Does sleep eventually improve?

[[wo...]]

Hi sleeplessMT , yep my sleep problems just came out of no where , no drugs issues , - just wish i could get back to 15 to 20 hours a week again i would be happy , this 1 or 2 hours a week is  horrendous .

Last night i slept 1 hour and i took a cocktail of meds to obtain this , 30 minutes after i took my diazepam  i took 7.5 mg mirtazapine 6 mg of melatonin 100 mg of quetiapine and 600 mg of gabapentin  ... all for 1 hour ,that was more meds in number than i usually take but i was desperate for some sleep as my speech and memory was going , also i never take the same meds in consecutive days as they dont work so i will either do without or try something else , the only regular things i use are  the diazepam re the taper and the mirtazapine .

It is just hell , besides the pain i am in .

My early days re family life have been a roller coaster , but i dont think it has been an issue with sleep , but it certainly wont have helped , my father died in an accident when i was 9 he was hit by a train , my mother unfortunately died 20 years ago via lung cancer related  to smoking , and my brother was badly depressed and took his own life via hanging nearly 5 years ago , just me and my older sister left  .

[[Bl...]]

Wolfbane...you sound just like me, my sleep deprivation is so bad that I don't even feel the need or supps anymore.  I'm scared I'm going to die like this, I literally can't sleep at all and I'm physically deteriorating fast. I've thought of suicice but I really want to live. I don't know how we get through this 😰

[[wo...]]

Hi blueswan , i have often the same thoughts as i dont want to live like this much longer , but also like you i want to live , my immune system is under serious pressure/deterioration , my strength is going my alertness my confidence .. everything , i am just trying to live in hope ...... i just hope it is not all hopeless . 

[[jo...]]

I was in a similar situation and my answer to Your question is it probably will unless like Myself You have another underlying illness like depression or an anxiety disorder which can keep sleep at bay for who knows how long.

[[Ma...]]

Another example of what I mean by not being constrained by sleep hygiene rules during severe withdrawal insomnia is watching TV late at night. I found that to be a welcomed distraction when I was awake buzzing with anxiety. I wasn't likely to sleep anyway so I decided not to worry about blue light keeping me awake. In fact I actually would doze a bit in front of the TV.

 

I also did not concern myself with staying in my normal sleeping space. My behavioral therapist at the time was certain that I would imprint on another sleeping place and have a hard time returning to my bed. Luckily I ignored this advice as well as most of her other CBT advice and went with what worked for me. Even throwing out my sleep log worked out to be a good thing since doing so helped direct my attention away from my sleep fixation a bit, making it feel more like a natural thing rather than a science experiment.

 

You did a good job not listening to your therapist. We are in WD. Everything that keeps up from thinking about insomnia is GREAT. And every hour we get sleep, no matter when is GREAT. I learned not to panic any more although I am suffering a lot under that sleeping issue. I pretend to nap - thats how I call it. And I found TV helpful, too. Its like I would tell my brain "don't panic - I don't want to sleep I just close my eyes a little bit and listen" --> and then the brain fells asleep sometimes:-)))

[[Ma...]]

I really hope sleep will come to all of us :'(

This is really the torture I want to give my worst enemy. Really.

Hugs,

Marigold

[[Si...]]

I had terrible insomnia for a long time. Probably not nearly as bad as some of you, but I was regularly missing 2 and 3 nights at a time. I haven't missed a night in almost a year now though. So it can / does get better. I've had a few rough nights in the last year, but nothing like it was in the worst of it.

[[Bh...]]

Siggy, what month did your sleep regulate again after jumping? Just wondering.

 

Thanks for coming back to help us here...you are very kind 

[[of...]]

Month 26 for me

[[Si...]]

Siggy, what month did your sleep regulate again after jumping? Just wondering.

 

Thanks for coming back to help us here...you are very kind 

 

It was really up and down for a few months before this, but most of my symptoms (including the insomnia) rapidly went away between months 18 and 19.

[[Si...]]

Just an update. I've totally screwed myself by drinking at a company Christmas party. My insomnia is now back. PLEASE stay away from alcohol. I've ruined all the hard work and time I put in by one stupid night.

[[sl...]]

Siggy,

 

That's just awful.  Very sorry to hear that.  So hard to think that some of us can never enjoy an alcoholic drink again without possibly suffering for it.  I miss having a glass of wine or a red beer, but will probably never touch them again.  Hopefully things turn around soon. 

