I don't even know what is happening to me

[[Ra...]]

The doctor told me to take a couple extra doses of Ativan as needed to ge tme through the weekend. this morning, instead of .25, I took .5. I feel like its doing absolutely nothing for me. It's been more than half an hour.  I have no idea anymore what anxiety and what's the med. is it even the meds or is it just my mind and my thoughts making everything worse? I just don't know anything anymore. If it is anxiety, and these meds help with that, then what about the jerking and the nightmares that have likely prevented a good nights sleep in five years. I know I need to focus on the present moment, minute by minute.  I keep hopping for a moment of clarity, where something will make sense. A direction will seem clear, etc. I know I need a support system. That much is clear to me. I have gotten great support on BB. Now I need boots on the ground.