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1 year


[-J...]

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Wow, I honestly didn't think I would ever get here! It has been without doubt, the most miserable, isolating year of my life but I am so happy to report to you all how much things have improved.

 

I am functioning somewhere around 80-90% back to normal, and although my system is still fragile and my stomach unpredictable, there is a night and day difference from where I was last year at this time. I am back in school, finishing my degree and applying to graduate programs - something I thought I would never be healed enough to do. My progress has been slow yes, but miraculous nonetheless and I'm so grateful that I held on through the worst of it. I am stronger and wiser. Also, I am eternally grateful to my friends and family (and to this site) that supported me during my darkest days.

 

For those of you that are still suffering unimaginably, hang on ! Let me be your proof that it gets better, because it does.

 

Love, peace, and positive vibes,

 

Job

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Congratulations, Job!

 

May I ask if you suffered from cogfog/dp/dr as primary symptoms? If so, how are you doing in those areas now?

 

8 months and 1 week off and struggling with these three symptoms beyond any capacity to convey :(

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Thanks verax.

 

Yes, I had severe cogfog. I could barely tell you my name after ct. It got better with time and short bursts of cognitive practice. I read with frequent breaks. I played blitz chess because that was the extent of my attention span. Being in school gave me an excuse to try. Take heart, it gets better. The brain has a remarkable ability to heal itself.

 

As for DP/DR, I had this symptom long before benzo's due to PTSD. I think w/d exacerbated this feeling, but it's tough for me to say how much is benzo related and how much I would have struggled anyway. It seems to improve and decline with my mood. I suspect this will get better with time for you, however, like the rest of your sxs. 

 

Hope this helps.

 

Job

 

 

 

 

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Congrats thats so awesome!!!!!!!!! :thumbs:

Did you notice that after having made that year, you are able to deal much better with your PTSD? My long taper time really was hell, but that experience helped me more with my PTSD than any therapy I made because I had to practice strategies and trust myself and do my own thing no matter what.. difficult to explain. I am just curious if others can relate to that.

Would appreciate your answer!

Marigold

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey Marigold,

 

Yes, w/d inadvertently helped me heal from PTSD. I had never been required to practice mindfulness and self distraction so constantly as when I was in acute. I think developing these skills made a difference. Also, my scale of suffering and distress tolerance in general grew quite a bit. It's the most miserable, hellish, roundabout way to battle PTSD so I wouldn't recommend it - but I rarely do things the easy way! What's important to me is that some glimmer of positivity came out of this mess.

 

Job

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Hey Marigold,

 

Yes, w/d inadvertently helped me heal from PTSD. I had never been required to practice mindfulness and self distraction so constantly as when I was in acute. I think developing these skills made a difference. Also, my scale of suffering and distress tolerance in general grew quite a bit. It's the most miserable, hellish, roundabout way to battle PTSD so I wouldn't recommend it - but I rarely do things the easy way! What's important to me is that some glimmer of positivity came out of this mess.

 

Job

 

 

Hi Job,

thank you so much for writing me back. Its so cool to know that others with PTSD have made the same experience while going through the WD hell. As you said - wd forces us to practice strategies in order not to die....

I really wish you the best life - I think the fact that you came through both the trauma and the withdrawal makes you much opener to the nice things in life than other persons can be. Hug!!! Marigold

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Congrats on 1 year free of this monster poison. I had to respond as I am at 1\2 of your journey. I didnt think I would get this far. I hope that you continue to improve.
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