What's wrong with me seriously

[[Pr...]]

I'm tired of this. I cold turkeyed k 4.5 months ago and I'm barely doing any better. I get 0 to Barely any sleep every night. I have a rare night I get 8+. I'm always scared all the time. My thoughts are scary. Feeling of people going to hurt me... Fears of crazy stuff that no one should have to deal with. While on both k and trazodone I developed paranoia and OCD. The fourth year being on this happened to me. I got off on the 5th year being on and the doctor cold turkeyed me. I was on . 5 mg. I can't even begin to explain what the first and second month was like. Except I don't know how I'm alive. I've stayed off.. Thought about reinstating many many time but never did. Didn't even cave in and take one. I've wanted to trust me. I don't feel "safe" anywhere. Not in my house, not at my bosses house, not at my boyfriends house. I always feel scared. My heart pounds and I go into complete anxity panic state mainly at night. I am going to work lately and I don't know how I'm doing this. It's hard. Hard to know I have something to do when I don't sleep is bad. I'm starting to worry that this is just me and how I will always be. I'm sick of complaining. I want this to end. No one should ever have to go through what I've been through and I'm tired of looking past that. I see barely improvement... A little tiny bit calmer and that's all. It's scaring me. I was on .5 for 5 years and thrown off in two

Weeks which is a cold turkey. I'm tired of this guys. I got a apartment thinking I would feel "safe" there but haha couldn't even stay one night without panicking there was a meth lab and bluh bluh bluh anything else that could do me harm. Help

[[KR...]]

The feeling of being afraid during withdrawl is quite normal. At least it was for me. I wanted someone around me all the time due to the intrusive thoughts the withdrawl was making me have. I felt as long as someone was by me i was safe. Or the withdrawl couldnt hurt me. My brain was flipped out during the early phases of withdrawl.....unreal and very scary. So glad those symptoms went away. Unreal.

 

When no one could be with me i would stay logged on this site and chat the night away back when they had chat rooms on here. Lifesaver feature...to bad its gone.

 

The scared feeling will fade away...just like it did for me. Along with any intrusive tboughts your having that are making you afraid. This is all just a really mean process of withdrawl that some of us have to go through in order to get better.

 

Stay strong.... if i made it through this nightmare.....so can you.!!!

[[Pr...]]

Are you basically healed now? Thanks for that reply it's been way tough.

[[be...]]

Fear by far was my worst symptom. However, my fear was not attached to anything. Yours seems to be a bit more attached. I could not spend a minute by myself during the day. So everyday I drove across town to spend 8 to 9 hours on a friend's couch. My fear was less in the evenings so I would go home. I repeated this day after day for months. However, I started to see real improvement going into my fifth month and then finally I was okay at my place. I am hoping that soon you will feel a reduction in your fear soon. I know how terrifying it is.

[[Pr...]]

Yea for some reason I can't just have the feeling... I attach it to things. It's like my brain needs a reason to be scared and it latches onto anything and everything it can. I'm 4 months and 2 weeks out. But paranoia and intrusive thoughts are what cause me my bad insomnia. By far my worst sxss

[[KR...]]

Are you basically healed now? Thanks for that reply it's been way tough.

 

Yes....the nightmare is gone. I just pop on here every now and then to lend support to the members that are coming through withdrawal behind me. Plus chat with a old friend of mine.

 

This Cold Turkey and Rapid Withdrawl Section hits home most with me since I went CT in a Detox Center.

 

I want everyone to know that The withdrawal will lie to you and make you think your ruined forever. But I'm here to tell you it's just playing tricks on your brain.