41 DAYS OUT HELP!!!

[[mo...]]

HEY BB,

 

I'VE BEEN 41 DAYS OUT SINCE MY LAST DOSE. CUT OUT WEED, ALCOHOL, AND CAFFEINE. I HAVE BEEN GETTING NAUSEA AND REALLY BAD HEADACHES. DOES THIS SHIT EVER STOP! GOD HELP ME! IT'S ANNOYING AS HELL. I GET THIS SENSE OF DIZZINESS. I DON'T KNOW WHEN THE END WILL BE IN SIGHT. PLEASE HELLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP ARRRGGGGHHH!

:idiot: :idiot:

[[Da...]]

When I was 41 days out I had the exact symptoms you are describing. I was dizzy and I fell down a lot. I could not eat or sleep and I had terrible headaches. It took me almost 60 days to get out of the acute phase. Some people think that is because I quit cold turkey. That it would not have lasted that long and I still have a lot of symptoms today at one year out. But those are mostly acute symptoms but they will pass. Things will get better just stick with it. I know how difficult it is to believe that but it is true.

[[mo...]]

DUDE! IT SUCKS. I QUIT COLD TURKEY AFTER DETOX. THEY DID A QUICK MEDICAL TAPER. THEY PUT ME ON LIBRIUM. AND TAPERED ME DOWN IN 4 DAYS. HELL ON EARTH WAS UNLEASHED. NEED TO SHAKE THIS OFF. I WANT TO GET BACK TO WORK. CAN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING BACK INTO WORK WITH THESE TYPE OF SYMPTOMS.

[[Da...]]

I know we have a lot in common because that is what they did to me too. Like a 5 day rehab taper with Librium. Like I said I had like a 60 day acute phase, for most people it is more like 30 days. I guess the cold turkey must have put us in a different category. Hang in there man things will get better. You will be back to work and feel a lot better.

[[lo...]]

if this is any help, I tapered slowly and still suffer acute. i am starting to wonder what the difference between ct and taper

[[so...]]

Don't worry about CT.  If that's the way you came off the drugs, so be it.  We are lucky we didn't have seizures.  CT does not effect the duration of your journey.  Acute may be a lot tougher with CT, but we all even out.  People who keep insisting that CT dooms them to being protracted are reading scary posts from buddies who are miserable and frightened.  You will recover 100% when your GABA receptors heal and start working properly.  Most people completely heal in 2-3 years and it is not a living hell every day like it is in acute.  Just try your best to cope with the symptoms as they arise and you will be fine.

 

Sofa

[[mo...]]

HERE IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CT AND TAPER. IT'S THE SAME SHIT. WE ALL GO THROUGH WD. IF YOU GO COLD TURKEY YOU'RE FUCKED. IF YOU TAPER YOU'RE STILL FUCKED. SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE JACK NICKELSON IN THE MOVIE AS GOOD AS IT GETS. "IS THIS AS GOOD AS IT GETS" FML FML FML....

[[lo...]]

i tend to think that acute might be rougher and maybe longer if ct

but is still hell

HERE IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CT AND TAPER. IT'S THE SAME SHIT. WE ALL GO THROUGH WD. IF YOU GO COLD TURKEY YOU'RE FUCKED. IF YOU TAPER YOU'RE STILL FUCKED. SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE JACK NICKELSON IN THE MOVIE AS GOOD AS IT GETS. "IS THIS AS GOOD AS IT GETS" FML FML FML....

[[Da...]]

I agree with Sofakingdone. A lot of people say that the duration with CT will be longer. I don't agree with that. Yes acute is harder for us and we have to suffer but mine passed. I thought by today at 1 year out I would be totally healed but I'm not. It is frustrating and def want to go to the "ill never get any better" school of thought. You are right mooseman123 we are still fucked. Taper or CT we all suffer. It is a matter of believe you will get better. I have seen a lot of improvements so that keeps me hopeful.

[[lo...]]

i tend to think that there is something in the brain that even with a taper, the brain doesn't heal till the drug is fully out for a while. that might be not true for all people, but I see in my case, i held as low as 0.03K for some time, and still got hit 1 week post jump. now what effect has 0.03? absolutely non medically.  and my taper was on the easy side.

my heart goes truly to people who have a hellish taper at doses like 2mg clonazepam. those who get off like that deserve a medal of honor

[[so...]]

