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Hey I'm actually a mermaid.


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Good morning, to those of you just rising....I'm waiting patiently for my pottery to dry in the oven, and am stuck in a situation where I normally would require some sort benzo to help me out of arts and crafts at 5:30 am after a night of no rest, to calm...relax and quietly sedate me while giving me the feeling I could do or be anyone I imangined.




I'm a mermaid. And if I had a life book it'd prolly be called something like "My Love Affair With Benzos". Because that's what my life feels like every time I try to break up with them. I wanted to start off by saying, I love k-pins, I prefer being "locked behind xanax bars" and advocate for ativan, and would validate my mere existence with valium. Benzos seemed to be deeply rooted in who I was, how I behaved and the person I felt like that day all at the same time.


My anxiety is overwhelming, at times to say the least. As I'm sure anyone with an affair with the monsters can feel and relate to. At my worst I consumed over 30 mg of klonopin. A good day was taking less than 21 mg...which averaged me somewhere in the 28 mg a day of either xanax, klonopin or ataivan......while valium was always hard to find.

Anyways turned twenty five. The day of my birthday......which was at the very beginning of May of this year.....I quit Benzos cold turkey. I stayed away for 6 months. I need help getting off and staying off. By the grace of God I believe I was watched and cared for by angels who worded off seizures...because when getting off them I did not expierence one.


So I need help staying clean because I can't do it on my own.

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Hello, whitehairmermaid  :) - welcome to BenzoBuddies, and congratulations on being benzo-free!


I'm so glad you decided to join the forum - you'll find plenty of information and support here. Our members have gone through all aspects of benzodiazepine use and withdrawal, so you'll be able to connect with others who understand what you're going through and can tell you what has worked for them.


Please feel free to post to any of the specialized boards, which can all be accessed from the BenzoBuddies Community Forum homepage. Based on the information provided in your introduction, the following link may be a good starting place for you.


  Post-withdrawal Recovery Support


When you have a chance, we highly recommend that you take a look at The Ashton Manual, which is an authoritative source on what to expect during withdrawal and recovery, authored by Dr Heather Ashton, who is an expert in the field. It provides a great deal of information that can be very reassuring during any stage of this process, including a list of common symptoms with helpful explanations.


Please take the time to Create a Signature. This will allow members to see where you are in the process, so that they can better support you.


Again, welcome!

Leslie  :smitten:

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