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Feel like what is the point...


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I'm suffering still and feel like I'm actually going back in time with my symptoms. I'm back to struggling with daily headaches and horrible benzo belly. I could barely get out of bed today and any time I have to work in one area of my job where it is 77 degrees and I'm active and sweating all day, I become basically non-functioning the next day as my symptoms are so revved up from heat stress.

 

I feel like what is the point of staying off benzos when I can barely function. I've gained a ton of weight. I'm lucky if I can get one major task done a day. Ever since stopping gabapentin I'm no longer healing in any single way. I'm just miserable.

 

What's the advantages of staying off benzos?

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Don't lose hope! Things will get better one day. It's just a long long long journey of healing.

 

Sorry to hear your having a rough time. At least you have been able to work for this long. That takes a whole lot of strength to do in recovery . Could you possibly take some time off? Not sure what your situation is but I am pretty sure you could go on medical leave or disability if your symptoms are bad enough.

 

I think we all have that thought during recovery. What's the point of not bieng on benzos? So much suffering leads us to think benzos are the answer but they are not. They are what put us into the horrible situation in the first place. Just remember why you started this journey to begin with.

 

Sounds like getting off the gaberpentin may have made you feel worse. Give yourself some time off of that stuff. Seems like people have very difficult days after discontinuing other drugs while in recovery .

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[ab...]

I was doing great and then crashed too - trying to hang on to the stuff that is still improving, such as sleep.

 

Please don't think benzos are ever a solution. They're why we're back in hell now.

 

Anyway, the setbacks are only temporary.  :thumbsup:

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I am nearly eighteen months now and one of my symptoms that wont let up is the bloat and distension...a lot of the weight we think we see is actually the bloat from the belly ... mine got worse not better but I am waiting for it to go away ..It has gone a few times but only for short times ...It's hard like a concrete layer over it ...hard to walk stand even sit at times ...It pushes up the chest ...causes spasms but I know it will go eventually... I am feeling so much better and good apart from this and a few lesser Intense others ....keep swimming to shore ..don't turn back...you will reach dry land ....Love Tass.x
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I'm suffering still and feel like I'm actually going back in time with my symptoms. I'm back to struggling with daily headaches and horrible benzo belly. I could barely get out of bed today and any time I have to work in one area of my job where it is 77 degrees and I'm active and sweating all day, I become basically non-functioning the next day as my symptoms are so revved up from heat stress.

 

I feel like what is the point of staying off benzos when I can barely function. I've gained a ton of weight. I'm lucky if I can get one major task done a day. Ever since stopping gabapentin I'm no longer healing in any single way. I'm just miserable.

 

What's the advantages of staying off benzos?

 

I hope you don't Kupgirl,

 

You've worked hard for this. Is it the reasons why you are doing this that has you concerned in general or is it totally intolerable??  You do have to go back and explore the reasons you made the decision to stop and rethink things. I remember all your determination and willpower. I admire you for it, because I know how tough it is...I really don't want you to lose any amount of progress you've already made, just to find out in the future that you have to do it all over again starting at square one.

 

If anything, and I know people aren't going to like this, you probably won't either, but if you need some relief at all it would be wiser to take the Gabapentin in low doses at first and see if that helps. It's a tough one to get off too, as you know, but in comparison it's nothing like benzos. Ideally you'd stay off both, but you're the one who ultimately has to decide, of course. You took on a double dose of hardship coming off both of these so close together, and the sxs do come back and go away...thus windows and waves. They are doing this all too often for me, as well. I still take gabapentin and will not touch it until I have more control over this benzo deal. It's too stressful the way it is!

 

Are the supplements not helping any longer? Was hoping they offered you some relief longer than just temporary. Good luck, sweetie.

 

~CeCe        :smitten:

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Hey KUG, This suffering sucks I know. But it will be worth it.

I also came off Gabapentin shortly after my taper of benzos. I think it caused everything to get worse for a while, but I am glad I did now. Things are much better than 14 months ago.

Going back on Klonopin is not the answer, most likely it would put you back into a worse hell.

You're not alone work has been very hard me as well, but we have made it this far so just keep on going.

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Kgirl, I have been reading and following you for a while.....I think it is important to point out that you got off K very fast and went C/T from what many are taking to BEGIN their taper!, if I am reading your sig properly....and then you got off your other meds also very quickly.  As bad as K is to recover from, you have other receptors trying to recover at the same time....I am only a little ahead of you time wise, and about 1.5 weeks ago I almost threw in the towel...now I am glad I didn't, because a few days later I started noticing improvements in all of my symptoms.  We who get off several mind altering chemicals cannot measure our progress the same way as if we were only stopping Benzos...all of those systems are interconnected and influence each other's recovery.

