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Really scary and looping thoughts


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I am 6 months out from my last dose of Klonopin. I had a horrific time at 4 weeks out and then been in waves and Windows. This wave is pretty intense. I have had serious paranoid thoughts with being possessed or evil spirits coming over me. I haven't ever felt this way prior to the benzo withdrawal. I have thoughts that I am going mad or gonna end up in mental ward. It is like a nightmare keeps replaying. Is this the withdrawal this far out? My family is at the point they don't know what to do with me. I just want to know that i am not losing it and will have a good life. That I am not alone and will not harm my kids because of this, I don't want them to end up like me.

I just remember in nursing school and working ER that a lot of mental patients had thoughts they were demon possessed, or paranoia. This isn't me, it feels like something or someone else has hijacked my mind.  Any suggestions or been theres would be appreciated.

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I'm extremely paranoid and I have intrusive thoughts like crazy right now. I'm 3.5 months out from

A cold turkey off k. I know how you feel. Mine isn't going away and it's making me angry and sad and scared that I will never be normal again. I'm sorry I don't know if it's normal at 6.5 months out though

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Yes, it's normal. I have the craziest thoughts and I'm six months out. Just the fact that you recognize that these thoughts are not normal, means you're not crazy or mad. Someone with a real mental illness cannot recognize the thoughts as being "not them, or not real". It's just your fear feeding off your experiences. Don't worry about them, and they will lose intensity. Take care.
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Wantmylyfeback, trust me I want to believe I'm going crazy everyday. I am 10 months out now. As much as we want to push out the intrusive thoughts, and that is what you have, eventually we have to let our minds rest and once we do that even for a second bam, the thoughts are there. It is really a frustrating part of this whole process. But know it is temporary, we are not going crazy, or at least we hope not. It will get better with time.
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Thank y'all so much. This has been one of most crippling symptoms I have had. It's like I want to scream and vomit all at the same time, yet I am so scared to speak it because I am afraid I sound mad. Sometimes I can quickly pull out of them, sometimes it is a constant loop that plays and plays. It is where I don't trust my own thoughts or feelings, all the trauma from my life are coming out left and right, everything I never dealt with or thought I did. I just want a break from it, to stop the gremlin that is defiling my brain. Exit stage left please.

I send y'all my love and thank you for your support/comments. It truly sucks that our medical system does more harm than helps (totally against the hippocractic oath they take and the nightingale pledge we take as nurses.

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Sounds a lot like my psychosis. I was convinced I was the antichrist and had ghost energy. All the evil of the world was because of my energy. I also thought that demons were messing with my stuff, people trying to kill me etc. I saw patterns in everything. For me it went away at 4 months out.
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This thread is the most I can agree with. Summarizes my experience in the cold turkey. I'm going on 5 months off and still have these thoughts but I'm starting to let go of them atleast I think.
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  • 4 weeks later...

Scary and morbid (mine were the latter) intrusive thoughts are very common during withdrawal, and this type of symptom does mirror certain mental disorders.  But, as your system and brain calms down to a point where it's not looking for threats everywhere, these thoughts and images will fade away.  Mine did, and yours will too.  There is an intrusive thoughts support group, here:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=165953.0

 

 

:smitten:

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