7 days out tomorrow K. - did anybody had similar exp.

[[lo...]]

jumped last week tuesday night.

day 1-4 - feel agitated but pretty decent, did lots of activities. sleep well, no crazy symptoms.

day 5 (yesterday) the gates of the deepest levels of hell opened upon my mind. i literally did see the neurons shooting all over my brain while the gaba receptors just said 'fuck you' I am not going to eat you. heart racing, panic and a feeling of I am fucked. popped an emergency seroquel 50mg and slept for 8 hours well.

day 6 - today - morning sucked bad. tried to distract myself, but towards late afternoon and evening i started to feel quiet euphoric again. still agitated but helped around the house. had some good time watching TV. nowhere near where I was last night.

this is so unpredictable &*(&*( me.

I am so thankful for benzobuddies, all the good advice here makes the whole process much much more doable.

[[si...]]

Yep, going to be a lot of ups and downs in the months to come. Try to stay busy even through the bad waves and do what you can. Remember we all heal at deferent rates, hope yours is fast.

[[lo...]]

today 9th day. yesterday was nightmare all day long. tried to survive.

today - better morning and I feel 30% better. despite some virus hit me, I am hopeful.

healing is on the way....

 

 

[[Ph...]]

While you heal, pat yourself on the back for getting off.  You deserve it.

[[Oo...]]

7 days out !!!!....we all know by now it takes at least 18 to 20 months to get any relieve, and often more, so you better buckle up for a long ride !

[[lo...]]

from Ashton...

sorry that you are in protracted, but I don't think your exp. applies to most people. of course I dont have a magic ball which will tell me how long it will last, but out of 10 days only 3 have been harder for me, whle 7 were ok.

I hope that you take a turn as well finally

 

PROTRACTED WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS

 

A minority of people who have withdrawn from benzodiazepines seem to suffer long-term effects - protracted symptoms that just don't go away after months or even years. It has been estimated that perhaps 10-15 per cent of long-term benzodiazepine users develop a "post-withdrawal syndrome". Many of these people have taken benzodiazepines for 20 years or more and/or have had bad experiences in withdrawal. The incidence of protracted symptoms in those who have undergone a slow taper under their own control is almost certainly very much lower.

 

 

7 days out !!!!....we all know by now it takes at least 18 to 20 months to get any relieve, and often more, so you better buckle up for a long ride !

[[br...]]

 

Oostende. Do you have to be so bloody negative. Your attitude at times seems a little 'Schadenfreude' Lighten up !!!! If you can't say anything positive or helpful, don't say it.

[[be...]]

Locutus, Its a long journey no doubt. My first 2 weeks were unpredictable but not bad. There is a chart showing incidents of symptom severity and setbacks. I understand that for most the 4th and 5th month are pretty bad, I'm there now I know, Stay clean and mean, take 1 day at a time when needed. Mind busy hobbies are priceless.

Everyone heals at their own pace and possibly bitterness slows the process ie. earlier post, stay positive.

[[ny...]]

Locotus, glad to see you're on the other side!!!  Hang in there.  It's tricky.  I had 5 weeks post jump no sxs, then got hit with a wave last couple of days. Be ready for ups and downs (hopefully ups!) and know that you're healing even when things get worse.

[[lo...]]

it is ups and down for sure. And even hard to predict for me in the morning what the day will bring. the other day I woke up thinking it will be bad, and the day was good. today I woke up thinking it would be ok - and it was pretty bad.

 

Locotus, glad to see you're on the other side!!!  Hang in there.  It's tricky.  I had 5 weeks post jump no sxs, then got hit with a wave last couple of days. Be ready for ups and downs (hopefully ups!) and know that you're healing even when things get worse.

[[mi...]]

On day 10, and withdrawals hitting today.  I was wondering what you meant by feeling agitated because I think that's what I'm feeling. I feel like my body is tense and I can't lie down because I am on the verge of a panic attack but when I get up and walk around I seem to feel better.

[[lo...]]

agitated - feel like panic attack is around the corner, but it never comes. it is pretty much an all day feeling. at least today. my body also feels very tense, and I find some relief in taking a hot epson salt bath.

I had similar thing on Tuesday but way more intense. which was day 8 off.

but yesterday - I felt nearly fine. in a haze but happy. drove around the city and enjoyed some music. did gingerbread houses with kids and thought 'life is good'. that utopia came crashing down this morning ....