[[Si...]]

Thanks sleepless, I didn't sleep at all last night. I was so frustrated. I can't believe I'm in this situation again. How are you doing?

[[MT...]]

Siggy,

 

I've been reading how much you're beating yourself up for drinking leading to a return in insomnia. You made a mistake and did something that normal people can do and even a bunch of folks on BB can do. You'd tested the waters with smaller amounts and had done OK. This nervous system sensitivity we have is both extreme and at times, terribly arbitrary. Please be gentle with yourself. Can any of us say we haven't made some bad decisions during all of this? I sure have made some whoppers. We fall, we get up again. We learn. You've been very unselfish in sharing your experience so the rest of us can learn from it. You could have kept it to yourself to defend your pride. I have a lot of respect for you for talking so honestly about it. Thank you for doing this. This will turn around for you. You know your brain is capable of sleep. It just needs a refresher course. EXTREMELY frustrating but temporary. Give yourself some grace.

 

MT

[[Si...]]

Siggy,

 

I've been reading how much you're beating yourself up for drinking leading to a return in insomnia. You made a mistake and did something that normal people can do and even a bunch of folks on BB can do. You'd tested the waters with smaller amounts and had done OK. This nervous system sensitivity we have is both extreme and at times, terribly arbitrary. Please be gentle with yourself. Can any of us say we haven't made some bad decisions during all of this? I sure have made some whoppers. We fall, we get up again. We learn. You've been very unselfish in sharing your experience so the rest of us can learn from it. You could have kept it to yourself to defend your pride. I have a lot of respect for you for talking so honestly about it. Thank you for doing this. This will turn around for you. You know your brain is capable of sleep. It just needs a refresher course. EXTREMELY frustrating but temporary. Give yourself some grace.

 

MT

 

Thanks so much MT! It really means a lot to me. I know you've had your own big battle with this. You are such s strong trooper to me. I just have to clamp down and weather the storm. If I can keep even one person from screwing up like I did, then I don't have any problem being honest. I just hope it doesn't take too long. I thought I'd have a second night of no sleep last night, but eventually I got about 5 hours. Hope you're doing ok these days.

[[MT...]]

So glad you got some sleep last night Siggy. I'm enduring. The last few nights there have been more microsleeps so I'm trying to see that as progress after so many nights of zero these past few months.

[[Si...]]

Tonight was another lousy night. I've laid in bed as quiet and still as possible and I've only gotten some micro and light wave sleep. How the hell can I go from feeling basically healed to this? WTF!

 

Sorry you're still having a rough one too MT. This shit is unbelievable. I have no idea when it's going to get better.

[Guest [Th...]]

Hi Siggy,

 

Me too that makes two nights in a row.  Scary though as to why I don't feel tired?  That is making me think something else is going on. 2 nights of micro or very light sleep and not even tired?  WTF

[[Si...]]

Hi Siggy,

 

Me too that makes two nights in a row.  Scary though as to why I don't feel tired?  That is making me think something else is going on. 2 nights of micro or very light sleep and not even tired?  WTF

 

Yeah, that stuff drives me crazy. I don't understand how you can't be sleepy after missing that much sleep. Totally baffled by it. What really gets me is I had all of that back and ruined it by a few stupid drinks. What an idiot I am.

[Guest [Th...]]

I wouldn't beat yourself up too much.  How did you know that this far out alcohol would still be a factor?  Like you said, you went most of 2016 sleeping really well and now this BS again.  But I think this time around you will recover much quicker.  Here's to hoping we both get some decent sleep tonight. 

[[Si...]]

I wouldn't beat yourself up too much.  How did you know that this far out alcohol would still be a factor?  Like you said, you went most of 2016 sleeping really well and now this BS again.  But I think this time around you will recover much quicker.  Here's to hoping we both get some decent sleep tonight.

 

Thanks, I really hope so. I’m having a hard time coping with this mentally. Hopefully yours will abate soon also.

[[...]]

Hey Siggy,

 

I'm sorry for your rough time. Now I'm happy that I resisted for over 4 years to any form of alcohol. I've been bullied for this. "Come on, what kind of man are you? Not even a beer?" Even people that know my story say that I'm cuckoo and after 4 years off of only few pills I can't still suffer. Looks like Ativan is one of the most sleep disrupting benzo.

