Jump to content
Important Survey - Please Participate ×

Tough love from my family


[Da...]

Recommended Posts

Hi Everyone, my family has decided to give me tough love. They want to confront me and tell me I can no longer be sick. It has been just over 1 year now. My mother, who I love dearly, invited me to red lobster then jumped down my throat and got mad and walked out. The thing that is killing me is I have not asked my family for anything. I have my own money I'm living off, it is money I set aside for retirement but I'm spending my own. I have not even asked for any kind of emotional support. And I try my best not to even discuss it with them, as little as I can get away with. Anyone else have a similar problem?
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think the tough love thing is going work. They may not know that, but I know you do.

I am treated like a totally different person by my family. They would respect my opinion on things ask me to help with projects.

I was one of the first people they would come to for advice or just to talk.

Now just silence, I have reached out as much as I can. But I am treated like a broken person and a outcast.

Friends are gone. I wish it wasn't like this but what can you do. It is part of this and it has affected me deeply.

Broken is a hard place to live for now. I have hope for all of us. This will end.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So sorry for you Davis, thats not fair. Perhaps its an example for "we just mean it well" (*vomit*).

 

I always say if you want to help somebody then don't do what would be the right thing for you or what you think might be the best - YOU ASK.

But asking means to listen. To wait. To surrender. And that hurts.

 

Stay strong. Stay by yourself. You know the truth. You know you are doing the best out of the situation. And anyone who does not understand just can *****MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP****. Focus on YOUR way and if they keep nerving you - block them.

Sorry. Just had to... :ticked off:

 

 

Silveralpha: The same for you.

 

Both of you have given me so much help here on bb. I am sure you both will some day make new friends. If I can, you can too. And for them, you will not be a burden and they will like to be with you no matter in what circumstances you are living then. Really.

 

 

... :hug:

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi, I appreciate all your responses.

 

donnieogik - Trust me I know what it is like and it does not just hurt it also makes me angry. I know you lost your mom not too long ago so it does suck that your remaining family makes you an outcast. Seems like a time families need to stick together and support each other.

 

silveralpha - I totally know what your say. Before this whole disaster started I too was well respected, my opinion mattered, people came to me for help with their problems. I always have done my best to help out anyone in need, especially family members. Now I'm not asking them for anything, yet they want to judge me. They think its my fault what is going on. I'm just depressed and should get over it. My mom even told me I should not see my psychiatrist anymore. She met me and him in a family session and he explain the WD process with her. Now she said he is making excuses for me. WTF is that all about.

 

Marigold1- You have helped and been there for me many many times. I appreciate your support and your response. I am hoping I can find a new family soon and drop mine.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Me too, they just dont get it. My wife doesnt even believe in benzo withdraw. Its just anxiety because thats what the doctor said!!One hell of an anxiety!!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi, I appreciate all your responses.

 

donnieogik - Trust me I know what it is like and it does not just hurt it also makes me angry. I know you lost your mom not too long ago so it does suck that your remaining family makes you an outcast. Seems like a time families need to stick together and support each other.

 

silveralpha - I totally know what your say. Before this whole disaster started I too was well respected, my opinion mattered, people came to me for help with their problems. I always have done my best to help out anyone in need, especially family members. Now I'm not asking them for anything, yet they want to judge me. They think its my fault what is going on. I'm just depressed and should get over it. My mom even told me I should not see my psychiatrist anymore. [glow=red,2,300]She met me and him in a family session and he explain the WD process with her. Now she said he is making excuses for me. WTF is that all about.[/glow]

 

 

Wow I would have lost my shit. If my mom said this to me. I would say your taking this pretty well all things considered . I just stopped talking to my family about it because it makes me too upset. Everyone just tells me it's just my anxiety .....

 

I also have a family member who is a doctor and he tells everyone there is no way what I am going through is related to benzos and something else is wrong with me. Really doesn't help my case at all.

 

So when you are healed and you are all better . How will they respond then? They will treat you with respect and with dignity? Most likely I'm assuming .... dealing with family is tough even without going through this ordeal. Maybe think about how the old you would handle this situation? What would the old Davis say to all of this nonsense ? 

 

Although maybe that's not the right thought process. Since you aren't the old Davis anymore. You are the new and improved (almost improved) Davis who can see things for what they really are.  I think that's what makes is process so hard is we "change our minds so much we can't even trust it, our minds change us so much we can't even trust ourselves "? Hmmm what would issac Brock do

 

I don't know I just wanted to say something about this , but my brain isn't working . That's the problem right if our brain where working this wouldn't even be an issue. So we just have to wait and sort out family issues later. They will still be there and when we can think right ,we can explain to them what the deal is.. I sometimes think that I won't explain to them though since they won't listen now.