 

 

On day 10, and withdrawals hitting today.  I was wondering what you meant by feeling agitated because I think that's what I'm feeling. I feel like my body is tense and I can't lie down because I am on the verge of a panic attack but when I get up and walk around I seem to feel better.

[[mi...]]

That's exactly how I feel. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one but I do hope that it dissipates for you. i'm seriously at the point where I'm considering taking a rescue dose just to get my body to relax a little bit. I'll try the bath before I cave. Thank you for the tip! Here's to hoping both of us have a better day tomorrow

[[br...]]

 

Mini, please don't even think about a rescue dose. You have come this far so don't risk kindling and prolonging your recovery.

 

Yes it is all about the ups and downs or swings and roundabouts, or that movie classic, 'Box of Chocolates'. We never know what will come next. Surprise, surprise.

[[lo...]]

mini yeah don't do that rescue dose. I have not seen anybody here where that worked. I will check on you and we can track how you feel since we jumped same day, and have similar drug/dose/time.

gabapentin helps me tiny bit, but I am considering stopping it soon. i am not advocating for this med.

I am also experimenting with natural supplements like inositol, l-theanine,  fish oil, and altough they are not a quick fix, I believe they can aid more long-term.

I am also picking up propanolol today, and can update this thead if it helped bring down the physical a bit.

 

[[mi...]]

Thanks, brave rabbit and locotus. I guess I needed to hear that from people who are going through the same thing rather than my psychiatrist who has no idea what I'm going through. Thank you guys for the moral support

 

Locotus, definitely around to exchange notes as we go through this together.  I've tried propranolol, it definitely helps with the anxiety levels, at least in my experience. I had to stop taking it because it made my heart rate a little too low even on the lowest dose split in half. Let me know how it works for you!

[[pi...]]

7 days out !!!!....we all know by now it takes at least 18 to 20 months to get any relieve, and often more, so you better buckle up for a long ride !

 

Hello Oostende,

 

Actually we don't know that it takes at least 18-20 months to heal from benzodiazepine withdrawal. Everyone is different and everyone will heal at their own rate.  Many people will in fact recover sooner than the time line you posted.  Whatever the case, being benzo free is a great accomplishment, one to be proud of.  From that point on, it's important to let the body heal.  The central nervous system wants to return to balance and it will work towards that goal. 

 

pianogirl 

[[lo...]]

mini how do you feel today? I woke up 2 hours ago, and altough still hard, I feel a bit more hopeful for today. like the anxiety is 30-40% less. it is too early to call however at this point for me. I went for a little walk in the cold Los Angeles winter sun lol.

the propanolol definitely relaxes your body. it is a nice tool to have. but i think it made my mucus/breathing worse (chronic problem of mine), and I could not breathe through my nose. had to take some pseudoephedrine last night, and slept good afterwards.

I also took some 'emergency' low dose seroquel. it makes me sleep really good, and my mornings are not as dreadful so far. i took it on and off for the last months and had no problems stopping it.

let me know how it goes for you.

 

Thanks, brave rabbit and locotus. I guess I needed to hear that from people who are going through the same thing rather than my psychiatrist who has no idea what I'm going through. Thank you guys for the moral support

 

Locotus, definitely around to exchange notes as we go through this together.  I've tried propranolol, it definitely helps with the anxiety levels, at least in my experience. I had to stop taking it because it made my heart rate a little too low even on the lowest dose split in half. Let me know how it works for you!

[Guest [Ka...]]

Hi. I think attitude has alot to do with it (after the first 2-3 months of hell acute). I feel I am recovered, but with real stress(I call this real world stress) I feel my system weakens. Identifying the "weakened places" helps empower us for change. Sometimes I name what it is (i.e. intrusive thought, looping obsessive thought, crappy view thought...etc. you get the idea) and then switch to a better more constructive approach. Ask yourself "Is this useful". Direct your thoughts as soon as you can.

Making a daily schedule with exercise as a main component really helped my recovery. And distracting when the negative thinking comes in. I don't think "rescue doses" are an option for me...I don't keep it in the house...Xanax was/is addictive and the instant gratification was too easy...Good Luck, take it easy. Peace. Karuna

[[lo...]]

how did you survive your acute? I see that you c/t your xanax so I guess that was really rough. so far I'm in this every other day is hell rotation (and the 'good' ones are still hard, but I see some light)

how did you notice that it finally lets up a bit and what made you feel that recovery (even slow) shows some signs

 

Hi. I think attitude has alot to do with it (after the first 2-3 months of hell acute). I feel I am recovered, but with real stress(I call this real world stress) I feel my system weakens. Identifying the "weakened places" helps empower us for change. Sometimes I name what it is (i.e. intrusive thought, looping obsessive thought, crappy view thought...etc. you get the idea) and then switch to a better more constructive approach. Ask yourself "Is this useful". Direct your thoughts as soon as you can.

