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Just cut the last pills of my 2 plus year taper....hard to believe


[my...]

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Hello BB's,

 

I wanted to write not only to report this bit of good news...but also to hold out hope for those who are suffering and in the early stage - or middle stage - or even in the later stages of their tapers.  Eventually, if you stick with it, it ends.

 

My taper has been difficult, tedious, painful and LONG.  At the beginning I drew up schedules, then threw them out...cut too much, then held to stabilize...once for as long as 4 months.  You can look at my signature to get some idea of how it went, in terms of my cuts (I chose cut and hold but progressed at about the same rate as one who is doing a reasonable micro taper).  What is not reflected is how difficult some of the times were and how much the people on this site helped me through them.  I'm not sure - no, I KNOW, I could not have accomplished this taper "project" without the support and friendship of people on this site.  Many of those people completed their tapers and aren't around much anymore...and I miss them but will never forget them....you know who you are...but I'll name a few: Challis, SG,  Saul, Clona, Bets, WR, Maya, Daisies, Burned and all the KK folks....wonderful BB friends...  :smitten: :smitten:

 

So, today I shaved the last .006 gram bits into the pill container...4 more days until I say good bye to Klonopin for good.  My husband and I are going to have some little ceremony where we ditch the remaining pills - 2 full bottles of Klonopin.  I never want to see those pills again...

 

For those who advise us to "throw out the calendars" - I say...just make new ones. I kept revising and reworking my schedule but for the past 6 months or so, I have not had to adjust it but rather have been able to cut every 10 days and let nothing else get in the way. The pages of schedules and the ticked off cuts, are a testament to how far I've come -- and how something that seems so endless actually ends.

 

I'm not special, not especially brave...just very determined to get my life back.

 

I know jumping won't be easy.  This past week, I've had some withdrawal sxs that have been intense and surprised me..but I think it's because the percentage of this last cut was 50% -- and even though it's 50% of the teeniest speck of pill..it is still an adjustment.  It also has been a change from dosing 3 X a day to one time a day, since the scale I use cannot register .002 grams!!  All this to indicate how potent this drug is that I have been on - wrongly prescribed and stupidly taken "as prescribed" for four years before realizing the harm it was causing me.

 

I may not post on my jump date, but I'll update my signature.  I just wanted to write this evening to express my gratitude for all the people I mentioned - and all those I didn't.  To thank Colin, for creating this incredible forum...and to offer hope and encouragement to those a little bit behind me.  You will get to the finish line, as I did....a little tired...a little uncertain about how long true recovery will take but with a full heart and a lot of hope for the new year and beyond.

 

Mana 

 

 

 

 

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Wow, that's quite an accomplishment! Congratulations on finally getting (nearly) there and I love the idea of the ceremony for bidding bye-bye to the unwanted remaining pills.

 

Thanks for the inspiration!  :angel:

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[e1...]

Great post! Thnx 4 sharing. Wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new (benzo free) year. This I what we need we who still are taper our meds. I have reach more than half of my way to become free from the chains of benzo.  I had 20

mg from the beginning and now I am on 8,75 mg. But I feel progress in my recovery every day even with bad sx when I withdrawal my Valium. Good luck to you 😊

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Congrats Mana!

 

That's awesome. I am about a week or 2 behind you and I will be finishing up my 25 month taper after a much longer use of Kpin. My experience has been about the same as yours. Not at all easy, but much easier than my 1st rushed 9 month taper. I am down to specs of dry cuts too, but still noticing it because it is a 50% cut too. We are through the hardest part for sure.

 

Patrick

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So happy to read this, mana... three more days til your last pill makes your benzo freedom a perfect Christmas gift.  Very appropriate, as this is the gift that keeps on giving.  As the days, weeks and months go by, they will bring you tiny signs of healing as the symptoms diminish and drop away.

Love,

Chal  :smitten:

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Great post and thrilled for you. You've given yourself the best Christmas present in the world. So hope you do celebrate and imagine 2017 absolutely benzo free. What a wonderful fresh start and your words are an encouragement to all. B  :smitten:
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Congrats Mana!

 

That's awesome. I am about a week or 2 behind you and I will be finishing up my 25 month taper after a much longer use of Kpin. My experience has been about the same as yours. Not at all easy, but much easier than my 1st rushed 9 month taper. I am down to specs of dry cuts too, but still noticing it because it is a 50% cut too. We are through the hardest part for sure.

Patrick

 

Yes, Patrick!  We are....thanks so much for your post..  all the best to you as you finish your taper. :)

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Thanks, Jenny...you'll get there...what a lesson in patience!  And rough ride -- you too  :)

 

Challis, some of the things you wrote way back when have helped me through this process...thanks for the continued encouragement. 

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Can't wait to read your success story, Kay!  So nice of you to drop by and encourage us  :)

 

And Clona....what can I say??  :smitten:  I'll send you a note on jump day  ;)  Have a beautiful Christmas.

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