I need some postive words

[[Ia...]]

I am struggling bad, my head is so messed up I can't shake it.  I run my own business where I need to go out daily... as of now I am officially off benzos for 2 months today and today is the first day I crumbled and realized I can't drive anymore, I am slowly losing my business and I am the one who pay the bills.  I have horrible dp/dr, My head spins and super dizzy, lightheaded and my anxiety is making me fall to the floor.  This is no way to live.  Luckily my GF is helping but I am falling behind.  I hate not knowing what is to come next as I am almost unfunctional now.  I hate that I am in this trance I can't get out of.  It is sad that I would rather be 1 week off benzos than two months.  Now I see why people want to reinstate.....  I need help for sure but don;t know what to do.  I wish I could take 6 months off but I can't..... I can;t even see right, I can't barely do the massive amount of things I used to do......BUT I HAVE TO.... this sucks so bad.

[[Ka...]]

This WILL get better l am seven n half month's off and feeling much better it must be bad for you having to run your business l don't know how that work's but if you can let SOME thing's go just do what you have to do l know it's easy for me to say but in time you will be better than you have ever been stay with it, it will be over before you know it. Love KatrinaX

[[nh...]]

I'm in the same boat bud, feel like I'm loosing my mind, this is pure hell I feel like there's something wrong with me, we gotta hang in here together we will beat this we will.

[[Na...]]

Just wait a little while longer. You are in the acute stage and it may not get better for another 60 days.  My acute stage lasted 120 days even after a very slow taper.  Try to cut out all things in your life that are unnecessary that over stimulate you. That's how I made it.  You will get better. I was scared that I would never get better, but it did happen.

[[Ia...]]

Thanks everyone.... I am just scared.. I was only only the damn things for 3 months.

[[be...]]

I had many of the symptoms you descibe at two months in. One of the worst ones was the crippling DP/DR. It was mentally excruciating to say the least. At times I thoght I was losing my mind. I personally saw huge progress in healing between my fourth and fifth month. It was really when I begin to see that there really was light at the end of the tunnel. The first few months can be nothing less than horrific. But I promise, It really does get better.  Your CNS has been through a lot. It needs to heal, but heal it will. I think over the next few months you will feel some noticeable improvement. There will be a time when this is all behind you, but it sure can be a miserable process to get there. The good thing is that you never have to do the last 60 days over again. Like nhbuck28 said you will beat this. :smitten:

[[nh...]]

I'm a tad over two months after ten years of use, can you feel the dp/Dr actually change in front of you?

[[Ia...]]

I had many of the symptoms you descibe at two months in. One of the worst ones was the crippling DP/DR. It was mentally excruciating to say the least. At times I thoght I was losing my mind. I personally saw huge progress in healing between my fourth and fifth month. It was really when I begin to see that there really was light at the end of the tunnel. The first few months can be nothing less than horrific. But I promise, It really does get better.  Your CNS has been through a lot. It needs to heal, but heal it will. I think over the next few months you will feel some noticeable improvement. There will be a time when this is all behind you, but it sure can be a miserable process to get there. The good thing is that you never have to do the last 60 days over again. Like nhbuck28 said you will beat this. :smitten:

 

You made me cry... in a good way... I am so overwhelmed.  I hate looking in the mirror and not seeing me.  Im so sorry you went through this as well but so glad you are here to comment.

[[Ia...]]

I'm a tad over two months after ten years of use, can you feel the dp/Dr actually change in front of you?

It gets worse everyday... sadly I was born with it but nowhere near like this.  When I feel slightly OK I try not to move so it doesnt get worse.... once I move I can feel it morph..... I feel so unstable.

[[nh...]]

I always feel like I can't swallow you ever get that?

[[Ia...]]

I always feel like I can't swallow you ever get that?

 

Absolutely, I just breathe through my nose and hope I forget about it.  I don;t have that everyday but I get it alot.

[[nh...]]

idk how you can even work dude, no way i could hold a job feeling like this, hell i cant even walk straight

[[Ia...]]

idk how you can even work dude, no way i could hold a job feeling like this, hell i cant even walk straight

 

I am an adult with lots of bills, if I can;t work which I am close to I am my fanily go homeless... I am working on getting help for my business so I am hoping to atleast get by for a while.  Anyway I don;t want to think about the negative on this thread

[[Da...]]

I know all the feeling you are discussing and I'm at 11 months right now. The DR/DP ruins every connection I ever had with anybody. I still feel like a stranger to myself. If someone told me before rehab that this is where I will be after 11 months, I would said they were crazy. I have been totally unable to work and I had to close down my business. I tried to work but it was futile, I would be awake day after day.

