1 year!

[[il...]]

Hi, everyone!

 

Welp, I hit the 1 year mark. Unfortunately, I know I'd be done by now if I hadn't drank, as most of my sxs came on only after drinking last January 20th, which is what I consider my true 1-year mark.

 

I'm almost functioning. I work as a private chef because it's easy, and although I'm much, much, much better, I still have have flare ups and upticks, so it's hard to trust it enough to get a "real" job out there. But, that's not to say that most of the time, I couldn't do it.

 

Looking back, the first 6 months, everything was constant. The following 3 months, everything started breaking up, giving me small windows and dampening down. The following 3, leading up to today, provided me with noticeable improvements every few days, and *real* windows of clarity, normalcy and sanity. I can say now that I truly have way more good times than bad. Glory to God!

 

Earlier on, I swore a few times I was close to being done - the windows have been confusing. BUT I learned to tell the difference between windows and new baselines. I remember convincing myself, doubting, questioning, like most. Hell, I still question every few days, before another turn comes. But, like my first mentor said, "you'll just know," and I have. Every turn, baseline improvement and stride towards complete healing have been very noticeable. It's like Christmas morning each time.

 

And today I'm thrilled to *know* I am almost done. From 6 months to 11 months, it would take 2-3 weeks to see noticeable differences in my baseline. Since early November, it has taken big turns every few days. They say it speeds up at the end, so I am confident I'll be done soon. I'm finally down to a handful of sxs, most of which are simply annoying. And yes - tinnitus and hyperacousis do go AWAY! My hyperacousis dropped last month, and my tinnitus is literally barelt there anymore.

 

Hang on. Drink plenty of water. *Eat right*. Cry. Laugh. Talk. Post. Pray. Do whatever you have to do to get through. It really does get better and better and better.... take care of yourself and don't listen to horror stories.

 

I'm left with:

 

•sleep apnea

•oh-so mild tinnitus

•brain zaps upon waking, a few days a week and VERY mild

•spurts of mild anxiety 

•mild flare-ups after eating, about half of the time, which bring on intrusive thinking

•intrusive thinking - mainly connected to after I eat or when I smoke

•AM anxiety about half of the time, 90% improvement in severity

•moments of feeling cognitively impaired still, severity of those moments have improved by about 75%, though. Most of the time I feel just about my old self. Just about!

 

I could probably write a success story claiming to be almost done, but I really want to save the excitement for when I really am 100% healed! I expect, pray and hope that at or around my true 1-year mark - January 20th - I'll be writing my success story.

 

God bless you all! Keep trucking!

[[wh...]]

So happy (happy is an understatement)  for you my friend !!  You are at the finish line !!  You always make me laugh even at my worst !! Thank you for being you ! 

[[il...]]

So happy (happy is an understatement)  for you my friend !!  You are at the finish line !!  You always make me laugh even at my worst !! Thank you for being you ! 

 

Like everything else has, anything remaining will just go, and could any day now for both of us! You've been my absolute rock through this. I literally don't know where I'd be without you! Almost there, hun! Almost!!!

[[Tr...]]

Hi, everyone!

 

Welp, I hit the 1 year mark. Unfortunately, I know I'd be done by now if I hadn't drank, as most of my sxs came on only after drinking last January 20th, which is what I consider my true 1-year mark.

 

I'm almost functioning. I work as a private chef because it's easy, and although I'm much, much, much better, I still have have flare ups and upticks, so it's hard to trust it enough to get a "real" job out there. But, that's not to say that most of the time, I couldn't do it.

 

Looking back, the first 6 months, everything was constant. The following 3 months, everything started breaking up, giving me small windows and dampening down. The following 3, leading up to today, provided me with noticeable improvements every few days, and *real* windows of clarity, normalcy and sanity. I can say now that I truly have way more good times than bad. Glory to God!

