Terrible Obsessive unease

[[Ma...]]

Hi Buddies,

 

I really need some reassurance and advice. As you guys know I have underlying OCD, ADD and anxiety disorders which makes things hard. I haven't been as bad off as some people with my withdrawal I don't think but it's still hard and I'm still suffering with it.

 

I've been in a state that's really hard to explain, I feel a sense of chronic unease without full on anxiety symptoms and I feel out of it like I'm slightly demented. The world seems odd to me at the moment and I'm constantly obsessing about the way my mind feels. I know this doesn't make much sense and that's the thing that frightens me - I can't seem to put the state I'm feeling into a label/box.

 

Anyway, if you've been through this or have an idea on what's going on I'd appreciate it so much. I'm not expecting much or any response. Thanks again fellow Buddies.

[[Sh...]]

I've always had an obsessive mind. No compulsions. But going through WD seems to amplify things x10. I have something that I feel horrible about in my past. And it was hard to deal with at the best of times. But going through wd has my mind focusing on it 24/7 literally. It's horrible.

[Guest [Le...]]

This is not weird at all, at least as a benzo experience - you describe it really well, too.

 

I feel really odd in the world too, and more than a little demented. Some days it's almost like living inside the TV script of a dystopian horror show. Other days, things ease up and my environment seems somewhat familiar, but never really comfortable, or even mine.

 

I'm not sure this is like what you're experiencing, but to me it feels like there is no reality, as though my memories and experiences were just illusions.

 

Pretty demented, but I get flashes of hope, so I'm sure this can't be permanent, for either of us! 

[[on...]]

not sure if it's what you are experiencing but I am feeling anxiety surges I just  can't control- I am trying to get a handle on this overwhelming  feeling of uneasiness ...it is a toxic level of anxiety that  I just can't seem to deal with.  Before I started on  xanax 30 years ago I had panic attacks ( that is what I was prescribed it for)  but this anxiety  is  very different-    the panic attacks  I used to have lasted for like 15- 20 minutes max  and then  I was OK in between them- but this  new feeling  is all the time.....it is an uneasiness , a fear that I can't explain or get control of- think it must be caused by the benzos and the benzo withdrawal - just hope it is not permanent...

[[Tr...]]

not sure if it's what you are experiencing but I am feeling anxiety surges I just  can't control- I am trying to get a handle on this overwhelming  feeling of uneasiness ...it is a toxic level of anxiety that  I just can't seem to deal with.  Before I started on  xanax 30 years ago I had panic attacks ( that is what I was prescribed it for)  but this anxiety  is  very different-    the panic attacks  I used to have lasted for like 15- 20 minutes max  and then  I was OK in between them- but this  new feeling  is all the time.....it is an uneasiness , a fear that I can't explain or get control of- think it must be caused by the benzos and the benzo withdrawal - just hope it is not permanent...

 

I am having what you are having everyday, all the time for the last few weeks.

 

[[Tr...]]

Hi Buddies,

 

I really need some reassurance and advice. As you guys know I have underlying OCD, ADD and anxiety disorders which makes things hard. I haven't been as bad off as some people with my withdrawal I don't think but it's still hard and I'm still suffering with it.

 

I've been in a state that's really hard to explain, I feel a sense of chronic unease without full on anxiety symptoms and I feel out of it like I'm slightly demented. The world seems odd to me at the moment and I'm constantly obsessing about the way my mind feels. I know this doesn't make much sense and that's the thing that frightens me - I can't seem to put the state I'm feeling into a label/box.

 

Anyway, if you've been through this or have an idea on what's going on I'd appreciate it so much. I'm not expecting much or any response. Thanks again fellow Buddies.

 

I think I am feeling the same as you are. The world seems odd to me and I constantly obsessed about what my mind thinks/thoughts.  My mind have obsessive thoughts all the time, with so many racing thoughts that I can't control but I Can't concentrate much because of them. I also have OCD...in terms of symmetry, organizing and rumination thoughts. Its  hard for me t cope with benzo wd.

[[Ho...]]

If you are struggling with OCD it is very important to remember that OCD lives on three things; avoidance, reassurance and compulsions. The more you feed the OCD, the worse it gets. It's even more important to find a ERP THERAPIST. Don't suffer, it will change your life. You can also You Tube Mark Freeman to get started.

[[Tr...]]

If you are struggling with OCD it is very important to remember that OCD lives on three things; avoidance, reassurance and compulsions. The more you feed the OCD, the worse it gets. It's even more important to find a ERP THERAPIST. Don't suffer, it will change your life. You can also You Tube Mark Freeman to get started.