If Gabapentin helps, then take it until you are further into recovery, and yes, I often questioned why stop the K, and now that my mind fog is clearing I KNOW why it was important to get off the K and other meds!!!

Please keep posting, I am eager to see when you start improving again!!

Best wishes...

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Don't lose hope! Things will get better one day. It's just a long long long journey of healing.

 

Sorry to hear your having a rough time. At least you have been able to work for this long. That takes a whole lot of strength to do in recovery . Could you possibly take some time off? Not sure what your situation is but I am pretty sure you could go on medical leave or disability if your symptoms are bad enough.

 

I think we all have that thought during recovery. What's the point of not bieng on benzos? So much suffering leads us to think benzos are the answer but they are not. They are what put us into the horrible situation in the first place. Just remember why you started this journey to begin with.

 

Sounds like getting off the gaberpentin may have made you feel worse. Give yourself some time off of that stuff. Seems like people have very difficult days after discontinuing other drugs while in recovery .

 

Thank you so much. I needed this encouragement and I'm so glad this board is here.

 

I feel absolutely ashamed to admit this but I did not believe the stories of people who suffered after going through acute withdrawal coming off benzos. I really thought it must be a return of old symptoms or linked to the anxiety (since most people are put on these for anxiety). This has been a huge learning experience and has actually giving me much more empathy for people. If people tell me they don't feel good I BELIEVE THEM and when they say they think x y z messed them up I BELIEVE THEM.

 

I have taken intermittent time off (well when I couldn't work on those days it was too much), and I often wonder how I can keep going at work when I feel this bad but the days I physically manage it is great for my mood.

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I am nearly eighteen months now and one of my symptoms that wont let up is the bloat and distension...a lot of the weight we think we see is actually the bloat from the belly ... mine got worse not better but I am waiting for it to go away ..It has gone a few times but only for short times ...It's hard like a concrete layer over it ...hard to walk stand even sit at times ...It pushes up the chest ...causes spasms but I know it will go eventually... I am feeling so much better and good apart from this and a few lesser Intense others ....keep swimming to shore ..don't turn back...you will reach dry land ....Love Tass.x

 

I don't know how or why but when I bloat it triggers all my mental symptoms like DP/DR/agitation and akathisia. If I can get the bloating to leave then those symptoms subside.

 

I usually wake up not bloated but yesterday I woke up fully bloated and so it was an especially hard day and finally I took some gas x after posting this. The bloating did subside and the other symptoms diminished.

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I'm suffering still and feel like I'm actually going back in time with my symptoms. I'm back to struggling with daily headaches and horrible benzo belly. I could barely get out of bed today and any time I have to work in one area of my job where it is 77 degrees and I'm active and sweating all day, I become basically non-functioning the next day as my symptoms are so revved up from heat stress.

 

I feel like what is the point of staying off benzos when I can barely function. I've gained a ton of weight. I'm lucky if I can get one major task done a day. Ever since stopping gabapentin I'm no longer healing in any single way. I'm just miserable.

 

What's the advantages of staying off benzos?

 

I hope you don't Kupgirl,

 

You've worked hard for this. Is it the reasons why you are doing this that has you concerned in general or is it totally intolerable??  You do have to go back and explore the reasons you made the decision to stop and rethink things. I remember all your determination and willpower. I admire you for it, because I know how tough it is...I really don't want you to lose any amount of progress you've already made, just to find out in the future that you have to do it all over again starting at square one.

 

If anything, and I know people aren't going to like this, you probably won't either, but if you need some relief at all it would be wiser to take the Gabapentin in low doses at first and see if that helps. It's a tough one to get off too, as you know, but in comparison it's nothing like benzos. Ideally you'd stay off both, but you're the one who ultimately has to decide, of course. You took on a double dose of hardship coming off both of these so close together, and the sxs do come back and go away...thus windows and waves. They are doing this all too often for me, as well. I still take gabapentin and will not touch it until I have more control over this benzo deal. It's too stressful the way it is!

 

Are the supplements not helping any longer? Was hoping they offered you some relief longer than just temporary. Good luck, sweetie.

 

~CeCe        :smitten:

 

CeCe, you have been such a pillar of strength and I appreciate all your posts and contributions. I stopped the supplements after I developed what I thought was gastritis but it hasn't improved completely so I don't think it was the rooibos tea or ashwagandha causing it. I was feeling improved before this gastritis.

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