 

There is nothing we can do about this pain. I have to be here for my loved ones and it sounds like you do too. If anybody told me before I went to rehab that at 11 months out I would still feel like this I would have told them they were crazy. I forgot you asked for a positive message. There is so much negative it is sometimes hard to even know the positive. But here it is.

 

I have now made it 11 months. I have wanted to give up probably thousands of times. If I can do it and make it for 11 months anybody can do it. We have to stay strong and realize what poison this is and how badly it has effected us. Hang in there man better days are coming.

[[Ia...]]

I know all the feeling you are discussing and I'm at 11 months right now. The DR/DP ruins every connection I ever had with anybody. I still feel like a stranger to myself. If someone told me before rehab that this is where I will be after 11 months, I would said they were crazy. I have been totally unable to work and I had to close down my business. I tried to work but it was futile, I would be awake day after day.

 

There is nothing we can do about this pain. I have to be here for my loved ones and it sounds like you do too. If anybody told me before I went to rehab that at 11 months out I would still feel like this I would have told them they were crazy. I forgot you asked for a positive message. There is so much negative it is sometimes hard to even know the positive. But here it is.

 

I have now made it 11 months. I have wanted to give up probably thousands of times. If I can do it and make it for 11 months anybody can do it. We have to stay strong and realize what poison this is and how badly it has effected us. Hang in there man better days are coming.

 

Thanks DAVIS1 - I get it... the negative always seems to outway the positive..... You are an f'n trooper at 11 months...but ya got to think of it this way, you were on shit for 15 years so you have alot of healing to do... I wish you the best and message me anytime if you want to chat!  I only took Xanax fora few months and I am scared at what has happened to me.... I thought I would get by ok especially after the first month, yah I was a mess but I could function, now at 2 months my pysical symptoms have been mostly gone and the mental has gone crazy...Id take physical over mental anyday.

[[of...]]

Your in the worst of it right now. Xanax is pretty heavy duty $hit

I understand where your coming from. I had to work through my taper and withdrawal. Almost four years combined, 60-70 hours a week working under cars. Work began to seem like it was impossible, but it became a blessing, it helped me distract from symptoms.

 

You'll get better. It just takes time

[[Ia...]]

Ya know what bums me out....  I was originally told by my doctor which I thoroughly didn't believe that I'd be better in four days, that's pretty funny but I came to the conclusion that in 2 weeks I would start to feel better, good thing I found you guys. I would think I was completely brain-damaged if it wasn't for you guys.  I did sincerely believe though by two months my Acute would be over.  sadly this is the worst of mental symptoms I have ever had....and I hope to God it's doesnt get worse.  I keep on thinking that being on benzo's for only three months will be better in the long run for me, I pray that it iS the case.

[[of...]]

How's your sleep?

[[Ia...]]

How's your sleep?

 

If it wasn't for remeron I wouldn't sleep at all.  I sleep most nights 7 hours.  Although if it wasn't for Remeron i might not have as much brain fog.  Can't say for sure if it's coming from Remeron or benzo withdrawal

[[of...]]

What's your business?

[[Ca...]]

You will recover.  It does take time.  It is hard.  But keep going, one minute, one hour, one day at a time.  Try to distract yourself whenever you can; one moment of distraction is victory.

 

I've been where you are and am now out the other side.  You can do this

[[Ia...]]

You will recover.  It does take time.  It is hard.  But keep going, one minute, one hour, one day at a time.  Try to distract yourself whenever you can; one moment of distraction is victory.

 

I've been where you are and am now out the other side.  You can do this

 

HI!  Thanks for replying!  Did you have horrible DP/DR with dizzyness and head stuff?  That is my worst.

[[Ca...]]

I absolutely did.  DP and the most awful dizziness.  I still have bits of those now but NOTHING like they were.  So everything is now more than tolerable.  My head has zaps and my short term memory isn't good, DP has gone, dizziness comes and goes but  am so, so much better.

 

Keep going.  It feels like a never eating battle but each hour of each day you are winning.  Slowly but surely you'll get to be yourself agin.  Be patient and give it time.

[[Oo...]]

'Better days are coming', 'You get better soon'...so tired of reading this fairytale stories, just saw the documentary 'The Benzodiazepine Medical Disaster' this documentary by Shane Kenny and it is shocking. The damage that benzo's inflict on the brain is terrible and often patients are stuck with agonizing symptoms for the rest of their live, what a tragedy and medical disaster !

 

 

 

At the end, there is a quote from a statement made by the BMA for the inaugural World Benzodiazepine Awareness Day.

 

[[Ca...]]

My recovery is no fairy tale.  It is fact and I'm grateful for that.

 

Wishing you well though Oostende