 

Hi there. Thank you. Yes I have watched Mark Freeman and try hard but still struggling. I will see my therapy next week and see how that goes. I think I really need a good therapy for OCD. It's hard for me to do it a lone, very difficult, no matter how hard I try, I always tend to give in the reassurance and compulsion especially when I am under stress. My OCD mind wins all the time. Right now, I am struggling with benzo withdrawal and OCD and everyday-life issues.

[[pu...]]

I have been swirling in OCD whirlpool of doom for ever a year now!

 

 

 

*slightly demented* is exactly how I feel.

 

 

 

I see a therapist 1 to 2 times a week. She is a "holistic" therapist (not pushing medication) and very

into more spiritual / earthy / and all different kinds of views. Just talking with someone to

keep you positive and constantly remind you to try and break your thought cycles help.

 

 

I tried to meditate in simple yoga poses and sometimes it works.

 

 

 

[[Tr...]]

I have been swirling in OCD whirlpool of doom for ever a year now!

 

 

 

*slightly demented* is exactly how I feel.

 

 

 

I see a therapist 1 to 2 times a week. She is a "holistic" therapist (not pushing medication) and very

into more spiritual / earthy / and all different kinds of views. Just talking with someone to

keep you positive and constantly remind you to try and break your thought cycles help.

 

 

I tried to meditate in simple yoga poses and sometimes it works.

 

Hi, I think I will seriously try mindfulness meditation to help with my ruminations and running thoughts all over in my mind. It's just hard to live in a lock mind. But it's okay, everything will be OK. I just keep trying to be positive.

[[of...]]

There's more than one way of meditation. If focusing on your breath isn't really working. You can write  out a well thought out sentence. Something you want or believe . Then for up to thirty minutes, Repeat that sentence, over and over. Slowly, and focused on what your saying. Eventually you'll fall into a meditative state of mind where you can sit in complete silence distant from thought. The Rosary is also an effective form of meditation. Or observing thoughts, without attaching. Like clouds in the sky. Coming and going

[[pu...]]

There's more than one way of meditation. If focusing on your breath isn't really working. You can write  out a well thought out sentence. Something you want or believe . Then for up to thirty minutes, Repeat that sentence, over and over. Slowly, and focused on what your saying. Eventually you'll fall into a meditative state of mind where you can sit in complete silence distant from thought. The Rosary is also an effective form of meditation. Or observing thoughts, without attaching. Like clouds in the sky. Coming and going

 

 

This is a great idea, thanks.

[[of...]]

I have been swirling in OCD whirlpool of doom for ever a year now!

 

 

 

*slightly demented* is exactly how I feel.

 

 

 

I see a therapist 1 to 2 times a week. She is a "holistic" therapist (not pushing medication) and very

into more spiritual / earthy / and all different kinds of views. Just talking with someone to

keep you positive and constantly remind you to try and break your thought cycles help.

 

 

I tried to meditate in simple yoga poses and sometimes it works.

 

Hi, I think I will seriously try mindfulness meditation to help with my ruminations and running thoughts all over in my mind. It's just hard to live in a lock mind. But it's okay, everything will be OK. I just keep trying to be positive.

 

Having thoughts is normal. Attaching to thoughts is a decision. Choosing to not attach to thoughts is mindfulness

[[Ma...]]

I am 9 months out and while reading your topic I remembered that I felt that way for the hole 5 years while tapering. Its making oneself so un-sure about everything - like the catastrophe could come the next moment - or just nothing? ugh.

 

I want you to tell that now its gone.

While having it I tried to accept it, and like always, do things despite. Not against the feeling, you now, more the "no matter how I feel thing".

Eating fat and protein made it better for some hours, too.

 

Bah - that was an ugly feeling...

[[Ma...]]

I honestly didn't expect replies and I thought "why bother posting, you're alone", I'm so glad I did. I have renewed confidence just knowing there are others with this symptom set (although I'm also saddened by it because I wouldn't wish this on anyone), thankyou everyone for sharing, I'm truly appreciative.

 

Thank you also for the mindfulness suggestions and other advice, I have two mindfulness books on my kindle that I shall start reading today. Thankyou

[[Ho...]]

ERP is the only highly effective way to combat OCD. I so wish it was easy to just let it go. My OCD got so bad I had many thoughts of ending it. 4 months ago, I found my ERP therapist and my life done a 180. It's been an amazing transition.