Making a daily schedule with exercise as a main component really helped my recovery. And distracting when the negative thinking comes in. I don't think "rescue doses" are an option for me...I don't keep it in the house...Xanax was/is addictive and the instant gratification was too easy...Good Luck, take it easy. Peace. Karuna

[Guest [Ka...]]

Hi Locutus. I hope you are OK. Here are some of the things I did, and still do. Acute is difficult, distraction and reducing any stimulation is key. If you can think of ways to simplify your life, make a journal, and write the steps down. Set very small realistic goals for your healing. Even if it is just drinking 1L of water per day. When I could tolerate it, I used powdered Magnesium ("CALM") in the water.

In acute; I made my bedroom as cozy and relaxing as I could; make it like a spa; a Self Care center. Make it as comfy as possible. Peaceful. Maybe something nice to look at; a tree out of the window, a place where you retreat to, peacefully.  In acute, I spent alot of time in the bedroom, later, to make it only for sleep. Clean sheets, good books, low lighting for relaxation. I dim lights now at about 5 PM and try to get my natural melatonin working for me. Radio on classical and/or smooth jazz station. I keep it on smooth jazz now; upstairs. (Unless I'm practicing music). In acute, this helps with intrusive thoughts. Now, it reminds me to shake and dance a couple of steps or more! Find a real good station you can groove to.

I wrote alot and played/practiced music everyday. I write alot, and combined with songwriting, this is emotional catharsis for me. Without music I don't know what i would do. That and my dog, (big yellow Labrador that needs walking regularly). Getting out of the house was key.

I used (and still do) a fan in bedroom; especially in summer very helpful. In winter too, provides fresher air, provides white noise.

I used salt baths. I ate whatever I felt I could; I didn't restrict foods; it felt better not to restrict; my head felt like I needed to eat what I could (pretty healthy overall).

I did as little as I could during acute. I went through about a month of feeling very fatigued, physical withdrawal symptoms, and alot of irritableness. Emotions were often overwhelming; and could change ten times in one day. Even within 10 minutes, I could change really fast from up to down, or down to up.

Once I could walk the dog, I made that my daily priority. Out in a beautiful place, and for as long as I could. In acute it's hard to exercise, but I do believe this is what turned my recovery around dramatically. Now, as i prepare to go back to work, I still make exercise a daily regime. Outdoors, in nature, very relaxing.

I used TM by month 3. Some form of meditation (chanting, or mindfulness techniques) really helps.

Acceptance of the situation. Not resisting that you now are going through this situation. It helps tremendously.

Reading success stories and helping others in this Forum helped me alot.

Good Luck. Time, patience, and self compassion are definitely the Ultimate keys. Peace. Karuna

 

 

 

 

[[lo...]]

thank you for the advice Karuna. I think at 11 days out I'm at full blast acute. I pretty much know what it means by now.

at first before it really set in, I had no idea what to expect. I hoped for easy time. it is not easy. Of course I don't know what tomorrow will bring.

I had some more light moments of acute, where I would enjoy simple things, but waves come crashing hard, and it is impossible to predict when or why they end.

and everybody seems to have a different experience, and it is hard to gather data, even from success stories, which would give some insight into the future. i started a blog, and I wish I could fast forward time and look into it.

[Guest [Ka...]]

Hi again. I hope you are doing OK. If you can eat and sleep, you'll make it through. Those are definitely two of the main "Must Do" Requirements in acute. If you can't eat, just try small amounts of warm foods; light things. And lots of water every day. It helps digestion (gaba system is in stomach/digestion also; not just brain). Take it easy, and stay in touch. Karuna

[[lo...]]

Hey Karuna - thanks, I am both eating and sleeping well (8h). but I feel like sleep is the only relief I get right now. the days are just hard.

 

Hi again. I hope you are doing OK. If you can eat and sleep, you'll make it through. Those are definitely two of the main "Must Do" Requirements in acute. If you can't eat, just try small amounts of warm foods; light things. And lots of water every day. It helps digestion (gaba system is in stomach/digestion also; not just brain). Take it easy, and stay in touch. Karuna