If we could all just get out of our heads, withdrawal would be much less horrific than it is.  Yes, these symptoms are bizarre.  For some people they are downright painful.  The biggest obstacle we have in weathering this shitstorm is our thinking, our constant ruminating about what's going on inside us.  The anxiety we ALL have in common is brutal.  The symptoms that pop in are uncomfortable.  The fear they create in us is astronomical. 

 

Benzos do not cause permanent damage.  They altered our Gaba receptors and the way they previously worked harmoniously with the neurotransmitters before we took the drugs.  That's all.  We get off the drugs.  Our brains, our GABA receptors, our neurotransmitters and our CNS have to now go back to working properly together, to readapt naturally without the interference of the benzo, supplements, alcohol or adjunct meds that effect the GABA receptors. 

 

It is a scientific proven fact that we have close to a trillion GABA receptors throughout our whole body.  They are downregulated right now, some are soaked limp by the benzos we took, others died off, the rest just aren't partnering up with the excitatory neurotransmitters and working properly to keep us balanced.  That's all it is.  Science.  Biology 101.  Everything in our bodies moves in a domino effect.  One thing fucks up and it fucks up lots of other things in succession.  That's why it seems like no orifice, organ, muscle tissue, vessel, ligament, limb, tooth, eyeball, nose, skin, hair or ANYTHING goes untouched by this healing process.

 

So here we are.  Temporarily fucked up.  That's all.  Waiting it out.  Any doctor will tell you that healing damaged nerves takes years sometimes.  Well, folks, that's where we are.  We need to let time heal us because that's the only thing that will.  And that's a hard pill to swallow.

 

Sofa

[[lo...]]

well said sofakingdone.

i dont think however you have an entire trillion downregulated. you would be dead. you have a percentage of them down. and that percentage might be still enough to make you feel like shit. now why we feel more shit in acute then post acute we never learn. but it takes a tiny pain in the body to make the entire person feel like shit.

 

[[mo...]]

I agree with Sofakingdone. A lot of people say that the duration with CT will be longer. I don't agree with that. Yes acute is harder for us and we have to suffer but mine passed. I thought by today at 1 year out I would be totally healed but I'm not. It is frustrating and def want to go to the "ill never get any better" school of thought. You are right mooseman123 we are still fucked. Taper or CT we all suffer. It is a matter of believe you will get better. I have seen a lot of improvements so that keeps me hopeful.

 

This is what hell must feel like being lost in your own body and mind. And not knowing what to do in order to fix it. A lot of people that suffer like us will go back to doing a form of a benzo. Because the withdrawals are just too uncomfortable to bare. And then they find out the hard way that they cannot stop using. And or they finally figure out after that this is no way to live. The struggle and journey of getting your mind back is challenging. For those that are looking to quit. If you can and have the will to do so. CT is a bitch. It's torture. I personally don't know anyone that has done a taper off of benzo's so I wouldn't know if it does or does not get easier. All I can say is that it has to be uncomfortable. This isn't fun. Benzo's were fun when we first started taking them. Then after the individual realizes that this is not normal and we cannot keep taking this it becomes a sort of an awakening. And we notice that we want to quit. Some go through detox some taper down. At the end of the day it's a daily struggle. PS: THIS SUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[[mo...]]

If we could all just get out of our heads, withdrawal would be much less horrific than it is.  Yes, these symptoms are bizarre.  For some people they are downright painful.  The biggest obstacle we have in weathering this shitstorm is our thinking, our constant ruminating about what's going on inside us.  The anxiety we ALL have in common is brutal.  The symptoms that pop in are uncomfortable.  The fear they create in us is astronomical. 

 

Benzos do not cause permanent damage.  They altered our Gaba receptors and the way they previously worked harmoniously with the neurotransmitters before we took the drugs.  That's all.  We get off the drugs.  Our brains, our GABA receptors, our neurotransmitters and our CNS have to now go back to working properly together, to readapt naturally without the interference of the benzo, supplements, alcohol or adjunct meds that effect the GABA receptors. 

