine :)

 

To receive more compassion maybe try telling your mom about specific problems... like "I really have a headache today" and then they can give you more specific advice comfort... just telling someone "omg I feel like dying again today" day after day, people get confused. I've been there! I'm there now.

 

 

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Thanks everybody, for your great responses.  It's not just the benzo w/d, I've also become hypersensitive to EMF's (electromagnetic fields), and that's been another 2+ year sheer hell nightmare, and I've had to reduce my EMF exposure IN SPITE OF her because she doesn't , or has had trouble, believing me!

 

Davis1 made a good point, in that people don't really wanna talk about mental/emotional stuff.

 

I dunno, I've always been a grudge holder.  I just don't forget things. 

 

But like someone else said, these health issues just need to pass, and then I'll be thinking about other stuff and not needing the support, and THEN we'll be better.  Sounds wrong, but I think that's how it goes for a lot of people, eh?

 

Thanks all for the support!  I love you all! :smitten:

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I showed my parents the youtube trailer for the movie "As Prescribed"  (It is a benzo documentary currently in production).  I think this really helped my parents realize the severity of my symptoms.

 

Note:  I am not in any way affiliated with the movie, it was just something I found on youtube regarding benzo withdrawal

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I am alone in this too , there is only my Husband and Son who know and they have never mentioned it first ...I didn't say much  about it and hardly ever now because no one asked me any question at all ...to this day my Husband will still say ... you go to bed if your tired ...(  I haven't slept since starting my taper hardly two and a half years ago) ...I have complained about the Insomnia ...It shows how much he really believed ...New Years Eve ...are we going out ...(  I can't even go shopping yet) My Son does it for me bless him...though my Son doesn't mention it he does listen ....for 5 minutes ...people just would never believe these symptoms ..I don't believe them or Insomnia or the time it's taking ...It's to hard but why don't you go to you tube and get the video of Matt Samet ..It is read by a woman and it tells it just like it is from the first withdrawal week...they can listen ...they don't have to read or watch ...then there is the open letter written to a doctor called ...WHY.. they will at least have more understanding and know this is the truth and reality ....It is upsetting I know ....Love Tass.x
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