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48 DAYS CT I SEE HOPE


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Hey BB,

 

I'm writing this because I wanted to let everyone out there know what's going on with me. Today was a kick ass excellent day. I went Xmas shopping for my Fiance. I went to bloomingdale's. Stood in line holding a bunch of bags. And women staring at me as to why I was in the hand bag section. ( I AM A MALE LOL) I actually was able to have a conversation with a bunch of people without freaking the fuck out. I guess that's a good thing right? I made a few meetings. I came home told my brothers a bunch of jokes. I also had a conversation with a room full of strangers and made everyone laugh. I have always been a fun loving funny joking person. Always had a smile on my face. I haven't been able to find a piece of my old self in these 48 days. But I know that there is a chance in hell that I will get better and be able to live life without Xanax. As crazy as this sounds. I actually don't know what tomorrow will bring. I don't know if I will have a good day a foggy day. But all I know is that I need to try. Half the battle is to show up and try. If you don't try what the fuck do we have left? I guess it's a glimmer of hope that I have given myself. I'm going to go to bed soon. I hope you all are doing well.

 

Best,

 

Mooseman

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I'm really happy to hear you had a good day. That is a sign of good things to come for you. Congrats, hope everyday is the same. That personality is def in there somewhere.
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