 

I was 4 years off in Sep 1st and I'm going through a period of bad insomnia, digestive issues, headaches and what not.

[[Si...]]

Hey Siggy,

 

I'm sorry for your rough time. Now I'm happy that I resisted for over 4 years to any form of alcohol. I've been bullied for this. "Come on, what kind of man are you? Not even a beer?" Even people that know my story say that I'm cuckoo and after 4 years off of only few pills I can't still suffer. Looks like Ativan is one of the most sleep disrupting benzo.

 

I was 4 years off in Sep 1st and I'm going through a period of bad insomnia, digestive issues, headaches and what not.

 

Hi Mitzi, yes alcohol can do terrible things. I wish I had kept up my program of avoiding it. I've screwed up my progress.

[[pe...]]

I'm going on six weeks wd from 1 mg xanax for insomnia at night which I have suffered from off and on for over 50 years. I was on the xanax for over 14 years.

I stopped twice but went back because I was too anxious over not sleeping 7-8 hours when I should have just understood that some nights I will be up. That was what broke me both times I tried to stop. Thinking something else must be more "normal" - but not for me.

I have learned to just lay in bed and listen to some quiet meditation on headphones. My therapist recommended this site and it has been wonderful with many quieting meditations all free.

https://insighttimer.com

What I have realized is that I do fall asleep now for about 3-4 hours of deep and wonderful sleep with dreams and refreshing feelings. This started about day 7-10. Then I wake up  -- usually between 2- 5 am - and if I listen to the tapes I don't worry if I'm sleeping any particular amount of time. Just NOT feeling worry over NOT sleeping. I was assured by a doctor that I'm probably falling in and out of a sleep pattern that - though brief - means I am not totally awake. It is comforting. I have been assured that I won't die from lack of sleep and eventually it will come together in the middle of the night and once in a while it happens and feels GREAT.

I think it is the terror of thinking we will never sleep that causes the real pain. But we will. We probably are sleeping more than we think -- even a few minutes. Our bodies will do what it must to survive. We have to stop imposing some definition of how we must sleep or not. That is my biggest stumbling block. I am unique. I have been changed by chemicals. I will find a way out.

Thanks for listening. Sweet dreams.

I have also taken warm baths. Had sleeptime tea - massages. accupuncture.

peargirl

 

xanax  .5 2x per night for 14 years.

6 weeks off

 

[[al...]]

I'm going on six weeks wd from 1 mg xanax for insomnia at night which I have suffered from off and on for over 50 years. I was on the xanax for over 14 years.

I stopped twice but went back because I was too anxious over not sleeping 7-8 hours when I should have just understood that some nights I will be up. That was what broke me both times I tried to stop. Thinking something else must be more "normal" - but not for me.

I have learned to just lay in bed and listen to some quiet meditation on headphones. My therapist recommended this site and it has been wonderful with many quieting meditations all free.

https://insighttimer.com

What I have realized is that I do fall asleep now for about 3-4 hours of deep and wonderful sleep with dreams and refreshing feelings. This started about day 7-10. Then I wake up  -- usually between 2- 5 am - and if I listen to the tapes I don't worry if I'm sleeping any particular amount of time. Just NOT feeling worry over NOT sleeping. I was assured by a doctor that I'm probably falling in and out of a sleep pattern that - though brief - means I am not totally awake. It is comforting. I have been assured that I won't die from lack of sleep and eventually it will come together in the middle of the night and once in a while it happens and feels GREAT.

I think it is the terror of thinking we will never sleep that causes the real pain. But we will. We probably are sleeping more than we think -- even a few minutes. Our bodies will do what it must to survive. We have to stop imposing some definition of how we must sleep or not. That is my biggest stumbling block. I am unique. I have been changed by chemicals. I will find a way out.

Thanks for listening. Sweet dreams.

I have also taken warm baths. Had sleeptime tea - massages. accupuncture.

peargirl

 

xanax  .5 2x per night for 14 years.

6 weeks off

 

Pearlgirl,

I am happy to hear that you have adopted the correct mindset to get through all of this. I think that you are very correct when you say that we probably sleep more than we think. My wife often comments on my snoring when I feel 100% certain that I did not sleep a wink. I never hear the snores so I must have been sleeping. Happy healing to you!