 

Any who I can relate and I understand the frustration. At least you have handled the situation gracefully.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are such a great person Davis...don't let them get to you. I know my family treats me the same way and I don't honestly care what they think. Try to think this way. Remember this isn't permanent. You will heal and be back to your normal self. In fact you will be better then your normal self...I just know it!! Keep your head held high and go about taking care of you. That's what is important right now.  :smitten:
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think the tough love thing is going work. They may not know that, but I know you do.

I am treated like a totally different person by my family. They would respect my opinion on things ask me to help with projects.

I was one of the first people they would come to for advice or just to talk.

Now just silence, I have reached out as much as I can. But I am treated like a broken person and a outcast.

Friends are gone. I wish it wasn't like this but what can you do. It is part of this and it has affected me deeply.

Broken is a hard place to live for now. I have hope for all of us. This will end.

 

That was heartbreakingly perfect. That you for summing it up so beautifully Bhealthy.

 

I KNOW I'm still that person. I've survived hell - literally hell. I'm a good person. I know I am. But I'm of no use to humanity anymore. It crushes my heart.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Davis, I'm so sorry your mother is acting that way. At the time we need support the most, it isn't there. My sister told me I belonged in an insane asylum. I don't talk to her about benzos anymore. She probably thinks I'm cured, but I'm not. I love my sister, but this was too much for me to handle.

 

It's a crying shame.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[b3...]

Hi Everyone, my family has decided to give me tough love. They want to confront me and tell me I can no longer be sick. It has been just over 1 year now. My mother, who I love dearly, invited me to red lobster then jumped down my throat and got mad and walked out. The thing that is killing me is I have not asked my family for anything. I have my own money I'm living off, it is money I set aside for retirement but I'm spending my own. I have not even asked for any kind of emotional support. And I try my best not to even discuss it with them, as little as I can get away with. Anyone else have a similar problem?

 

That's very impolite of them to do, to say the least. Once you get well, cut them out of your life. Forever.

 

These people don't deserve you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Get them to watch ian singletons videa about benzo withdrawal. Better still, get them to ring him at the Bristol tranquiliser Project. This is a UK help line but he is brilliant, articulate, intelligent and would put your family straight.

 

Tell them that if they are willing to spend ten minutes on the phone to him, then, you will not ask them for anything else out of them (I know you dont anyway!) Beg them to talk to him if you have to.

 

People have NO IDEA what we go through...none.

X

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Or get them to read Lord Montagu's article in Evidence BAsed Psychiatry. He is a very clever man who has been deeply damaged by tranquilisers. He writes a good article. Give it to your parents.

 

I'm trying to give you articulate, academic people to show your mum as people respond better to stories with highly intelligent people.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Davis,

 

On a separate note, I read that you have been on amitriptyline for twenty years. Do you think some of your remaining symptoms are actually tolerance to this drug? Or side effects?

 

Do you have a plan to get off it?

 

Hope you dont mind me asking. I really hope that you are having a better day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Here you are, get them to read these......

 

 

Doctors-finally-admit-patients-hooked-tranquilisers

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3915114/Why-250-000-lives-ruined-mother-s-little-helpers-Doctors-finally-admit-patients-hooked-tranquilisers.html

 

Letter from British Medical Association to UK Department of Health

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BwoPAGe8hqAlb293ZUs0SXE1ckk/view

 

 

In the above letter they refert to the N.I.C.E guidelines their on this link

https://cks.nice.org.uk/benzodiazepine-and-z-drug-withdrawal#!scenario

 

 

B.A.T Battle against tranquillisers

http://bataid.org/

 

 

Love Nova xxx  :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Or get them to read Lord Montagu's article in Evidence BAsed Psychiatry. He is a very clever man who has been deeply damaged by tranquilisers. He writes a good article. Give it to your parents.

