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Stalker of Benzo buddies


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I joined BB many months ago when I was suffering and I guess in what you would call the acute phase all though I felt like the accute phase lasted for around 5 months for me? At the time I couldn't even concentrate enough to absorb how the forum works. I have gotten much better since then and I am really close to posting a success story and I really want to since I have a feeling that most people never do. I also have a feeling that thousands do the same as I have and stalk the forum for answers but either never join or never end up posting anything. I moraly just can't do that since I know how hard this journey can be and I feel for anyone who is in withdrawal and I feel that I should give back since BB has given me the hope and understanding to get as far as I have.

 

Just a little about me. I used to take pretty much any Benzo I could get my hands on for the last 10 years and a lot of them. For me they were a God sent at the time since they basically allowed me to quit drinking and kept me in a really good mood and stress free. I was running a half a million dollar a year company at the time but I was in my late 20s and still partied way too much so Benzos were the perfect way to balance that out for me. I had built a wonderful family as well but in 2009 the problems started when I ran out of Benzos and I then realized what the withdrawal was like. I quickly searched the Internet and found the Ashton manual and also found me a doctor who would help me taper off. I was mainly taking klonopin so after researching I had him put me on Valium. It took me about 6 months to wean off and I got off at the time with almost zero side effects. My doctor was so proud and so was I. Then my father died and I started having marriage problems at the same time so about 6 months later I chose to go back on. With all the problems I was having I started abusing mainly Xanax at extreme levels. I remember one time taking 10 bars at once and my mother coming over and finding me past out and incoherent. I was like that for over 24 hours or more which scared the hell out of me so I knew I had to quit again before I killed myself. I tried to wean off twice (way to fast) over the last few years unsuccessfully and then as of 2015 I finally got fed up enough to go find another doctor who would prescribe me Valium and help me wean off once and for all. I started weaning for the final time in May of 2015 and stopped completely in March of 2016. Now looking back I went way too fast but I just couldn't continue living like this anymore. I'm now a single father of 3 children and have lost almost everything partially due to Benzos and I know that I just can't get my life back together while being on Benzos.

 

So that takes me to where I am today. Since stopping on March 5th completely (now 8.5 months off) I didn't expect anything close to what this withdrawal has been like. My worst symptom was head pressure and face tingling/burning (parathesia) by far. It was so bad that I couldn't even worry about anything else. Now I have days where it's completely gone and when it's at it worse it's not hardly noticeable so I am very releaved. I would say that I am probably 80% recovered with many 100% days that almost feel euphoric since it has been so long since I felt normal and had normal emotions and could really enjoy living.

 

So anyways if anyone has any questions or needs any support I will try to answer them the best I can and I will hang around a little bit until I write my success story so that I can give back a little. Anyone out there doubting whether we really heal, I can tell you as the most screwed up and kindled benzo abuser, I am healing and I wouldn't have believed it myself just a few months ago.

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Hi Snide001 :hug: Welcome to benzobuddies

 

Well done to you for tapering off, its not easy to do without support.  I am sorry to hear you lost your Father, that must have been a very tough time for you.  Thank you for joining and for your kind offer of support for our members.  You sound like your doing okay so far, withdrawal symptoms are awful but you know they are temporary. You will get your life back with more time.

 

You have your hands full being a single Dad of 3, and going through withdrawal, wow!! you should be very proud of yourself!  Are you familiar with “Professor Ashton's  manual” it helps to validate some of the symptoms you are feeling.  You have a great attitude and I look forward to reading your success story!

 

I am putting a link to the Ashton Manual here, there is a wealth of information  about benzo withdrawal: Professor Ashtons Manual 

 

We have a wonderful community here,  our members are a caring friendly bunch and will help you all they can. You will receive a lot of support here coming from people who know exactly what you are going through

 

Here is a link to the Post/Withdrawal/Recovery Support: Post Withdrawal Recovery Support.

 

To allow others to see where you are in the process so they can better support you, we ask that you ”Create a signature”

 

Welcome aboard

 

Magrita

 

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Hi Snide001,

 

Congratulations on your success thus far and I'm really glad you decided that you want to help others.  Both are truly great things!

 

All the Best,

Ed

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