 

Earlier on, I swore a few times I was close to being done - the windows have been confusing. BUT I learned to tell the difference between windows and new baselines. I remember convincing myself, doubting, questioning, like most. Hell, I still question every few days, before another turn comes. But, like my first mentor said, "you'll just know," and I have. Every turn, baseline improvement and stride towards complete healing have been very noticeable. It's like Christmas morning each time.

 

And today I'm thrilled to *know* I am almost done. From 6 months to 11 months, it would take 2-3 weeks to see noticeable differences in my baseline. Since early November, it has taken big turns every few days. They say it speeds up at the end, so I am confident I'll be done soon. I'm finally down to a handful of sxs, most of which are simply annoying. And yes - tinnitus and hyperacousis do go AWAY! My hyperacousis dropped last month, and my tinnitus is literally barelt there anymore.

 

Hang on. Drink plenty of water. *Eat right*. Cry. Laugh. Talk. Post. Pray. Do whatever you have to do to get through. It really does get better and better and better.... take care of yourself and don't listen to horror stories.

 

I'm left with:

 

•sleep apnea

•oh-so mild tinnitus

•brain zaps upon waking, a few days a week and VERY mild

•spurts of mild anxiety 

•mild flare-ups after eating, about half of the time, which bring on intrusive thinking

•intrusive thinking - mainly connected to after I eat or when I smoke

•AM anxiety about half of the time, 90% improvement in severity

•moments of feeling cognitively impaired still, severity of those moments have improved by about 75%, though. Most of the time I feel just about my old self. Just about!

 

I could probably write a success story claiming to be almost done, but I really want to save the excitement for when I really am 100% healed! I expect, pray and hope that at or around my true 1-year mark - January 20th - I'll be writing my success story.

 

God bless you all! Keep trucking!

 

I am SO happy for you! I like to read stories like this  I am approaching 6 months, it has been a struggle for me lately. I am hoping it get better when I get 6 months.  I am just living ONE day at a time now. If I can handle today (one day) then I am happy.

 

Congratulations again! I need to hear stories like this recently.

 

Tracy

[[il...]]

Tracy,

 

I barely even think of BBs anymore. That should say enough. Super proud of you - one day at a time. Those days will keep adding up and soon you will just KNOW you're healing. Time is all we need to put in, but, proper nutrition helps the body heal from anything.

 

It's scary, it's horrifying actually. It's ungodly. But, I promise you - it gets BETTER. So much better!!

 

Keep going!

[[be...]]

I like the "much much much better" part  Congrats on one year! 

[[il...]]

I like the "much much much better" part  Congrats on one year! 

 

Thank you, BRC!! For this and for all you do. Even if it takes longer than a year, it'll just keep getting better and better, so I feel like either way -- I got this!!

[[Tr...]]

Tracy,

 

I barely even think of BBs anymore. That should say enough. Super proud of you - one day at a time. Those days will keep adding up and soon you will just KNOW you're healing. Time is all we need to put in, but, proper nutrition helps the body heal from anything.

 

It's scary, it's horrifying actually. It's ungodly. But, I promise you - it gets BETTER. So much better!!

 

Keep going!

 

I think BBs help me so much. I honestly think that I can't last this long without the support and love of everyone on here. It's just an AWESOME support group of good people.  There are so many good advice on here , but one that has helped me so much and even help me to have a totally different perspective is LIVE one day at a time. That has give me so much control in the last few days. When we go struggle in life such as this, taking one day at a time is needed and of course other good strategy such as good nutrition, exercise, and distractions.

 

Congrats again and thank you for posting.  Stories like this really help me and others while in tapering/or recovering. Please keep us posted and I hope you continue to heal and good luck in everything.

 

Tracy

 

 

 

[[so...]]

Congrats, Illnever.  You have a wonderfully positive attitude and it will carry you through and beyond this journey.  You always give God his props and He is watching over you.  Don't forget to hold the healing door open a crack for us stragglers.

 

Love, Sofa

[[il...]]