 

The story suggested here by Rubikscube is on the first link I've given you :)

 

 

Love Nova xxx :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If they can't at least give you emotional support, then they should stay the Hell away! They don't understand and they have no intention on informing themselves so to be of help. 90,000 people who have shared and contributed to this blog is evidence that what you are going through is not in your head or a sign that you have some other health issue. In cases like this, ignorance is no excuse! A doctor got you in this mess!  Would you go back to that doctor to get help? Drug and vaccine pushers! Western medicine has really screwed up a lot of people. If we have bad reactions or get very sick as a result of their medieval practices, it's our fault, not theirs! Now, our families, and doctors what to send us to some intervention. More drugs, more misdiagnosis, more excuses! Going through this has made me very angry at the way the medical business has brainwashed the public and has made us sick. I'm sorry for going on a rant but I have grown tired of the same ol dog chasing his tail. What we need during this time is people that are supportive and encouraging. Not those that are looking at you like you are some sort of nut case. On here, you will get support and encouragement from those who went though this Hell. When you get through this, and you will, you can tell your family the facts because you got free of this on your own.  You might also add......Thanks for your understanding!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi, I appreciate all your responses.

 

donnieogik - Trust me I know what it is like and it does not just hurt it also makes me angry. I know you lost your mom not too long ago so it does suck that your remaining family makes you an outcast. Seems like a time families need to stick together and support each other.

 

silveralpha - I totally know what your say. Before this whole disaster started I too was well respected, my opinion mattered, people came to me for help with their problems. I always have done my best to help out anyone in need, especially family members. Now I'm not asking them for anything, yet they want to judge me. They think its my fault what is going on. I'm just depressed and should get over it. My mom even told me I should not see my psychiatrist anymore. She met me and him in a family session and he explain the WD process with her. Now she said he is making excuses for me. WTF is that all about.

 

Marigold1- You have helped and been there for me many many times. I appreciate your support and your response. I am hoping I can find a new family soon and drop mine.

 

Thank you Davis. Much appreciated. People like you and I (and our Buddies) NEED to survive to help change the current state of things. I'm Canadian, and God knows we could use it here!

 

Hang in there  :mybuddy:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I came off Xanax, I pretty much cut out everyone who questioned what I was going through. Basically everyone except my mother. Now that I'm pretty much Recovered, I have no regrets. I found new friends and they all believe in me more than I do, which is nice compared to how my family and old friends use to treat me
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My family is also putting pressure on me to just stop taking the meds - they do not understand the taper and they think I am compulsively taking the pills. No matter how much I explain the dangers of stopping benzos cold turkey; they don't get it. They think I'm making myself sick. I don't know what to do about this...
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Everyone, Thank you guys so much for your responses and support. It is great to know I can count on you when I get down and out. Only we can understand one another. It is so hard for outsiders to understand it.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Rubikscube - Thank for your response. I have taken Amitriptyline for a long time for depression. It has always been easy to go on or off of that for me. I don't really experience any bad side effects when I quit taking it. I don't see where it causes the symptoms I have now. It helps me sleep and I don't want to go back to insomnia again. I do what to be drug free but even ashton recommends to stay on your AD during your WD.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Get them to watch ian singletons videa about benzo withdrawal. Better still, get them to ring him at the Bristol tranquiliser Project. This is a UK help line but he is brilliant, articulate, intelligent and would put your family straight.

 

Tell them that if they are willing to spend ten minutes on the phone to him, then, you will not ask them for anything else out of them (I know you dont anyway!) Beg them to talk to him if you have to.

 

People have NO IDEA what we go through...none.

X

@Rubikscube:  I googled "Ian Singleton benzo" and watched his excellent primer on benzo addiction and withdrawal.  For relatives who are short on patience, these short video segments get to the point quickly and cover the essentials.  Thanks a lot for mentioning this resource:

 

http://cepuk.org/2014/01/15/ian-singleton-talks-about-the-withdrawal-process/

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Everyone, my family has decided to give me tough love. They want to confront me and tell me I can no longer be sick. It has been just over 1 year now. My mother, who I love dearly, invited me to red lobster then jumped down my throat and got mad and walked out. The thing that is killing me is I have not asked my family for anything. I have my own money I'm living off, it is money I set aside for retirement but I'm spending my own. I have not even asked for any kind of emotional support. And I try my best not to even discuss it with them, as little as I can get away with. Anyone else have a similar problem?

 

No one in my family ever supported me or even understood what I was going through, and I don't give a fuck. I never expected them to anyway. I have my friends and girl, they were always there for me. When one goes through something like this, you really see who's you're real friends and family. And who's not.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks to all you guys for your responses. My family is big and close knit. The whole thing is such a nightmare. Ive got to just do what I do. It is hard when things change and I need support from people. A lot of us have others that we want to help, it sucks that they don't want to acknowledge it.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...