Help please, I can't think

[[4G...]]

Yesterday I went to see a new therapist and it was very difficult because I am agoraphobic. After I came back I went to the shop and the library. I am also tapering.

 

Today I can hardly do anything. I tried to do the laundry but I could only stare at it. I just can't think. I stayed in bed when my boyfriend's family came round because I couldn't face them. I can hardly work out my taper, though I think I've done it now.

 

I am wondering if other buddies have felt like this. I am scared that I will never get better. Please help. Gilly x

[[Ho...]]

Yesterday I went to see a new therapist and it was very difficult because I am agoraphobic. After I came back I went to the shop and the library. I am also tapering.

 

Today I can hardly do anything. I tried to do the laundry but I could only stare at it. I just can't think. I stayed in bed when my boyfriend's family came round because I couldn't face them. I can hardly work out my taper, though I think I've done it now.

 

I am wondering if other buddies have felt like this. I am scared that I will never get better. Please help. Gilly x

 

I definitely have those days Gilly where my brain is in a fog and I don't feel like doing anything. I think it's pretty normal. Sometimes I have trouble doing the easiest of things. It will pass!

[[4G...]]

Thank you so much, Hope. I worry that I'm never going to get better and I am past help. I guess I just rest for the weekend. I am in such a state about Christmas.

[[be...]]

Sadly it sounds like a kind of normal taper day. Good and bad days are normal at least for me. I too have stared at laundry unable to motivate myself to do it. I often avoid facing people. But, I never tell myself I won't get better. I treat those days as though these are signs I'm actually healing while my brain sorts things out. The agoraphobia is very hard though but I tell myself this won't be forever. As dreadful as it is it is what it is. Next Saturday I need to see my doctor again and I'm already freaking out. And he's terrific. I swear there's no logic to this but nevertheless I try not to feel that I'm not going to get better. Ever. We will Gilly. Distractions! Hang on. B

[[4G...]]

Thank you Barb, you sound very similar to me. I will try to hope again. Was despairing before. Gilly x

[[Ho...]]

Thank you so much, Hope. I worry that I'm never going to get better and I am past help. I guess I just rest for the weekend. I am in such a state about Christmas.

 

You are going to get better, and you are not past hope. Believe that. I'm making a cut tomorrow and I need to hear these words too when I'm in the thick of things. As far as Christmas, yes it adds extra stress. Try to simplify as much as possible and do only what you can do. Don't put extra pressure on yourself. I've volunteered to bring pecan pie for the family gathering....it will come pre made from a store. Ordinarily I would cook, but I'm going to focus my energy on the most important parts and that's spending time with my family, however limited that may be.

[[be...]]

We're all going to get better. When I'm really down I try to remind myself that it's not ME causing the problems it's the drugs. But if I give up hope then that is ME giving in to those feelings. it's hard to separate the 2 at times but if I dwell on forever being on these drugs then I put that on ME not the drugs. Which means there's forever hope. And self belief. Hang on to that and this will all become a distant memory at some point. Don't know when but it will happen. B

[[4G...]]

I get what you mean. It's a question of attitude I suppose. But it is hard to always feel positive isn't it? Never mind. I will try. Thank you so much. I had been going on at my boyfriend about it but he's had enough and I don't blame him. Gx

[[be...]]

It's impossible to stay positive every day. At least for me but I remind myself that each day will be a new one. Negativity is a problem but don't let it stop you. It happens. B

[[Ho...]]

I get what you mean. It's a question of attitude I suppose. But it is hard to always feel positive isn't it? Never mind. I will try. Thank you so much. I had been going on at my boyfriend about it but he's had enough and I don't blame him. Gx

 

I for one am not pooping rainbows and unicorns during this miserable process  . I don't always feel positive, in fact hardly ever. This just plain sucks, no way around it.  But like Barb said, we've got to keep holding onto hope, it's the only way we will get through.  Keep fighting! Hugs 

[[4G...]]

Thank you so much both of you. You have helped me today and I hope to hold on to what you have said. Gilly x

[[Le...]]

I have this problem too Gilly. My thought process literally stops, making it difficult to communicate at all. So...everything Hope and Barb said. You are not alone.

[[4G...]]

Thank you, Left Behind! You have come to my rescue before and I really do appreciate it. Hope you are coping okay.

Gilly x

[[Le...]]

I'm doing the best I can, taking it one day...sometimes one hour... at a time. I have faith that our time will come, we will heal and go forward, living fuller lives than we ever did before.

Left 

[[Fi...]]

Yesterday I went to see a new therapist and it was very difficult because I am agoraphobic. After I came back I went to the shop and the library. I am also tapering.

 

Today I can hardly do anything. I tried to do the laundry but I could only stare at it. I just can't think. I stayed in bed when my boyfriend's family came round because I couldn't face them. I can hardly work out my taper, though I think I've done it now.

 

I am wondering if other buddies have felt like this. I am scared that I will never get better. Please help. Gilly x

 

Me too. All of that.

 

Actually, I might be one or two steps ahead of you and from where I am, I can tell you that all of this lifts and all the fog clears one tiny, almost imperceptible layer at a time.

 

Be patient and don't try to force the pace; clarity must emerge on its own terms and, believe it or not, you'll be all the stronger because it develops forward in this very slow way.

 

Stability comes slowly and it has to if it is to become the permanent fixture we all want it to be. Remember that the next time there's a bit of a wobbly  

[[Ma...]]

while tapering, mean the hole f*** 5 years, I had to write myself down the next dosages, and I had 1001 alarms on my phone to remind me when to take the next pill, when to feed the dog - it was a wonder that I had no alarm telling me to breathe in and out. At that time I had never heard the word "brain fog" before. Now I know. And its gone. With every day since I jumped my brain came back. So it will for you!! So get post-its, alarms, any stuff that supports your poor brains is okey - and be kind to yourselves!

 

hug,

Marigold

[[4G...]]

Thanks both of you. I first started feeling like this six years ago so it is hard to believe that I can get better. But I will try to believe that I can. Much appreciate your responses. Gilly x