Congrats, Illnever.  You have a wonderfully positive attitude and it will carry you through and beyond this journey.  You always give God his props and He is watching over you.  Don't forget to hold the healing door open a crack for us stragglers.

 

Love, Sofa

 

Thank you! He is, and I'm blessed. You'll be done for good soon. I know it. And you'll probably beat me, till 100% of my sxs go completely. So *you* hold that door open!

 

You know your guidance and knowledge has helped many, including me, earlier on, when I was desperate to know w...t....F was going on. Ha! I'll never forget you, Sofa. Know that.

 

You're in my prayers. ❤️

Never Again

[[Cu...]]

It's great hearing stories like this especially since I'm just starting out. While it stinks that it takes so long to recover, it's good to know so that I can stay strong and weather the tough times knowing it does get better and that I shouldn't expect huge results in a month or so & to be patient with myself.

 

[[il...]]

It's great hearing stories like this especially since I'm just starting out. While it stinks that it takes so long to recover, it's good to know so that I can stay strong and weather the tough times knowing it does get better and that I shouldn't expect huge results in a month or so & to be patient with myself.

 

You'll learn excellent coping skills through  this. Just take it a day at a time and do not drink alcohol, please! It's literally like liquid benzos. Some day you'll be able to again, but stay away for now. Hang tough. Read celebrations and success stories. Everyone heals. Time is all it takes. How much time differs, but time does it all.

 

Best wishes!

[[So...]]

Congrats! I feel as if I could've written the exact same post. The ups and downs, and almost-there feeling. I'm approaching 13 1/2 months and had a huge lift. I know for certain full healing is on its way, it's just a matter of getting rid of a few of the lingering cobwebs. But this is the closest to normalcy I've felt in a long time. I, too, am waiting to write a success story until I'm 100%.

 

Keep going, great to see you doing well.

[[il...]]

Congrats! I feel as if I could've written the exact same post. The ups and downs, and almost-there feeling. I'm approaching 13 1/2 months and had a huge lift. I know for certain full healing is on its way, it's just a matter of getting rid of a few of the lingering cobwebs. But this is the closest to normalcy I've felt in a long time. I, too, am waiting to write a success story until I'm 100%.

 

Keep going, great to see you doing well.

 

SoCal! Nice to see you're progressing, too. I'm only a couple months behind you. I remember that sticking out when I was really active on here, and first "met" you.

 

This is awesome! Although ebbing and flowing, and everything lessening on severity, it felt like molasses all fall.... until November hit, then BOOM.... huge turn. I feel so blessed.

 

I don't post for any other reason than to give the new members another story to hang onto, as I did, so desperately.

 

Thrilled for you. I can't wait to read your success story. Congrats and God bless you!

[[bl...]]

Looking back, the first 6 months, everything was constant. The following 3 months, everything started breaking up, giving me small windows and dampening down. The following 3, leading up to today, provided me with noticeable improvements every few days, and *real* windows of clarity, normalcy and sanity. I can say now that I truly have way more good times than bad. Glory to God!

 

Earlier on, I swore a few times I was close to being done - the windows have been confusing. BUT I learned to tell the difference between windows and new baselines. I remember convincing myself, doubting, questioning, like most. Hell, I still question every few days, before another turn comes. But, like my first mentor said, "you'll just know," and I have. Every turn, baseline improvement and stride towards complete healing have been very noticeable. It's like Christmas morning each time.

 

I always relish hearing about what's going on with you! This gives my day a huge boost!

 

I can relate to your timeline, the 6-month mark is always so pivotal and you think, "I'm done, finally" And then, you get knocked back over and over again. I think you hit it on the head though when you say there's a difference between baselines and windows. That's what I'm experiencing right now. I just hit 8 months a few days ago. Every few weeks, I seem to have a mild to moderate wave for a week or so, and then it slowly clears and I'm further out than before.

 

I want to reinforce what you say at the end about eating right. This is above all else, among my top three good habits to maintain during recovery and it's going to pay huge dividends when trying to diagnose the difference between what is benzo-related, and what you're putting into your body.

