Anyone have extreme apathy and OCD from withdrawal?

[[Ca...]]

I find myself more and more wanting to avoid people and when I am with them, find I have nothing to say....other than remark upon my symptoms.  This is causing me to become very isolated.  I also notice that I have developed OCD behaviors that I engage in during the day to get through the day.  If I don't walk, I feel extremely agitated; I have to get the mail right away; I have numerous appointments during the week for PT, chiropractor, acupuncture, "therapy", and am very obsessive about these appointments .  On the weekend I literally do not know how to pass the time.

 

I am so afraid this is permanent.  I wasn't this bad in acute withdrawal in rehab or when I first came home.

 

I cannot read or watch TV as they no longer interest me.

 

I don't like calling people on the phone.  It scares me.  I text everyone but now I even find that I don't have much to say on text.

 

I have severe lumbar spine pain since my taper.  I learned I have degenerative disc disease but I had never had any problems from it until now.  That is also making me fearful of being with people.

 

I am grateful that I can drive, and walk a few miles daily, and go to these appointments, but I have been able to do all of that since returning home late July.

 

I feel as if my brain is just shutting down.

 

Any feedback would be appreciated.

 

 

[[er...]]

Hey, I can relate to the apathy part of what you're talking about.. As a previously very enthusiastic person, feeling intense apathy has been rough for me to deal with.. I have been able to watch TV a lot during my taper and recovery, so we're a little different there, but I have definitely not been too ambitious lately..

 

I do think we need to actively participate in our recoveries, and in a crude "exposure therapy" kind of way, we need to do the things that make us uncomfortable.  Like calling people on the phone, taking a walk around the block.  Going to stores with lots of people in them, etc..

 

I didn't find therapy helpful at all during my early days off of clonazepam.  I could never remember what the guy had said, and I just ended up wasting a lot of money - that insurance did not reimburse me for later..  I have done acupuncture in the past though and have found it really great - but now, I really have to be careful about money, so that's out for now.

 

If you don't know what to do on the weekends, maybe you could find a place to volunteer for?  I know that getting back to work helped me immensely! 

 

I do know that if I didn't try to help myself during this recovery, that I would be much worse off than I am today - and in pushing myself to do uncomfortable things, things gradually became more comfortable to do.. If you're getting very isolated (and you're noticing that), then do whatever you can to "re-engage" in society at whatever level we can do at present - and then, over time, you will begin to improve, ever so slowly.. This isn't "permanent", however, it does feel that way lots of times!

 

Hope this helps a bit?

 

Eric