 

It is a scientific proven fact that we have close to a trillion GABA receptors throughout our whole body.  They are downregulated right now, some are soaked limp by the benzos we took, others died off, the rest just aren't partnering up with the excitatory neurotransmitters and working properly to keep us balanced.  That's all it is.  Science.  Biology 101.  Everything in our bodies moves in a domino effect.  One thing fucks up and it fucks up lots of other things in succession.  That's why it seems like no orifice, organ, muscle tissue, vessel, ligament, limb, tooth, eyeball, nose, skin, hair or ANYTHING goes untouched by this healing process.

 

So here we are.  Temporarily fucked up.  That's all.  Waiting it out.  Any doctor will tell you that healing damaged nerves takes years sometimes.  Well, folks, that's where we are.  We need to let time heal us because that's the only thing that will.  And that's a hard pill to swallow.

 

Sofa

 

 

Sofa,

 

I love you. Will you marry me lolol

 

~Mooseman123.

[[lo...]]

moose: it sucks ass, my thinking is that once you get through acute hell, and start having some windows, hope is visible, and the rest gets easier. i hope it comes for you on the sooner side.

[[mo...]]

moose: it sucks ass, my thinking is that once you get through acute hell, and start having some windows, hope is visible, and the rest gets easier. i hope it comes for you on the sooner side.

 

 

It sucks not being able to trust yourself with your body. And knowing that if you look for a job and get hired. Will you be able to preform at work without having to freak out that your going through withdrawals. It's very disappointing. Not the way I envisioned living life in my early thirties.

[[lo...]]

it will no last your entire 30s you can be sure of that. give yourself couple of weeks more and it will decrease. you might not be 100% in couple weeks, but managable.

everybody gets there

moose: it sucks ass, my thinking is that once you get through acute hell, and start having some windows, hope is visible, and the rest gets easier. i hope it comes for you on the sooner side.

 

 

It sucks not being able to trust yourself with your body. And knowing that if you look for a job and get hired. Will you be able to preform at work without having to freak out that your going through withdrawals. It's very disappointing. Not the way I envisioned living life in my early thirties.

[[so...]]

Locutus,

 

Of course all trillion of our receptors aren't messed up, silly.  But enough of them are not working properly in synch with the excitatory neurotransmitters and we are symptomatic as a result.

 

Acute is worse than the later phases because receptors grow back every 7-8 weeks. They need to mature and partner with attractive neurotransmitters, which are, right now running amok around our bodies like madmen with their hair on fire. 

 

Eventually, we go from a flat screeching moaning high school marching band of untalented zit faced kids to a finely tuned philharmonic orchestra.

 

Sofa

[[so...]]

Moose,

 

I'm game.  You rich?

 

Sofa

[[lo...]]

sofakingdone makes sense. that is why I think acute during sleep isn't as bad (for those who sleep). those firing neurons are not as active, and the lack or downregulation of gaba doesn't feel as bad.

even when I wake up during the night, I am not as anxious - actually quiet happy that it still 3am or so, and my body will let me sleep some longer. it is when 6am crosses and i can't force myself back to sleep and the horror starts

[[mo...]]

sofakingdone makes sense. that is why I think acute during sleep isn't as bad (for those who sleep). those firing neurons are not as active, and the lack or downregulation of gaba doesn't feel as bad.

even when I wake up during the night, I am not as anxious - actually quiet happy that it still 3am or so, and my body will let me sleep some longer. it is when 6am crosses and i can't force myself back to sleep and the horror starts

 

I have been taking sleeping aids to sleep. Tylenol pm seems to work like a charm. Without it i'd never go to bed. Even when I take it. I'm finding myself sleeping at 2 am. I guess its better than no sleep

 

[[lo...]]

i take seroquel at the moment, its like a strong version of an antihistamine at low doses. the suffering would be 2x as bad without this. not a fan of more chemicals, but sometimes needed to get you through

 

sofakingdone makes sense. that is why I think acute during sleep isn't as bad (for those who sleep). those firing neurons are not as active, and the lack or downregulation of gaba doesn't feel as bad.

even when I wake up during the night, I am not as anxious - actually quiet happy that it still 3am or so, and my body will let me sleep some longer. it is when 6am crosses and i can't force myself back to sleep and the horror starts

 

I have been taking sleeping aids to sleep. Tylenol pm seems to work like a charm. Without it i'd never go to bed. Even when I take it. I'm finding myself sleeping at 2 am. I guess its better than no sleep