 

Congratulations on your continued recovery. You've come a long way. I can't wait to get to my one-year point, but I'm enjoying the ride quite a bit more. Each day reveals and unfolds new places within myself that I'd long forgotten about.

 

I don't know if everyone else's recovery is similar, but recovery to me is like breaking apart a mountain with a rock hammer, you just have to chip away at it bit by bit, busting it into smaller pieces, and then smaller ones, until eventually you've hammered it into dust and you can see the path clear ahead.

[[on...]]

ILLNever- thanks for the positive  post. As someone sitting at the six month mark still struggling with lots of symptoms reading  your description of the progression from months 6-9 and 9-12 really gives me the hope to hang on and push forward. You have been  great source of encouragement to me before in this journey  and once again you have come along at the right time with wonderful words of encouragement!! Thanks so much and here's to a much better 2017 for both of us!!!

[[il...]]

ILLNever- thanks for the positive  post. As someone sitting at the six month mark still struggling with lots of symptoms reading  your description of the progression from months 6-9 and 9-12 really gives me the hope to hang on and push forward. You have been  great source of encouragement to me before in this journey  and once again you have come along at the right time with wonderful words of encouragement!! Thanks so much and here's to a much better 2017 for both of us!!!

 

I'm touched to know I've helped. That's really the only reason I've come back to post under celebrations. You just keep going and you'll see. It takes a ridiculously long time, but, it happens. And then it happens again, and again, and again, and you'll feel better, and better, and better. You're only

job is to keep going. 2017 IS GOING TO KICK BUTT!!!!! Proud of you!

[[il...]]

Blandthrax - we've been alongside each other through most of our journey. I'm proud of you. I'm sorry I'm responding to your well-thought-out comment, but I'm on my phone. Diet, and time. It's coming together well for us both, and I look forward to raising a glass to toast you! Of sugar-free, organic sparkling apple cider, of course!! 😂

 

I hope my next post is a success story, and I hope to see yours soon as well!

[[er...]]

Hey Man,

 

Good job on making it a year!  I'm sure you'll be writing your success story soon.. I'm at 9 months off the clonazepam and 2 months off the risperdal, and doing better as well.

 

Keep up the good work!

 

Eric

[[il...]]

Hey Man,

 

Good job on making it a year!  I'm sure you'll be writing your success story soon.. I'm at 9 months off the clonazepam and 2 months off the risperdal, and doing better as well.

 

Keep up the good work!

 

Eric

 

Thanks, buddy! It'll soon speed up for you. It gets so much better. Keep your head down and forge forth! Proud of you, foxhole buddy!

[[fi...]]

Congratulations on your one year anniversary, illneverdothisagain!  I'm about 15 months off myself!  Great job!

 

[[il...]]

Congratulations on your one year anniversary, illneverdothisagain!  I'm about 15 months off myself!  Great job!

 

Thank you, and congrats to you! We made it! Never thought I'd say that! Glory to God!

[[Mb...]]

Thank you so much Never! I always look forward to your updates! They truely help me to believe when im doubting that this will ever get better.  Thank you,  thank you,  thank you! 😀

[[il...]]

Thank you so much Never! I always look forward to your updates! They truely help me to believe when im doubting that this will ever get better.  Thank you,  thank you,  thank you! 😀

 

Mbusybee! Always good seeing "familiar faces".

 

Every meal we eat, every night we sleep, our bodies heal. It's so much better, and will continue to improve. I'm actually going out and applying to jobs tomorrow! Easy... stocking shelves or something, but something "out there" as oppose to just cooking for friends and family as a private chef. I probably could do more, but I'll need more time to be confident, ya know? I'll be in management some day again. You just have to keep going. I promise it gets so much better!!! we'll both be writing success stories soon!

 

I'm proud of you! Just keep going!

[Guest [We...]]

Congratulations, man! Your progress has been absolutely fantastic.