 

https://iocdf.org/find-help/

 

That's a link to find a ERP therapist in your area.

[[Na...]]

I had terrible looping obsessive intrusive dark thoughts that haunted me everyday. During the acute stage I had the most evil psychotic thoughts I ever had in my life. Like being taken over by a demon or something. Later the looping thoughts changed into: "I am permanently damaged, my life is over, what will the neighbours think of me?, everybody is living a happy life, this is my punishment, I will never be able to socialize, I will feel like this forever" I was having flashbacks of the acute stage all the time and was feeling a lot of shame. It all went away for me. Now I am hardly thinking at all and feel emotionally numb. Which is a lot better than having these obsessive thoughts. It will go away.

[[Ma...]]

Karuna, thanks heaps for that, I like the walking idea very much. I have been trying to walk a whole lot. Strangely enough I feel dreadful from it straight after the walk but great about 4 hours after.

 

Hockeylife, thankyou, I am looking at some ERP.

 

Napdmd, thanks for sharing your experience, I'm sorry that you went through that it sounds bloody horrid. Glad your better now

[[Cl...]]

Hi Tracy,

 

Your post sounds like the history of my life. I was exactly like you at almost 2 months out. I also have had mild OCD all my life. Surely you will feel much better. What we read in here so often it is true: time is the healer. At 5 months off I started to do yoga, it is very helpful.

All the best.

[[Ma...]]

Hi Clona,

 

If you don't mind me asking, what kind of Yoga did you do?

[[be...]]

Hi Buddies,

 

I really need some reassurance and advice. As you guys know I have underlying OCD, ADD and anxiety disorders which makes things hard. I haven't been as bad off as some people with my withdrawal I don't think but it's still hard and I'm still suffering with it.

 

I've been in a state that's really hard to explain, I feel a sense of chronic unease without full on anxiety symptoms and I feel out of it like I'm slightly demented. The world seems odd to me at the moment and I'm constantly obsessing about the way my mind feels. I know this doesn't make much sense and that's the thing that frightens me - I can't seem to put the state I'm feeling into a label/box.

 

Anyway, if you've been through this or have an idea on what's going on I'd appreciate it so much. I'm not expecting much or any response. Thanks again fellow Buddies.

 

That sounds about right. I have all that and more. I had OCD as a kid and a little bit on and off but nothing too serious now I am a complete mess. Its like every problem or bad thought Iv ever had is attacking me and Im trying to neutralize them but thinking. I feel mad. I think it will pass-more worried about other symptoms although OCD stuff can be debilitating.

[[Sh...]]

Hi Buddies,

 

I really need some reassurance and advice. As you guys know I have underlying OCD, ADD and anxiety disorders which makes things hard. I haven't been as bad off as some people with my withdrawal I don't think but it's still hard and I'm still suffering with it.

 

I've been in a state that's really hard to explain, I feel a sense of chronic unease without full on anxiety symptoms and I feel out of it like I'm slightly demented. The world seems odd to me at the moment and I'm constantly obsessing about the way my mind feels. I know this doesn't make much sense and that's the thing that frightens me - I can't seem to put the state I'm feeling into a label/box.

 

Anyway, if you've been through this or have an idea on what's going on I'd appreciate it so much. I'm not expecting much or any response. Thanks again fellow Buddies.

 

That sounds about right. I have all that and more. I had OCD as a kid and a little bit on and off but nothing too serious now I am a complete mess. Its like every problem or bad thought Iv ever had is attacking me and Im trying to neutralize them but thinking. I feel mad. I think it will pass-more worried about other symptoms although OCD stuff can be debilitating.

 

Thats exactly what Ive got. Unbearable.

[[Br...]]

i have the same sxs. i just think its my brain trying to sort itself out.

[[Cl...]]

Hi Clona,

 

If you don't mind me asking, what kind of Yoga did you do?

 

Hi Tracy,

 

Sorry for my last response, I did not log in in several days. I do Kundalini yoga twice a week at 6AM and Hatha yoga in the evenings, usually 3-4 times a week. I think it Is an addiction  , fortunately a healthy one.

I hope you can try, my OCD has become very mild.

All the best.

[[ld...]]

 

Yeah; I have experienced these same symptoms. I am around 10 months out now and they seem to be lessening as they come and go now, but still doesn't make it any easier when they come, but at least when they start coming and going that is a sign we are healing a lot. You are not alone. We will eventually get there.

 

Wish you guys all the best