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looking for some advice/help


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I am 34 years old (only child) with a father (he is 65) who has been going through benzo withdrawal symptoms for the past 1-2 years. 


Initial withdrawal was rapid detox about 2 years ago (wish we could go back in time to follow an Ashton taper method, but my family wasn't educated enough at the time).  He has been in and out of the hospital, polydrugged, you name it.


Currently, he is medication free and doing well EXCEPT for the fact that he has severe anxiety any time he tries to leave the house or complete a menial task (shaving, trimming his nails, etc).  He basically spends his days sleeping, having my mom prepare his meals, and watching tv/reading the paper.  Obviously this is having a tremendous negative impact on my parents' marriage because my mom feels incredibly alone and is resentful of the fact that she has become a full-time caretaker.


I want to help my parents, but there's only so much I can do.  I live about an hour from them, have a very demanding career, and in the middle of planning a wedding (set to be married to a wonderful girl next May).  My mom calls me every few days crying and telling me that she can't go on like this.  She is seeing a therapist, but I feel that the burden of her emotional care falls on me.


Just looking for some help/recommendations on getting my dad back on track.  I know he wants to get well, but he isn't seeing a therapist or taking any other proactive steps to help with his anxiety.  It's getting so bad that my mom keeps threatening him with divorce, which obviously isn't helping the situation.  He also keeps canceling his psychiatrist appointments because he's so fearful of leaving the house.  My mom is going to try to find a psychiatrist that makes house visits.


I don't want to suggest putting him back on a benzo, but I fear no alternative if I want to save my parents marriage (and my sanity!).  Just completely lost and looking for some guidance.


Thank you.



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also, if there is another message board within the forum that is more suitable for this type of post, please let me know.


thank you

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Hi there


I am so sorry that your dad is going through all this and your mom too.  It is no wonder that your mom is finding it so hard to cope.  I too am in my 60s and have endured a terrible withdrawal but I am making very good progress at 42 months off.  I was in bed for three years.  My symptoms were physical so I can't help with the anxiety but plenty of people here can.  I do think your mom and dad need some hope and they can get that here.  Would they be willing or able to come onto the forum themselves? The important thing is to know it won't alway be this way, it will get better.  I have been glad that I live alone, it would have been a terrible ordeal for a partner to live through this too.


There is another board for people who are off their drugs for 18 months or more so that may be more appropriate for you.




I do hope you can tell your mom and dad that there is hope. 


All the best


Fiona  :thumbsup:

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